image source; collider film review. Will Ferrel in Everything Must Go

Letting go of our stuff is one of the steps to moving forward but how and when can we do this? That’s the tricky part and there isn’t one perfect answer. Each of us hold different attachments to our things, stuff. We all have various degrees of emotional attachment.  At the outset of divorce we can be a little too hasty in discarding our old life. Until some time passes, we don’t know what these items will mean to us. What memory will they evoke or what part of ourselves will they represent. if any? If you’re not sure right now, then keep them and let some time pass before revisiting their worth.

image source unsplash by Kevin Lee

I used to equate grace with ballerinas. Their long legs and perfectly held arms and delicate buns atop their perfect shaped heads, said ‘graceful’. I thought of myself as the polar opposite of the ballet dancer. I had no grace.

I was often called ‘clumsy’ as a child. I still lose my grip sometimes, spilling milk, not to cry over or maybe it’s spilled wine to cry over. Regardless, things get spilled and people cry.

image-by-Creative-Commons-Ninha-Morandini

I’m not sure what chapter I’m in but I hope it’s somewhere in the middle. The saggy middle. That’s the part of the story where we have to continue the suspense and rising action or we’ll get bored and abandon the book. How many chapters will our life even contain? While we don’t know the answer to this, an unknown ending is what keeps us moving forward.

image source creative commons

Maybe while we were married we could afford to let a little money ‘go missing’ or be ‘stolen’ from our wallet but things change when we get divorced. If you’re a single parent, you’re likely on a budget or at the very least cognizant of where your pennies are going. Maybe you just want to tighten up your

Memory sketch of the back view of our old home

On facebook the other day, a divorced father and friend of mine (from one of the first divorce support groups I belonged to) posted an interesting set of photos. The status update read “went to see the old house today with the kids. We peeked inside the windows and went in the backyard. I planted that tree and look how big it is now.” He had some of his old photos mixed in with photos he took of the kids beside the tree today. I thought it was really great how he had images of 10 years ago and today, how the kids and trees had grown. Bitter-sweet, I think.

It got me thinking about my recent view of my old marital home, where my babies were born. I didn’t get to walk around and peek in windows. My view was a virtual one. I couldn’t see the back of the house but this sketch is from memory. It’s obvious I’m not an architect 😉 I must practice my sketching skills but I digress.

“Lisa, you’ve changed.” he said. I wanted to answer;

“Yes, you’ve changed me.” Instead, I simply stared and waited for him to finish his point, which he did not.

I won’t say who said it or when. I will say that it’s been said by more than one person. I will also say that it’s true. I have changed. Since when? I’m not sure…but I have changed. Here’s the thing, I’m a human being. I’m not an inanimate object. If I’m not changing then I must be dead.

It’s okay to change isn’t it?

pin up girl Hilda by Duane Bryers

Say what? I know it’s the middle of summer and if you’re like me, you’re still shy about frolicking in your bikini. Last weekend on a hot sunny July afternoon, my Beau and I were sitting at the beach before we went out to dinner. We weren’t dressed to swim or frolic that afternoon but we sure enjoyed watching everyone else do so. I got the most pleasant surprise of the summer right there on the beach. It’s not what you think…

photo by Mary Schonnen

One of my favorite summer posts I’ve updated from the archives. Summer inspiration.

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’..”

That old Gershwin jazz tune always plays through my mind in June.

Summer is upon us and we’ve waited patiently for it to come! We even travel great distances at great expense during the winter months to get a taste of this season in some other exotic locale.  But now we have it, right outside our own

I was recently told “You are very much a daughter of destiny.”

It’s an interesting statement. It begs the question; Are our experiences and life-events destined or are they a result of our own decisions?

image source pinterest

Isn’t it true that we have to go through something to really understand it? We can plan and have opinions about something but until it happens to us we don’t grasp the full concept. Divorce is no different. I guess it’s a little like death of a loved one. Again, it’s something we have to go through, get to the other side before we understand it.