Last spring I posted Finding Your Inner Sex Goddess.  We talked about our sensuality and using all of our senses to feel sexy again.  Consider this to be Part II of that post because you’re sexy and you know it!  I recently read on Huffington Post that women are happier and feel sexier after divorce.  The post begins with “There is something amazing and magical that happens when women divorce. They get beautiful. And they get horny.”  I guess it’s something about leaving that marital sex behind.  Someone told me they compared their marital sex life to a bad one night stand.  “Sorry, I couldn’t last…”  Well, no reason now to put up with that kind of sex.  Here are some tips to get you going if your libido is on low drive;

Check out some of these erotic films;

9 1/2 Weeks

-Mickey Rourke & Kim Basinger c. 1986

Henry and June

p.c. Wikipedia

-about Anais Nin,  Henry Miller & wife (an interesting 3some) c.1990

The Getaway

-Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin c.1996

Sex, Lies and Videotape

-James Spader, Andie MacDowall c. 1989

Body Heat

-William Hurt, Kathleen Turner c. 1981

The Lover

-Jane March & Tony Leung Ka-Fai c. 1992

p.c. Wikipedia

After you indulge in some visual eroticism, make sure you have a trusted toy.  If you’re not having fun with yourself then how is someone else going to?   Don’t be shy.  Post divorce is a great time to experiment not just with others but…well you get the idea.  What were some of your hang ups during your marriage?  Were there some things you wanted to try but were too self conscious to ask for?  Finding yourself a lover you can be open with will change your sexual experience.  No more bad ‘one night stand’ sex.  I’m no expert on this but I believe the dating process should include talking about sex.  Why not? Instead of bitching about your ex on your date, try asking a few questions about his sex interests and experiences…it may reveal your compatibility in the bedroom before hopping in the sack.

If you don’t have a toy, get out there to the sex shops maybe with a friend.  It’s a fun time and the people who work at these places are very helpful and non judgmental.  I personally love the Kama Sutra products.  Their massage oils are edible and they come in delicious flavors (chocolate cinnamon anyone?).  Anything you can think of you will find there.

Last note, be nice to yourself.  Many women, myself included check ourselves in the mirror while getting dressed and find flaws or tell ourselves we need to lose weight.  I challenge you (and me) to give a compliment every time we catch a glimpse of our naked bodies while dressing.  See if you can do this for a month straight and if it improves how you feel about your body.  We have to work with what we’re given and we should make the most of it.  We are imperfect and that is what makes us interesting.  Praise instead of criticism will help you feel sexual.  I’m guilty of this too. Did you know that when I started this blog and the social media, I hated all pictures of myself?  I need to take my own challenge!  It’s time to be a sex goddess…

How did your sex life change after divorce?

What is the one quality in a lover you look for?

What’s your favorite erotic movie, please share with us!

Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!

Huffington Post’s article is worth a read.