If you’re in the middle of your divorce you probably feel like you’re chasing paper. You may have legal papers and bills spread out on your living room table. You have important letters from your lawyer mixed up in your mail. You haven’t opened the last envelope from your lawyer because you’re worried it’s a huge bill. These lawyers fees add up pretty quickly, while nothing seems to be getting done at all. Sound familiar?
During my divorce, I was NOT very organized. My lawyer bills were usually paid on time but the invoice would sit in a pile of papers to be filed. I did actually get to a point where my whole body would repel the envelope with his name on it. I was sickened inside at the cost of it all. Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t help you get or stay organized. All that fear does is freeze you. While you’re frozen, it weighs on your shoulders like an ice berg. You say to yourself…”Dammit, I have to pay that bill.”
The thing is although it’s normal to react this way, it’s not productive. Here’s what you’re going to do instead. You’re going to open the mail as soon as you get it. You’re going to review every bill and make sure there are no errors. You’re going to pay it by the end of the month. It’s going to have to be done and you’re the only one who can. So just ‘do it’ :)…think of it as ‘kicking a**’ and taking control…
Image source Erin Smith Art
1. Get a large binder and some dividers
-organize a legal binder to contain ALL legal documents including, affidavits, emails from your lawyer, legal bills and proof of payments, filed (stamped) court orders, transcripts and letters
-you’ll want to know exactly where these documents are at all times for easy reference
-if you’re organized you’ll have a better grip on what’s happening and what is coming up
2. Keep copies of signed, FILED AND STAMPED affidavits, court orders and notice of motions but DESTROY all drafts.
-keeping drafts will confuse you plus they have no legal relevance and can’t be used for anything
3. Keep copies of transcripts from your examination or discoveries
-transcripts are the records of discovery questions and answers (yours and your ex’s) word for word
-they cost you money but are worth every penny as they are ‘gold’ as far as evidence for any future actions in your divorce.
4. Print out bills and emails from your lawyer immediately
-waiting to print out documents means we forget about them because they’re not on our actual desk or in the binder
-having hard copies of these important documents means quick access and not spending hours trying to find them in with our tons of files on the computer
-if your computer crashes you’ll have everything in print (my computer just crashed the other day and it’s disconcerting to think your important information is inaccessible, even for a few days!)
5. Copy all bills and emails from your lawyer on to a USB stick.
-keep only your legal stuff on the one usb stick for quick reference to your files from any computer
6. BONUS TIP:
Keep all of your bills because a percentage of your legal expenses can be re-claimed IF it was to claim child or alimony support plus your legal feels will be tax deductible against your annual income.
Ask your legal firm to write a letter with the total amount spent and include it in your tax return.
It’s never too late to get organized. If you leave it too long, it will become overwhelming. Organizing will help you feel more in control too. As for reviewing bills, make sure you do. I found lots of errors over the few years my lawyer represented me. It wasn’t his fault. They have legal assistants who prepare the bills (which the client pays for—yes, you pay for the legal firm to write up your bill) and they’re only human and sometimes mix up your file with other client’s. Also, there will be times you’ll disagree with your lawyer and know it’s not a crime. It’s better to speak up then stay silent. It’s your life, after all.
You can be a little more Erin Brokovich and a little less overwhelmed.
Coming up I have an interview with Family Law Attorney Brad Micklin of Micklin Law Group of New Jersey. You won’t want to miss it as he’ll be answering some important questions on divorce law.
Comments are closed.
Design by ThemeShift.
Penelope Smith
April 6, 2020 at 3:17 pmI liked your tip about keeping copies of any discoveries and transactions that are going to be used in your case. It seems like you would want to get well-printed copies of those. Just in case the original ones are lost. I would want to get any legal documents printed for me by a professional service.
Monica Chavez
May 31, 2018 at 3:35 pmI love your idea to organize a legal binder to contain all legal documents. My friend is going through a divorce right now, and she has trouble staying organized as it is, but now with all of this on her plate she’s beginning to feel really overwhelmed. I think it would help her out a lot if she had a reliable attorney to help her manage everything.
tee
December 21, 2016 at 10:25 pmHi, this was helpful.
