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The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown is definitely an antidote to therapy.  In therapy we look inside to see where we went wrong…but in the book, Brene reminds us to look outside ourselves and see the big picture.  It’s comforting when you’re going through difficult life changes, to know that it’s better to look at the big picture than focusing on your flaws.

From the archives…dealing with anger never goes out of style.

Did you remember to take your happy pill today?  Last week?  Last month, last year?  OOps.  It’s hard to feel happy in the middle of an emotionally and financially taxing divorce.  Forgiveness, love, joy and fun are often substituted with grudge, hate, worry and anger.  So how do we deal with these negative emotions? Since we can’t take a happy pill and get over it, we have to look to other methods to adapt.  How about embracing it?  Owning it? 

Hint: It wasn’t a love letter…Today I’m over at DivorcedMoms.com. Come on over and check out this fabulous site.  It proves to be an unprecedented resource for women navigating divorce.

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From the archives, how to cheer up the darker days…

The days are getting shorter, the nights colder.  Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits.  If you are mid-divorce especially, the darkness out your window only adds to your dark mood.

Being too nice during your divorce

can cost you…money, assets and even the kids.  I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’.  This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality.  It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave.  They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.

“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.” -Sigmund Freud

Henri Matisse

Whoever said dreams are meaningless was wrong.  Do you suffer from nocturnal meanderings that disturb your sleep?  Our subconscious thoughts get mixed up with our events of the day to culminate in some pretty strange dreams.  During divorce, our daytime events are often full of stress and conflict.  What we would like to forget at the end of the day can come back to haunt us in our

photo by Mary Schonnen

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’..”  That old Gershwin jazz tune always plays through my mind in June.  Summer is upon us and we’ve waited patiently for it to come! We even travel great distances at great expense during the winter months to get a taste of this season in some other exotic locale.  But now we have it, right outside our own

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There is no more stressful time than during a divorce, except for death.  Think about that for a minute.  Divorce is a grieving process of sorts.

If you are going through it right now, chances are you’ve let your self care routine slide.  There are other more important things to worry about than my hair…you hear yourself say…the children come first, you say…and they do however, if you keep putting yourself last you won’t get through this journey intact. 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

This one gives me pause.  How do I let someone make me feel inferior?  Isn’t it what they say or do that makes me feel inferior?  Maybe what Mrs. Roosevelt is referring to is surrounding ourselves with the wrong people.  If someone is repeatedly saying or doing things that make you feel inferior then it is up to you ultimately to remove yourself from that person. Don’t go back for more.  Stop participating in the negativity.

Surround yourself with positive people and those who, while in their company make you feel good about yourself.  Also, a healthy dose of not caring what people think, and being comfortable in your skin will reduce those inferior reactions.

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 How did you stop letting people make you feel inferior?

Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!

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One of the best stress busters during divorce or any difficult time, is exercise.  Any sweaty sport, activity or even a simple brisk walk can clear the mind of our negative thoughts firing.  Sweat therapy I call it, because you get in the moment and forget all of the worries that are plaguing your mind and focus on what your