It’s time again for “Dear Lisa, Reader Question…” I received a good one a few months ago and have been meaning to share it with you. Why? Because the question represents a common problem: A new boyfriend (or girlfriend).  Although their intentions are often good, getting involved in the divorce rarely ‘helps’ the situation.

image source pinterest; photographer name I could not locate.

Forget the sins, let’s talk about the signs. Deadly ones. Meaning if two or more of these are in your relationship then stop, drop and roll it over. In other words, stop any plans for marriage, drop any ideas about long term commitment and roll him gently out the door.

image source; Tartooful.com

Not long ago, the word Chakra came onto my radar. How did it come up? Well, the store I worked in sold jewelry related to our Chakras.

For example, there is a troll bead (as seen in this image) to represent each Chakra. Trollbeads are glass beads that are designed to be worn on bracelet or necklace.

I have been contacted by some really great guys here at the Great Escape blog. One of them said to me last week “I have a strong feeling that many men like myself who could benefit from your words are immediately turned off by the subject and the target audience.” Burrrrrrn.

I wrote a post about how to tell the difference between a run of the mill A**hole and a Narcissist. I wrote it about six months ago and it has quickly topped my most popular blog ranking. Yes, there is a difference between an A**hole and a Narcissist and apparently many folks are interested in the subject. Next, I wrote about managing the narcissist in your life. I covered many tips and examples of how to handle the narcissist.

So, now let’s remind ourselves why we are foolish to continue relationships with Narcs and why sometimes even setting boundaries isn’t enough.

image source jwa.org

Well, that was easy. Kody and Meri pressed the easy button and voila, they’re divorced. I guess when you have four wives divorcing one isn’t a big loss. In the case of TLC’s Sister Wives, there is no loss at all for Kody. He and Meri will remain “close”. She’s still a Sister Wife, just not legally married to Kody after 25 years of putting up with his other 15 children, and multiple wives.

image source pinterest

We think it’s the right dress for us. We loved that color at the time…but now looking back at an old photo we wonder “What was I thinking?”

Huge shoulder pads, ‘pleather’ pants, floral material at the bottom of our bell bottom jeans.  Pea green skirts and dresses to match our appliances.  Stirrup pants with white boots? Onesies—oh they’re back, baby but you won’t catch me in one.  How about the Grunge era? Did you have a man to match your baggy plaid shirt, Doc Martins and greasy hair?  Kurt Cobain was kind of hot.

In honor of my 50th birthday…gulp…I’m sharing my humble list of 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years.  Some things are funny.  Some are things you’ll say “She’s just figured that out now?”  Yes, I’m still figuring things out…so please have a read and a laugh.  I have a special request for you though, before you make too much fun of me, share at least one thing you’ve learned in the comments 🙂

Sometimes I’ll get a question and my answer makes me feel a little like Ann Landers. I know I flatter myself when I say that but read this q & a and you’ll know what I mean.

Question:

How would I find out if my boyfriend and his soon to be ex wife followed through with their Court date or if they cancelled the whole process of the divorce?  My boyfriend tells me the court got pushed back but no specific date given yet; I have reasons to believe they may have

This post was updated on May 9, 2020.

Have you heard of Scapegoating syndrome? I hadn’t heard of it until I randomly came across this post in my facebook feed;  Scapegoating: When You Get Stuck Trying to Outrun Someone Else’s Shadow by Glynis Sherwood. This article answered many questions for me. It solved a mystery that I just couldn’t figure out.