I’m thinking there are two types of people in this world: those who mend and those who discard. Actually let me add a third type; those who want to mend but cannot. They take their mending to have it done by a pro (smart folks).
I used to be in the second and third category but as I’ve gotten a bit older, I mend more often. Since I was a child, I have almost ‘enjoyed’ sewing by hand. Almost. My grandma taught me how to thread the needle and how to make a few stitches. I used to watch her ‘darning’ my father’s socks when she came to stay with us. She was pretty good with a sewing needle. She did not have a sewing machine.
When I was nine-years-old I sewed the ribbons onto my ballet shoes. When I was eleven-years-old I sewed a tear in my pant leg. I probably tore my pants climbing trees and certainly would have been scolded for it. My sewing skills were laughable, of course, but they worked. They did the job.
Anyway, the other day I found myself mending all afternoon, until my fingers were very sore and my back ached. I was bent over the emergency task for four hours. It was an unexpected interruption in what would have been a pretty normal day.
My sofa that I bought twelve years ago, is a slipcovered shabby chic style. I love it. It’s very comfortable. However, the seat cushions (there are two large ones not three smaller sized) are down-filled. I don’t recommend this if you’re in the market for a new sofa!
The other day, I was straightening up the couch and when I removed the cover blanket I had placed on the seat, the dark-grey dye had transferred onto the off-white cushions. It looked awful. So, I had no choice but to remove the slipcovers promptly and throw them in the washing machine. This is something I had been avoiding because I knew there would be a feather leakage. You see, the seat cushions have been ripping apart for a few years now and when I called the store (last year) where I purchased it from, they gave me a ridiculous quote to either recover them, or to replace the feathers with foam. It was going to be cheaper to buy a new couch.
It seemed a shame to toss a perfectly well-structured sofa just because the seat cushions need repair. I made no decision and just kept on living like there wasn’t an issue. Out of sight (inside slipcovers), out of mind does not work, as we all have learned at one time or another.
So when I removed the slipcovers, I found the cushions in far worse shape than before. They were literally bleeding feathers from tears that had grown and multiplied. Consequently, the feathers were everywhere! On my clothes, in my hair, on the coffee table, under the couch and mostly, it looked like a flock of ducks had died on my sofa. It was a complete feather EXPLOSION!
Oh my God, what a mess. It was an emergency. I had to MEND. I had no choice.
After throwing slipcovers in the washing machine, I grabbed my needle and the strongest thread I could find. Guys, I threaded the needle about a dozen times over the course of that afternoon. My fingers were burning, and my back ached before I barely began the second cushion. I only stopped to put the slip covers in the dryer. I had no lunch, no coffee, just a sip of water in between threading the needle.
I finally had to take a break. I lied down on my yoga mat and tended to my back ache. I rested for ten minutes and then looked at the clock, 3:45 pm. I was determined to finish this task before dinner.
I got up and began to finish the last of the thread on the needle. Before I cut and rethreaded, I asked my late grandmother for help. I said “Please help me with this, grandma”, out loud to my silent apartment. Well, wouldn’t you know that my fingers did not burn, I threaded the needle three more times, on the first attempt with each one. My back didn’t bother me and my hand made steady, efficient stitches and quickly. I finished the job in about 40 minutes. Thank you, Grandma.
When I was almost finished the last of the mending, my husband walked in. He is a wise man. He did not say, “what are you doing?” He did not say, “What a mess!” He did not say, “Are you sure that’s going to work?” If he had said any of these things I likely would have strangled him, and I think he knew that.
He simply said, “What’s up?” and carried on to the washroom, as if my standing ankle deep in feathers with a sofa torn up was normal.
“Feathers!” I shouted.
Then I said, “The next couch I buy will be leather. No more feathers!”
I asked him to give me a hand with getting the vacuum out and helping me put the mended cushions back in the clean, freshly laundered slip covers. Asking for help has never been my strong suit. I don’t know why I have been afraid to ask for help when I’m over my head (in feathers or whatever else). But if grandma could help, my husband certainly could!
As a child I was embarrassed with my mending. The crooked, childish stitches were criticized by others. So I stopped. But what I’ve learned as an adult, is that whether it’s your stitches, gluing or however you fix your things, you give them new life and put your own personal mark on them. Your mending adds a ‘patina’ to your things that make them original, one of a kind.
For example, I doubt anyone has down sofa cushions that have been chain stitched with red thread. My cushions now look like the emergency they endured. I even added a scrap of fabric to one to help with the tight seam. It looks like a patchwork. I wish I had taken a photo of them, to share with you but I don’t dare take them out of the covers now. Let sleeping feathers lie, I say.
Hopefully I’ve bought a few more years out of the cushions and the sofa itself, which didn’t deserve to go to the landfill.
You know it’s ironic that just a week ago a poem came to me out of the blue. What was it about? MENDING. I titled it “I’m Mending Today”. It’s still in rough format but here’s one stanza to give you an idea:
“…Borrowed faith and
Treasured memories
Needle and thread
make it all brand new…”
I’ll share the whole poem when it’s ready. I just find that kind of funny since the emergency mending job interrupted my whole day and turned out to be a rather difficult task. There are some things that no amount of mending will help but then there are some that deserve your time and sweat to give it new life. Indeed, this theory could apply to other areas of life, too.
So, are you a mender? Do you send out for a pro or throw out what is broken?
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Tamara
May 15, 2022 at 6:53 amThank you, Grandma, indeed! I’m not sure which one I am. I think I am a mender, and sometimes more like I want to be, but cannot. Then I ask for help.
lisa
May 17, 2022 at 9:24 amYES 🙂 You are very wise, Tamara. I need to get better at asking for help…haha. I am getting there. Here’s to mending what needs to be fixed within our limits.
