June has come and gone in a blur. Honestly? I haven’t been productive at all where my writing is concerned. YES, I did publish a book on June 1st…so, there’s that.

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At the risk of sounding smug, I’d like to warn  of these common divorce mistakes (a few that I’ve made myself). These are only a sampling of many mistakes we make but I’ve narrowed it down to the top five. So, this is a quick and dirty list of what not to do during your divorce.

A list of ten things seems to be a nice way to reflect on complex issues. You can check out my previous post listing 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce. Although today’s list is similar, I wanted to emphasize some new points.

It’s like my older self is telling my younger (about to get divorced) self, what to expect.

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We’re all carrying at least one suitcase with us, day in, day out. It’s our baggage. It’s full of our own personal issues; lies, denial, delusions, past wrongs, blame, hope for the future.

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Isn’t it true that we have to go through something to really understand it? We can plan and have opinions about something but until it happens to us we don’t grasp the full concept. Divorce is no different. I guess it’s a little like death of a loved one. Again, it’s something we have to go through, get to the other side before we understand it.

Do you hang on to those negative memories a little too long? Wishing they had been different. Maybe wishing you had been different—said something different? I do. I try not to but there I go…remembering stuff again. Sometimes these memories pop up at the weirdest times, lurking and waiting to own my mind once again.

I wrote a post about how to tell the difference between a run of the mill A**hole and a Narcissist. I wrote it about six months ago and it has quickly topped my most popular blog ranking. Yes, there is a difference between an A**hole and a Narcissist and apparently many folks are interested in the subject. Next, I wrote about managing the narcissist in your life. I covered many tips and examples of how to handle the narcissist.

So, now let’s remind ourselves why we are foolish to continue relationships with Narcs and why sometimes even setting boundaries isn’t enough.

In honor of my 50th birthday…gulp…I’m sharing my humble list of 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years.  Some things are funny.  Some are things you’ll say “She’s just figured that out now?”  Yes, I’m still figuring things out…so please have a read and a laugh.  I have a special request for you though, before you make too much fun of me, share at least one thing you’ve learned in the comments 🙂

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Fall is in the air. I can almost smell the new, freshly sharpened pencils and blank notebooks.  You know the ones with the line on the left margin? I can feel the brand new text books with stubborn spines holding promise of a new world of words and facts.  Even if we’re not returning to school something in our soul tells us so.  The falling leaves, the sound of school bells and new shoes all say “hey, what are you going to learn?”

Are you going back to school to try something new or are you going to simply turn over a new leaf?

This post was updated October, 2023. There seems to be a EX Narcissist epidemic. The most common statements I hear over social media and blogging are “My Ex is a Narcissist.” OR “I was married to a Narcissist.”

Funny, you just don’t hear I was married to a complete A**hole anymore. Why?  Because the A**hole has been replaced by the Narcissist it seems.

Narcissism is a personality disorder (NPD) which technically, can only be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. But with the power of the internet we can all identify signs and symptoms of Narcissism at our fingertips. We already know what an a**hole is, right?  So, let’s find out what a Narc is…we’re  curious. We begin reading and watching youtube videos on the subject and voila, we’re convinced our Ex really is a Narcissist and maybe he IS.