Do you ever have one of those days, you wish you could go straight back to bed?  Just call it a day when it’s barely begun?  I sure have.  I’ve had many a dark day during my divorce. 

One of the biggest things that helped me cope was spending a little time everyday doing something I loved.  Exercise has always been a big part of my life and it sure saved me during the stressful times.  I felt better not only physically but mentally after a long walk or a short run. Notice I said ‘short’ run because I’m not one to train for marathons or pound the pavement for hours.  I know some people who do and I guess they get that ‘runner’s high’ that keeps them going.  I can’t quite make it there. 

Now I get  a ‘power walk high’…a sign I’m getting old. In the last year I’ve discovered yoga.

Such a pretty picture. Image source: Pinterest

Social Media Addiction

I think I’ve become slightly addicted.  When I’m not feeding my social media addiction, I’m feeding my yoga addiction.  I have to say the yoga addiction is much healthier.  It’s  the perfect antidote to hours spent on the computer writing and god knows what else I’m doing…pinterest, facebook, google plus… see? 

I was serious when I said addiction.

Social media is a time vampire but it’s also pretty fun.  The only problem is at the end of it, what have we accomplished?  I can’t get the ‘high’ or satisfaction from social media like I can from exercise or my other favorite hobbies.

Hobby

A hobby is a regular activity done for pleasure – typically during leisure – e.g., collecting themed items and objects, engaging in creative and artistic pursuits, playing sports. Continual participation in a hobby can provide substantial skill and knowledge about it.

Anyone who does an activity solely for fun is called an ‘amateur’ (from French for “lover of”) or ‘hobbyist’; whereas anyone who does an activity for a reward is a ‘professional’. -wiki

Key words: FUN, PLEASURE, ARTISTIC, PARTICIPATION, LOVER OF…

Besides physical exercise, I have a few other things I like to do to relieve stress, make my heart sing and generally just put me in a good mood. 

I love to paint

my painting of my daughter

I paint people, faces, landscapes, abstracts, still life…you name it, I’ve tried it.  Now, I didn’t say I was any good at it.  I’ll admit I have a few paintings I’m proud of but I have many more that are incomplete or didn’t turn out the way I had planned.  What I’ve finally learned though, is it just doesn’t matter. 

What I get at the end of the process isn’t as important as the process itself. 

Does it sound like I’m going for a metaphor here?  Hey, I just figured this out not long ago.  What you get at the end doesn’t necessarily represent what you get in the beginning and middle…

I used to paint and expect perfection from myself.  I used to hope my canvas would look like something hanging at the Met.  Imagine my dismay.

I was missing the point.

Hobbies are supposed to bring us an amount of joy not personify our faults. See key words above, FUN, PLEASURE etc.  Letting go of the end result and being in the ‘hobby’ moment can really ease our stress levels.  Our brains can relax into it without judgment of our skill or self critical thoughts.

Without the criticism, we are free to just be…just do it…just create! The perfect antidote to the stress of divorce or any other kind for that matter.

What’s your hobby?  What do you love but have abandoned or forgotten?  If you were to set aside some time to try again, how would it heal you?

Is it color, beads, fabric, sewing, hiking, nature, baking, collecting, quilting…what are you a LOVER of?

Whatever it is, try it again minus the expectations.  See how it heals your heart, builds your confidence and makes you smile.  You don’t have to be good at it or perfect.  Perfect is the enemy of finding  joy in your hobby.  Rediscover the power of play and you will reap the healing properties.

Do what makes you happy!

Thank you for sharing.