image source Unsplash by Christopher Harris

I’m  re-posting an updated, yet classic from the archives.

One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.

It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though, that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it.

my rough sketch of the back of our old home. watching the videos took me inside and into the backyard again. it was almost exactly how i remembered it.

As many of you know, my marriage ended many moons ago. 2005 to be exact. The divorce dragged on as most do, but if we’re talking about the actual marriage, it ended thirteen years ago. My, how time flies.

image source Dreamstime

One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.

It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it.

Memory sketch of the back view of our old home

On facebook the other day, a divorced father and friend of mine (from one of the first divorce support groups I belonged to) posted an interesting set of photos. The status update read “went to see the old house today with the kids. We peeked inside the windows and went in the backyard. I planted that tree and look how big it is now.” He had some of his old photos mixed in with photos he took of the kids beside the tree today. I thought it was really great how he had images of 10 years ago and today, how the kids and trees had grown. Bitter-sweet, I think.

It got me thinking about my recent view of my old marital home, where my babies were born. I didn’t get to walk around and peek in windows. My view was a virtual one. I couldn’t see the back of the house but this sketch is from memory. It’s obvious I’m not an architect 😉 I must practice my sketching skills but I digress.

I had this thought the other night. If I died tomorrow, what would people find at my house apartment and what would that stuff say about me?  I know, it’s kind of a weird thought but sometimes I look around and wonder, among all my things which are a) the most valuable and

Maxine is owned by Hallmark but she likes to visit me here

I wouldn’t have ever thought someone would ask me for tips on keeping the household organized during divorce 😉 They obviously don’t know me, right? Well, to be fair I did learn a thing or two about correcting some of my own disorganization during divorce. I guess I am qualified to write this post, after all.

The big ‘C’ is almost here. Instead of getting all anxious and thinking about what could possibly go wrong (presents aren’t wrapped, Santa forgot something or someone, the stockings aren’t full enough etc.) I’m going to be grateful. Gratitude is something I’ve been

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

Should you buy or rent during divorce?  Ideally, we would like to keep the matrimonial home and live there with the children.  The last thing we want to do is let go of all of those memories we’ve made there.  However, the cost of the household and your ex maintaining his own house is not feasible for many divorcing couples.   The reality is most couples end up selling the matrimonial home and each downsizing to accommodate a maxed out budget.  But it’s not as bad as it sounds.  The question

During the initial stages of separation and divorce, we find that we have lost our normal.  This is unsettling for us humans since we thrive on routine.  Our simple routine of daily tasks and some of our traditions are thrown out.  It’s called change or transition and it’s not an easy part of the process.  How can