I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

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From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:

When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood.  We want to do what’s best for our babies.  Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us.  If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years.  The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce.  We stay at home moms are

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Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

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One of the most startling changes during my divorce, was my perception of myself. That sounds strange but when I was married I was a good girl.  I was a good wife.  I understood my role and made the best of my marital life.  I played by the rules.  I fulfilled expectations as a soccer mom, school volunteer and as a friend and business wife.  I wouldn’t call myself a trophy wife as that would suggest I spent many hours primping and looking

Should you buy or rent during divorce?  Ideally, we would like to keep the matrimonial home and live there with the children.  The last thing we want to do is let go of all of those memories we’ve made there.  However, the cost of the household and your ex maintaining his own house is not feasible for many divorcing couples.   The reality is most couples end up selling the matrimonial home and each downsizing to accommodate a maxed out budget.  But it’s not as bad as it sounds.  The question

“Just get up, put your lipstick on and get out there.”  This was the advice given to a friend of mine by her grandmother when she was going through her divorce.

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So many pretty colors to choose from…

Grandma gave this advice for different situations, not just during divorce.  She gave herself this advice when her husband passed away.  The devastating loss had her feeling hopeless until she told herself  “Get off your ass, and put your lipstick on…” In other words,  get up and ‘Just Do It’.  Did Nike steal this grandmother’s mantra (minus the lipstick)?  It seems Liz Taylor would agree.  The drink is optional, of course…

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Doin’ the Divorce Happy Dance?  Well, that’s what women are doing according to the study from the Kingston University in London.  Whereas men although slightly happier at their divorce conclusion, are not as significantly as the women.  It turns out men are a little less excited and happy about this whole divorce ‘thing’.

What impressed me in the study is it shows that despite the decrease in income levels and the stress involved in divorce, women reported to be happier then when they were married.  This

Well, I scrolled through all kinds of inspirational quotes today and couldn’t seem to find one that spoke to us.  Then I saw this bird cage with a quote that seemed appropriate.  It’s all about freedom…believing in you…dreaming big dreams…knowing today isn’t the end of your story, only the beginning…

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There is no more stressful time than during a divorce, except for death.  Think about that for a minute.  Divorce is a grieving process of sorts.

If you are going through it right now, chances are you’ve let your self care routine slide.  There are other more important things to worry about than my hair…you hear yourself say…the children come first, you say…and they do however, if you keep putting yourself last you won’t get through this journey intact. 

Here is a quote from a writer who lived on the outside of the social scene.  An eccentric who’s writings were not respected while alive but has influenced contemporary writers of this and the last century.  Who said this…

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

I guess another way of saying this is “hindsight is 20/20” or “if only I had known___”.  The point is sometimes we don’t know WHY things happen but in time the answers are revealed to us.  In the meantime…since we have no choice but to live forwards might as well take a leap….

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