DGKaye
May 8, 2022 at 5:20 pmKudos to you girl. I’d have tossed that couch right out lol. And I’m allergic to feathers.
I don’t profess to be a sewing person, buttons yes and hems by hand, that’s all I got out of high school home-ec lol. <3
lisa
May 8, 2022 at 5:29 pmLOL, Deb. Maybe that’s exactly what I should have done! I was sneezing with every stitch and i’m not allergic 😛 Same here, Deb. I didn’t have the paitence for sewing in Junior High School when I had to take the class (I probably got a C-). The cooking and baking in Home ec was fine though. I quite enjoyed that.
LA CONTESSA
May 6, 2022 at 8:03 amTHIS COULD NOT HAVE COME AT A BETTER TIME!I NEED TO MEND THE CUSHIONS OUTSIDE AS THE SQUIRRELS LOVE TO MAKE NESTS WITH THE STUFFING!FIRST THOUGHT IS TO TOSS!BUT IT WILL JUST HAPPENED AGAIN……IS THERE SQUIRREL PROOF MATERIAL FOR OUTSIDE?
MY HUSBAND TOLD ME TO MEND THEM!WELL THAT WILL LOOK DREADFUL BUT THAT IS THE CONCLUSION I HAVE TO GO WITH AS THIS OUTDOOR FURNITURE COSTS A SMALL FORTUNE AND I THINK THIS IS YEAR 4.THE RIPPING APART STARTED IN YEAR TWO AND I AM LIVING WITH A BLUE TOWEL OVER THE CUSHION WHICH JUST SLOWS THEM DOWN!
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION I AM A TOSSER……….BUT I MUST CHANGE!
XXX
lisa
May 6, 2022 at 12:06 pmWhat a nuisance those little critters can be! Well, think of it as putting your stamp on the cushions. They will be uniquely LA CONTESSA’S. Isn’t it kind of annoying that they can tear apart so easily? Two years? Shouldn’t happen. I had already stitched small tear in each cushion a few years ago and for what I paid for this sofa, I can’t believe how soon I was having issues. Plus, it’s from a reputable furniture store. SIGH. Sometimes I toss, too. There is a line that has to be drawn on whether the ‘thing’ is worth saving. xxx
Marie Kléber
May 6, 2022 at 2:11 amWell done Lisa! What a great job you’ve done!
I mend small things you kown cause I don’t like to through out what can be used again. And when I start something I am a bit like you I don’t want to stop before it’s finished and most of the time I don’t ask for help…a mistake!
For bigger things, then I ask pros to do the job!!
lisa
May 6, 2022 at 12:03 pmThank you, Marie 🙂 Let’s hope they hold up for a few more years. Mending small things is very satisfying. I know, me too. I’m learning to ask for help the moment I need it. People can’t read our minds, even when we’re ankle deep in feathers, LOL. You are smart to send out the big things and that’s what I will do from now on.
Jeff
May 5, 2022 at 1:33 pmI’m a mender, but only when in the wilderness. Otherwise, I find someone else. That said, some of the strongest thread you can find is dental floss. I’ve sewn boots and packs up with the stuff!
lisa
May 5, 2022 at 5:19 pmHi Jeff, well that’s a cool skill. That would’ve been a great solution! Ack. 🙂
LA CONTESSA
May 6, 2022 at 8:04 amPERFECT FOR MY NEED!
THANK YOU!
Balroop Singh
May 5, 2022 at 9:36 amHi Lisa, mending is not a pleasant job but you seem to have done it wonderfully! I would have never taken such an elaborate work, as it is back-breaking and you’ve described it so. I admire your determination and spirit. 😊 I can mend little things but not a couch!!
lisa
May 5, 2022 at 10:35 amThank you, Balroop. I did my best but of course, it may come apart again eventually 🙂 i was definitely determined but also had little choice if I wanted to keep my sofa in working order (UGH). My own fault for not dealing with it earlier. Haha! I guess I can now say I mended a couch–no small feat.
Ellen Shook
May 4, 2022 at 10:14 amI really enjoyed this post as it hit home. I have been sewing since I was a small child. My mother and most of the women in her family sewed, out of necessity. I have discovered that I quite like hand-sewing more than I used to, which is ironic, now that my hands are getting so arthritic which makes it more difficult. I have been, during this lovely pandemic, pulling out old curtains and slipcovers I made years ago, using them to make new slips, bedskirts, pillows, etc. The fabric is much better quality in many cases, and fabric is in short supply at the moment anyway. It has all come back in style, being pretty colors and patterns, so it’s a win win. I think there is something quite satisfying about mending and patching and piecing and being able to make something pretty and/or functional from something that was just lying there all along, waiting to be put to use again. On the practical side, when you need to pull off your covers to wash them again, you can rewrap the cushions with a heavy muslin to keep the feathers in with fairly minimal sewing before you put the slips back on.
lisa
May 5, 2022 at 5:21 pmThank you, Ellen. I’m glad this resonated with you. Well I’ve seen on Instagram what you can do with fabric! You are incredibly talented!
This: “I think there is something quite satisfying about mending and patching and piecing and being able to make something pretty and/or functional from something that was just lying there all along…” YES so true!
You’re right that covering the cushions with a muslin would work. I should get some fabric for them now so when my emergency hand stitching falls apart (and it will eventually 😆) I’ll be ready with machine sewn covers . It was quite funny in hindsight as I actually gathered up handfuls of feathers off the couch and stuffed them back inside. Always nice to hear from you, Ellen!