image source rodeo.net
Are you inked? If not, are you thinking about getting a tattoo? Are these thoughts connected to an event in your life such as divorce, marriage, death, love?
It’s human nature to want to mark an event with a celebration or a ceremony and sometimes with INK.
Speaking of ceremonies, I’ve been hearing much ado about divorce parties. It’s a positive take on what is normally perceived as a negative event in our lives— making lemonade, if you will. Divorce showers are even a thing.
If so, perhaps tattoo parties will be the new way to celebrate.
When I watch some of the ink reality shows I take notice of the various reasons people have for getting inked and their personal design choice. A couple get engaged for example, and they decide to get matching tattoos. I know! It has ‘regret’ written all over it but who are we to judge the young and in love?
Note to self: Tattoos are more permanent than most marriages.
image source; Pinterest
I know a young woman who decided to get her first tattoo after her break up from her boyfriend. It’s a bird symbolizing freedom (I suppose). I wonder though, isn’t that putting a permanent memory on that particular break up?
If it was me, I would look down at that tattoo and think of that boy who broke my heart. That isn’t something I want stamped on my skin. But that’s just me, an old fashioned girl.
source; rodeo.net
As well, I’ve seen many people who tattoo the initials or a birth date to remind them of their loved one who now has passed on. I think that’s very touching and very personal. But does it make us sad or happy to look and see that reminder at any given moment?
Twenty years from now I’m not sure I would want an inked memory of my state of mind during divorce. It might trigger sad memories.
Also, because we go through emotional highs and lows during divorce it might be risky to make a permanent decision like getting a tattoo. Two years from now we might wonder why we did that. I know for me, I’ll go shopping at the change of season and buy myself a cute dress or shoes. One month later I’ll wonder what I was thinking. Why? I decide I don’t care for the color or the fit….I probably got sucked into buying it because it was on sale. Yes, I’m a sucker for a sale and often regret the purchase. Lucky for me tattoos don’t go on sale or I would have more than a few by now.
Maybe it’s just me, but I probably wouldn’t love a tattoo for life and would end up having it removed. This has caused me to hesitate on such a big decision. First, deciding ‘if’ getting one is right for me and then deciding ‘what’ it should be. Ultimately, if I’m in a happy state of mind and getting a tattoo for the right reasons, I believe, I’m less likely to regret it.
Don’t get me wrong, tattoos can look quite sexy on young and beautiful bodies. Inevitably though, time changes us. It changes our bodies and our taste.
I guess I’ll stick to the Divorce shower idea…
Maybe a symbol of freedom or your divorce date in Roman Numerals…not sure what people are doing on this subject but I would love to hear more from you.
Were you already inked before you were married? If so, did you ever have a tattoo removed because it reminded you of your ex? Hit the comments and weigh in.
(images all sourced on Pinterest)
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Jenjemo
March 4, 2019 at 7:33 pmI think it’s rediculous. My ex just got our divorce date tatted on his forearm.
Unknowingly.. He was cheating on me with random married women for three years and I caught him with some ugly hag he is now committed too🤣😉She tried to ruin my life by pressing charges on me for texting my then husband how I felt about her and what I think should happen to her. It was called intimidating a witness .
He shocked me , he kicked me when I was down and he turned my world upside down along with my three little girls.
Now my girls are reminded of the worst time of their lives everytime they see him.
It’s disgusting and it is telling that he had no respect and does not still for our past our present and most of all my children see he has no respect for the woman who raises them and brought them into this world.
It is disgusting to even think that this is a good idea.
Christine Carter
June 15, 2017 at 4:08 amI have no tatoos, and I am planning on getting one for my 50th this summer! 🙂 It won’t mark an event, just a reflection of my soul perhaps…
I can’t imagine getting one to mark the end of a marriage or relationship- I’d hate to have the memory drawn on me for a lifetime. I’m with you on that, Lisa!
