I was perusing a few antique stores the other day in Gastown, a funky neighborhood in my hometown of Vancouver. I always find it interesting that in every store there is inevitably a box full of old, black and white family photos. 
Who are these people? Well, they could be anyone. They could be my own relatives and I wouldn’t even know it! These snaps made me think about how all of our family photos are similar. These old photos each tell their own story but collectively they reflect a certain time, with certain attitudes and mores.
The wedding photos in particular, made me smile to myself. Must everyone be so serious? I guess that’s our generation’s problem, when you look at our contemporary wedding photos everyone is smiling and laughing.
Perhaps we weren’t taking our wedding vows seriously enough…I hear a whisper from our forefathers. Those stern faces in those anonymous wedding pictures are whispering in my ear…if you had been more like us; stern, unhappy and determined maybe your marriage would have lasted 70 years like ours…Maybe I answer to myself, but look where your photos ended up? Did anyone really care in the end, how many years you were married?
source; anamotomy.wordpress
When I was living in my own home post separation, and my ex-husband was moving, there was a piece of furniture that I had asked for. He graciously delivered it to my garage while I was away. Upon my return home, when I pulled my car into the garage there was the chair I had asked for and sitting on it was our large, framed wedding photo.
I hadn’t asked for that. No, sir. I had no plans to hang that baby up in my new home. But maybe he thought I would enjoy it…maybe it was a blunt reminder from him as if to say here look at this for a while and think about what you’ve done. It was strange seeing it sitting there like a ghost.
The question was what would I do with this? I remember asking a friend and his answer surprised me. Why don’t you keep it for a while before you decide. It was a time in your life. It is a part of YOU. It was hard to hear that and as I looked at my 22 year old, innocent face it made me sad.
In the end I had to dispose of it. Off it went to the wedding photo graveyard. I’m glad I did because I would hate to walk into an antique store years from now and see it hanging on the wall with a $5 price tag. But at least we were smiling…
What did you do with your wedding photos after divorce? Did you save them for your children or did you lay them to rest in the wedding photo graveyard?
Leave a comment I LOVE ’em!
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Balroop Singh
May 23, 2018 at 8:07 amYou have packed mixed emotions in this post Lisa…while that black and white picture made me smile and wonder, your own wedding picture that you sent to graveyard pained my heart.
You are right, smiling in olden times seemed to be taboo as I don’t remember seeing any such picture in which the groom and the bride smile. A bride was expected to be serious and teary-eyed as she was leaving her home and family behind but a groom? why he didn’t smile? Arrogance?
Contemporary pictures are much better but they fade into insignificance if couples divorce! My niece divorced and my sister got all the pictures destroyed…even videos that she had given us…we destroyed them. No use keeping such memories.
lisa
May 25, 2018 at 8:16 amIt’s funny the mores of the times reflected in old photos. Well, the picture I had to, ahem, remove from the premises was very large. If it had been a simple 4×6 I could have tucked it away and given it to the kids if they had wanted it. But I do have one pic of me as a bride. It’s one stage of my life and captures that important day. Yes, I think where there’s divorce there’s no need to keep all the photos and videos, and yet one or two to acknowledge that it was part of our life, isn’t such a terrible thing. I actually wrote this post a few years ago now but it’s still a relevant topic! 😀
Back In Time | The Great Escape Divorce Support at Lisa Thomson Live
May 22, 2018 at 10:04 am[…] had a couple of video camera cassettes tucked away. Now, I’ve discussed here before photo albums and wedding pictures-–what we do with them in the event of divorce but we haven’t talked about those precious […]
Beverly Diehl
July 1, 2013 at 9:09 pmOne of the decluttering things I’ve heard is to get rid of anything that isn’t a) flattering, b) useful, or c) brings back good memories.
I don’t want to deny the person I was, and what I felt, when I was involved with ANY of my exes. Yet. I do need to do some more photo decluttering.
Kind of sad to think of those antique photos, and nobody knows who they were, why they married. On the other hand, we could sure make up some interesting stories.
lisa
July 1, 2013 at 10:31 pmI agree, Beverly. You make a good point about de-cluttering. I like the a,b,c rule! It’s just something we inevitably have to do to move forward and lighten our load. We will always have the memories to refer back to.