Are you tired of being the Good Wife?  I’m sure you’ll agree that when we say our vows we have the best intentions.  Our twenty-something selves actually believe in the fairytale.  We are dressed in a fluffy white dress looking like the icing on a cupcake.  Yet, somehow this didn’t tip us off that it wasn’t realistic.  So, we became the Good Wife.  We all intended to be just that but it didn’t matter how ‘GOOD’ we were, it all fell apart (or it is falling apart).

photo credit; Jeffrey Neira

Let’s look at a fictional Good Wife.  Alicia, from the top notch legal drama The Good Wife makes a great case study.   You’ll see the ‘sacrifices’ Alicia (played by Julianna Margulies) makes repeatedly for her husband’s political career.  Even after he cheats on her with prostitutes  she continues her commitment to his cause. 

She clearly isn’t a stupid woman since she has her own prestigious career as a defense attorney.  In fact she is intelligent, elegant, beautiful and a good mother.  So why does she continue this sham of a marriage?  Yes, her hubby is nice looking (played by Chris Noth) and they still have sexual trysts (which I understand even less) but her forbidden love interest is also hot…and so the plot thickens.

She has the career and the beautiful children but she doesn’t have a beautiful marriage.  And she hates herself a little each day that she sacrifices and lies to herself about her husband.  Each day she does one more thing for him even using her law firm and the people in it to further benefit her unfaithful husband.

This character flaw in her drives me crazy when I watch the show.  I always complain to my boyfriend “Why is she doing that?” or “Why doesn’t she give him the boot?”  I even lean forward on the couch and growl at the television.  He replies with a laugh “It wouldn’t work without her flaw.”  I guess they would even have to change the title.

In the most recent episode, Alicia surprises us at the end of the show when she makes a life decision that is going to change everything.  We get the sense that she’s taking one step further away from being  The Good Wife.  But we’ll have to wait for the next episode to find out exactly what that decision was.  Is she changing law firms or is she going to divorce Peter? Is she going to go for it with her true, forbidden love finally?

Alicia is our example of the ones who make it work by overcoming infidelity, stupidity, and dishonesty.  The stoic wives.  The ones who sacrificed and recognized the importance of their vows.  The question is how much sacrifice is too much?  Is Alicia better off making that final break or is she a terrific role model the way she is?

Us? We sacrificed too but we realized when it was time to stop.   I hope Alicia joins us.  I would like to see her liberated from her Good Wife role and become truer to herself; a finer example of a woman who has it all, someone like you.

Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!