Mine will be small, but powerful for me. I can’t WAIT! I’m still not sure where I’ll put it… somewhere on my body that doesn’t sag, droop, or drop. LOL
Melina
June 2, 2017 at 5:11 amthis is hilarious and such a good idea 😀 i am inked, i have 2 small tattoos and want to get a third now <3 xx
lisa
June 2, 2017 at 11:50 amInteresting. I think small is good when it comes to tatts. Just me though.
Jeri
May 30, 2017 at 9:17 pmMy “resilient” tattoo was done post-divorce, and it stood for bounding back from the abandonment and from growing up with a bipolar mother. It will also stand for battling cancer as well. It’s the words that most fits. As for him, he got some corny looking trout tattoo when he was in Thailand.
lisa
May 31, 2017 at 10:09 amI like that you call it a ‘resilient’ tattoo. I would love to hear the words, Jeri. You have me curious. It sounds amazing! Trout, huh?
Jeri
May 31, 2017 at 10:33 amIt’s actually just the word resilient tattooed on my upper back in an old typewriter font.
lisa
May 31, 2017 at 12:37 pmAhhhh, I get it now. That is wonderful. I love that it’s in typewriter font. Very fitting for you.
Marie Kléber
May 29, 2017 at 5:42 amI’ve been asking myself this question for the past 2 years maybe Lisa – not that I would like to have a tattoo to remember my divorce, but to remember that I made it to the other side, the bright one. I was thinking maybe a mantra or a poetry line I wrote, that describes me so well. Not sure I’ll make it till the tattoo shop – I know tattoos are “for life” and this gets me think again and again – but I do like the idea.
Have a lovely day and thanks for sharing your view on the subject. As for the divorce party, I’m all for it!
lisa
May 29, 2017 at 1:39 pmI’m in the thinking phase, too Marie. probably will still think on it for a while. I like the idea of you marking your ‘making it’ or surviving…YES. I hope you do it and a quote from your writing sounds perfect.
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
May 26, 2017 at 9:04 pmI have five tattoos and I love them so much! Yes, they each represent something special my life—-mostly the mantras I try to live by. And of course, lots of bird symbols because those are especially important to me. My husband is not a fan of tattoos, but believe it or not, he surprised me and had a matching one made on his arm like mine when we were going through a rough time with my extended family. I love the tattoo—I’ve been staring at it for over a year now and it always reminds me to stay strong. Funny thing—-my two daughters have several tattoos as well but, neither one of my sons do. But I get it—-not everyone is a fan of them. It is, after all, permanent!
lisa
May 29, 2017 at 1:37 pmWow, Marcia your tattoos sound fascinating. I like that you have inspirational messages where you can read them. That’s pretty cool that your Hubs got a matching tattoo. Mine isn’t a fan of ink either 🙂 What used to be strictly a masculine practice (historically) has become equally or more feminine.
Swaloven
May 26, 2017 at 1:13 pmHey Lisa
it’s very heart touching post, i am really appreciate your work, Thank you for sharing these type of information
but i want to know Lisa, for a woman which place is best for Tattoo after divorce or break up ?
i am waiting your reply
Thank you
lisa
May 29, 2017 at 1:35 pmWell, not sure that would be my call. Some people like visible to their eye and others prefer more private places.
Tamara
May 26, 2017 at 9:25 amI really thought I had commented on this!
I would probably never get inked for anything, but I do like it on other people. My friend just got a small tattoo for all the initials of her three kids – now grown.
lisa
May 29, 2017 at 1:34 pmHi Tamara, I’m in your camp but bordering on considering getting inked (a tiny one)…I tend to like tats on other people but unsure whether I could pull it off or be comfortable with it 4ever. Your friend’s tattoo sounds nice!
Cori Ramos
May 25, 2017 at 2:17 pmHey Lisa,
I like the idea of getting inked to celebrate a divorce. It’s symbollic because it marks a new beginning. I would definitely get one. 🙂
Great post Lisa! Hope you’re having a great week. 🙂
Cori
lisa
May 25, 2017 at 3:44 pmHi Cori, sounds like you’re in the majority here. New beginnings are good.
