“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
LOSS-we all experience it, especially during divorce. The fact is we lose stuff everyday; a thought, our keys, our phone, a memory, our coins, a contest, a challenge, a call and the biggest one of all—TIME.
In tackling this subject I really wanted to express the idea that loss is something we all deal with whether they’re losses that leave a crevice in our hearts or small ones, that niggle on the left side of our brain.
Loss is just an unfortunate part of life…
From the archives…dealing with anger never goes out of style.
Did you remember to take your happy pill today? Last week? Last month, last year? OOps. It’s hard to feel happy in the middle of an emotionally and financially taxing divorce. Forgiveness, love, joy and fun are often substituted with grudge, hate, worry and anger. So how do we deal with these negative emotions? Since we can’t take a happy pill and get over it, we have to look to other methods to adapt. How about embracing it? Owning it?
Hint: It wasn’t a love letter…Today I’m over at DivorcedMoms.com. Come on over and check out this fabulous site. It proves to be an unprecedented resource for women navigating divorce.
image source; MissLeslieKnopeTumblr
From the archives, how to cheer up the darker days…
The days are getting shorter, the nights colder. Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits. 
If you are mid-divorce especially, the darkness out your window only adds to your dark mood.
The Royal Tenenbaums is a film about family relationships including divorce and separation.
It is one of Wes Anderson’s finest films featuring twisted, kinky, loving, cheated and needy people who make up a mostly neurotic family.
Why would I choose to highlight this film on my blog? Simple. It’s a great example of taking situations related to divorce and making them funny…and…if the Royal Tenenbaums can get through their outrageous problems so can we…
can cost you…money, assets and even the kids. I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’. This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality. It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave. They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.
I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.” I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise. Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well. We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation. All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life. If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?
photo source; children-and-dvorce.net
One of the most destructive patterns of behavior in a divorce is Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS as it is known in certain circles. I hadn’t heard of the term when I separated from my husband but if only I had, I would have seen the red flags flying above my head. While knowledge is power, I was naive. Even if you are not experiencing PAS, it’s important to understand what it is and at least recognize the signs.
image source; Dreamstime
From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:
When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood. We want to do what’s best for our babies. Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us. If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years. The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce. We stay at home moms are
Book Review…i and the Great Divide by Fiona McGlynn
New author Fiona McGlynn has created, with illustrator Robin Urquhart a book that explains divorce for children. i And the Great Divide is a simple and visually appealing book designed to help the younger child understand divorce in their family. The most important message in the book? It’s not your fault…ever. Mom and Dad still love you.
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