I’m assisting a friend who after 6 years is finally reaching the end of a long drawn out divorce in Ontario. Her paperwork is a disaster. It is all over her apartment in different envelopes/folders/drawers etc….
I offered to help her consolidate it and file it away; could use tips on the best way to organize the folders; and the headings for each folder. (binders would be too expensive for her)
thanks for any help/tips
lisa
January 2, 2017 at 5:24 pmHi Tee, start by sending her the link to this post, that might be a good start. Labeling and organizing is specific to the case so she would know best what would work for her. She could try color coded file folders. Blue for correspondence with lawyer, red for correspondence with her ex, yellow for court filings etc. Again, though that depends on what works for her. Thanks for reading and stopping over here, Tee.
Deanna R. Jones
June 19, 2015 at 1:02 pmI agree, staying organized throughout your divorce seems key in order to make it more bearable. Keeping all of your bills if you need to deal with child support or alimony seems like a really important point. I’m glad that you also stated that I could ask a legal firm to write a letter with the total amount spent on my divorce to be put in my tax return. I’ll probably do that when I file for divorce this year. Thanks for the tips!
lisa
June 19, 2015 at 8:51 pmHi Deanna, I’m very happy this post has helped you out! I hope it goes well for you and that I hear from you again 🙂 You’re welcome!
Deanna R. Jones
June 23, 2015 at 4:57 pmThanks! I’ll definitely check out your site again soon for more advice.
Lily de Grey
June 12, 2015 at 6:51 amThanks for posting this article, Lisa. I’m currently going through a divorce, so I appreciated some of the tips that you’ve shared with us. I hadn’t thought of printing out bills and emails from my lawyer; maybe it would be a good idea to do that. Do you have any tips to keep the house clean and organized while going through divorce? Now that would really help! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
lisa
June 14, 2015 at 10:59 amHi Lily, I’m glad my tips have helped you 🙂 Ha. I’ll think about that housekeeping question. Stay tuned…
Ansley
November 22, 2014 at 1:41 pmGreat tips for staying organized. I could not believe how quickly the paperwork accrued during my divorce. I kept a binder and folder to try to stay organized. It also gives you a feeling of control over what is happening.
lisa
November 22, 2014 at 2:07 pmHi Ansley, Yes, it can be so overwhelming and the last thing you want to happen is lose important documents like a filed court order. More organized means more control, for sure. Thanks for stopping over!
Totally Caroline
November 16, 2014 at 11:58 amSome very good advice. I have to admit, I threw most of my stuff away as soon as I looked at it. Sometimes it was/ is just to painful.
I love the picture with the boots 🙂 too cute
lisa
November 16, 2014 at 2:15 pmHi Caroline, Well, once it’s all over it feels good to purge all of it. Shredding can be therapeutic 🙂 The artist of that pic is Erin Smith and her stuff is all so much fun. Thanks for stopping over!
Vanessa D.
November 15, 2014 at 7:39 amI was the first person in my family and limited circle of friends to divorce. While the emotional support was plentiful, the practical support was limited. There are many things I would do differently now that I had no idea about then. Thank you for providing practical advice. Getting organized with your divorce can also be an important stepping stone to getting financially organized – sadly finances are something often neglected when a marriage is in it’s death throes – and the faster you get your money back on track, the easier it is to build good habits while you build your new future.
lisa
November 15, 2014 at 3:05 pmYou make an important point, Vanessa when you say getting financially organized will make it easier to build good habits for your future. Awesome advice! Thanks for sharing your experience. I include a whole chapter on budgeting and finances during divorce in my book and I hope that helps women in similar situation like you describe.
Mi Muba
November 14, 2014 at 9:12 amHi Lisa
A very informative post with practical tips to stay organized and cool during divorce.
Many people remain mentally disturb during the whole process of getting separation and sometime fail to manage the things related this and eventually may lose many useful documents which they eventually badly need.
All the tips you mentioned are not very difficult nor takes much time. Just a little effort and alertness can make you avoid lot of subsequent problems which may arise if you don’t stay organized.
