I’m over at DivorcedMoms venting about one of my pet peeves as a divorced woman. If you don’t like it when I complain, then you might want to take a look at my very optimistic Spring Kind of Mood. That post certainly shows my optimistic side :). But if like me you’ve gone through (or going) a divorce and have experienced smug married people making judgmental comments about us Divorcees, then you won’t want to miss this one.
During divorce we often feel just like Bridget Jones—staying in bed with a pint of ice cream, the covers pulled up over our head.
image source-Pinterest
Remember how Bridget Jones felt at the dinner party with all ‘smug marrieds’?
Smug Marrieds in Bridget Jones Diary
Well, I have felt the same vibe only not in such a funny way. Whether it’s been coming from my neighbor who’s celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary or if it’s coming from the teachers at my kids school…(back in the day)…it’s real and it’s not fair.
I was prompted to write this piece in reaction to many comments from long time married people professing the reasons people get divorced. The fact that they used words like ‘giving up’, ‘uncommitted’ and ‘selfish’ was discouraging. It confirmed what I had believed; that smug married people have no clue about what it takes to initiate or respond to a divorce.
We divorced people work hard and it takes tons of courage to change our lives…so come on over and join in the conversation there or leave a comment here…have you experienced judgment on your marital status from smug married people? Let’s dish!
In the meantime, I am truly in admiration for the happily married couples who are celebrating their anniversary…I might congratulate them like this…
Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!
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May 8, 2014 at 1:44 amAdmiring the hard work you put into your site and detailed
information you offer. It’s great to come across a
blog every once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed information.
Great read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.
Mel
May 2, 2014 at 7:10 pmLook at it this way … those smug married couples? They don’t know everything. The fact is, each of us is different and unique from one another so right off, there’s that balancing act that needs to be done to get the marriage really working and that’s a tough job!
lisa
May 2, 2014 at 10:35 pmAgreed, Mel! We’re all unique–that’s it. TKS for stopping by!
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com
April 21, 2014 at 9:31 amHi Lisa! I have been happily married for 37 years but I never, ever hope that I’m smug about it! I can’t even imagine how difficult divorce must be and admire you for deciding that it was the best thing you could (or needed) do for yourself. I think it is far, far better to be single that to be in a relationship that is not working for either partner. And I also firmly believe that when one door closes another always opens. ~Kathy
lisa
April 21, 2014 at 9:46 amHi Kathy, of course you wouldn’t be smug-EVER. You’re absolutely right about it’s better to be single than in a bad or poor relationship and sometimes that means D-ivorce (such an ugly word). Let’s put some pretty in it! Thanks for stopping by!
Kimberly
April 21, 2014 at 5:27 amI tried to comment over there but it wouldn’t let me with my facebook…
My parents who have been married for 35 years are now separated. I honestly think that they should have parted ways a long time ago but they worked and worked at it. I don’t know why that now they decided it was a good time. But I do agree. They did not throw it away. Sometimes it just doesn’t work.
I hate how people make assumptions.
lisa
April 21, 2014 at 5:38 amHi Kim! They’re going to fix up the site so it’s easier to comment over at DM. Thanks for reading the article. Well, your parents sure gave it all they got. I wonder if it’s harder for the adult children when parents separate so late in their marriage. I hope they find peace and can remain cordial 🙂 Thanks for sharing with us!
John Addison
April 21, 2014 at 1:47 amhi Lisa
Am very first time on your blog and got very impressed.
This article is so elegant that it can be very beneficial for frustrated people from divorced.
Thanks for sharing.
Jodi Aman
April 20, 2014 at 3:08 amI’m rereading Bridget Jones right now. I do that when I need a pick me up. She rocks the house. I did see that there was a new book out. I hope I am never smug…
lisa
April 20, 2014 at 7:40 amYes, Bridget Jones had me laughing out loud the first time I read it! You could never be smug, Jodi. Usually the truly happily married people are nonjudgmental or non-smugmental (hey, a new word) 😀
Chrys Fey
April 19, 2014 at 8:36 amGetting a divorce is hard. It’s worse than a simple break up. And any woman who goes through one is not only courageous, but a fighter.
lisa
April 19, 2014 at 9:28 amThank you Chrys! I was quite taken aback by the comments on the site from these long time married people. They think we’re lazy…but honestly it takes a ton of energy and determination to get through it. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Coleen parr
April 19, 2014 at 5:58 amVery true , it does take tremendous courage, much more courage than staying in a hopeless marriage,and being totally complacent and weak. That’s the easy thing to do , it lacks true courage. We who step away to better our lives for the better,are the true Victors here. We get it!!!
lisa
April 19, 2014 at 6:25 amAbsolutely, Coleen! It really is a courageous step to take. The opposite of staying in a loveless or stagnant relationship. Thanks you for your input!
My Inner Chick
April 17, 2014 at 4:09 pmThank you for the congratulations! haaa
I love that last photo!!!!!
Take that, Assholes!
lisa
April 17, 2014 at 4:43 pmHa! Aw, Kim you know I’m not talking about you! Isn’t that GIF great? 😀