Thanks for sharing this useful post.
lisa
November 14, 2014 at 9:22 amYou make a great point Mi. Needing these documents in the future is a good possibility and it doesn’t take much time to stay on top of the paper trail. Thanks for stopping over and sharing with us 🙂
Itzarsalan
November 13, 2014 at 4:17 amHi Lisa,
This is my first visit on your site and its best way to solute the divorce in legal. Even though divorce is not good for all human. We have to live together with our life partner.
Thanks for sharing…
lisa
November 13, 2014 at 9:24 amThanks for stopping over, Itsarsalan.
Charlotte
November 12, 2014 at 6:52 pmI love you for your honesty and helpful tips, seriously. I have seen a lot of my friends go through divorce sadly, and I know they also were reluctant to open those envelopes. As painful as a learning experience as I’m sure this was, it’s wonderful that you can give out this kind of advice to women (and men) in need!
XOXO
lisa
November 12, 2014 at 8:04 pmThanks, Charlotte. It’s definitely a challenging experience but in the end, we always learn. It’s not all bad and I hope I’m helping others through it. Thanks for stopping over! 🙂
Mike
November 11, 2014 at 4:50 pmI absolutely love your organizational tips, Lisa! I’ve needed a lot of that recently (well, longer than that) but not due to a divorce. Anyhoo, thank you! I hope you are having a great day 🙂
lisa
November 11, 2014 at 4:52 pmThese tips will work for other situations, too. Thanks, Mike! Hope you’re doing well 🙂
Chrys Fey
November 11, 2014 at 2:39 pmStaying organized is key whenever you’re dealing with legal matters. I have a folder I use to house everything I needed for my legal matters, and I even have a folder on my computer to store the important documents I’ve scanned.
lisa
November 11, 2014 at 4:49 pmSmart girl, Chrys! It took me a while to figure it all out but I’m getting more organized now that I’ve been through it.
Bren Lee
November 11, 2014 at 12:54 pmHi Lisa,
First off, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. It saddens me when people get divorced, although I do understand that sometimes it is necessary. This time last year, I was getting a divorce and started the whole binders and envelope process of sorting. We never went through with the divorce but all the emotional trauma from dealing with it was just too much. It horrified me.
I’m passing this along as I know there are many people out there who could use these tips as well as some friends to talk to.
Thanks for sharing this Lisa.
lisa
November 11, 2014 at 4:48 pmThanks, Bren. It’s a difficult process, no doubt about it. I’m happy for you that things worked out. Thanks for sharing the piece!
Tamara
November 11, 2014 at 12:13 pmIt’s so funny (but not in a hah hah way) because the last time I used a binder for anything, it was getting married.
Hey, binders work.
I have several friends going through divorces and it’s amazing the difference between the organized ones and the more reluctant and thus disorganized ones.
lisa
November 11, 2014 at 12:32 pmGood, old fashioned binders come in handy. Well, it’s such an unpleasant thing to deal with I totally get the reluctance and feeling of not wanting to deal with it at all. Of course, we’re always better off to face the paper trail and get it off the desk! 😉 Thanks, Tamara for stopping over. Maybe this post will help your girlfriend not feel so overwhelmed.
Balroop Singh
November 11, 2014 at 11:12 amHi Lisa,
This article speaks eloquently, not just to those who may be going through hard times, fears and disappointments but to all those who don’t pay much attention to staying organised.
Step into a house and the first thing that catches your attention is how well organised it is! That gives you an insight into the mind and attitude of a person. Staying organised is a significant part of our lives whether it is our life, time or as insignificant as our desk, bedside or wardrobe.
I am glad you have learnt so much from an unpleasant phase of life and sharing it here is helping many people. Thanks! Have a blessed day!
lisa
November 11, 2014 at 12:29 pmYes, and having any kind of legal issues, it’s imperative to try to stay organized. It is overwhelming and I advise based on my own mistakes 🙂 If we’re organized we feel more in control and sometimes it only takes 15 minutes out of our day to feel better. Thanks, Balroop for sharing and commenting. Have a great week!