Balroop Singh
May 24, 2017 at 7:19 pmPersonally I am no fan of tattoos and would never go in for one…for any good or bad reason! This post reminds me of a wonderful story ‘The Background’ by Saki ( H.H.Munro) in which the protagonist gets his back tattooed with a glowing representation of ‘the fall of Icarus’ and was treated like a rare piece of art…you can read more here: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/Bac.shtml
lisa
May 25, 2017 at 6:24 amYou are one of a rare few, these days Balroop. Interesting. Thanks for sharing that link with the story. Appreciate the share 🙂
Charlotte
May 24, 2017 at 1:18 pmInteresting topic, Lisa! I love love love ink. I am just fascinated by tattoos, the stories they tell, where people were (emotionally/physically) at the time they were inked. Bryan has a sleeve (on one arm, and one leg) and I always find myself reading the ink. I’m sure there are some tattoos that he likes more than others, but he always told me he doesn’t regret a single one, because they remind him of that time in his life.
I get that.
I only have two little ones, but the ideas came to me at different times, and they are both “hopeful” symbols–one is a semicolon tattoo on my wrist; the other a saying my dad used to say and one I remember when times get tough (“to thine own self be true”).
Kind of like the divorce selfie idea, but a matching tattoo with a lover? Big no-no 🙂 *unless it’s of an animal; Bryan and I have often thought about a tattoo for our Buster boy 🙂
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 6:36 pmThey certainly tell stories. I like a tattoo symbol as well. Yours sound interesting and so positive. Your lover’s name, initials…anything like that could be regrettable but as Bren said, she had hers covered over.
Shantala
May 24, 2017 at 11:38 amWell I would never consider getting a tattoo, no matter what the occasion, but that’s mostly because I have a very low pain tolerance.
I would rather cherish the happy moments through photographs and memories. And would certainly not keep any reminder of the sad ones. Life’s too short for that.
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 6:32 pmPoints well taken, Shantala. I think I would be afraid of the pain as well 🙂
Liv
May 24, 2017 at 11:12 amNope. I’ve got enough scars to remember him by. I’d rather focus on the two things we did right, my children.
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 6:30 pmIndeed. This is exactly what I would worry about, if rushing into a divorce tattoo.
Candice
May 24, 2017 at 10:11 amI got a tattoo during my divorce that says “This too shall pass”. It is something my mom has always said and stuck with me when I was going through a very difficult time. It’s on my wrist so whenever I look down I see it and it reassures me that the bad times don’t last forever. Last year, three years after my divorce, I got a tattoo of a bird to symbolize my freedom. My tattoos don’t make me think of the heart ache I endured, but the journey that I took to get to the better place that I am at today.
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:18 amAh, that is perfect, Candice! That message applies to so many of life experiences. I love the idea of a symbol of freedom. Good choice. I also think because you waited to get it well after the divorce was finalized put you in the right frame of mind. Thanks for stopping by and sharing here :))
Lecy | A Simpler Grace
May 23, 2017 at 6:33 pmI love the idea of getting ink to celebrate a divorce. I wouldn’t ever get a name, but I think a symbol or other design is cool. I’ve always said that if I got married again, my spouse and I would get tattoos on our ring fingers because the next time will be forever. 🙂
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:16 amI like symbols, too. The symbol of freedom seems to be a popular divorce tat. That’s a sweet idea (the ring tattoos).
Jessica Bradshaw (@loveyoumoretoo)
May 23, 2017 at 6:28 pmI’m not inked but my husband is and I adore them. I think they are beautiful. I love the idea of a divorce tat. It’s still a big part of your life. Great post!
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:14 amInteresting, Jessica. You don’t have any tattoos but Hubby does. I think tattoos really suit men and give them a ‘look’. Divorce is a big event and certainly worthy of ink. 🙂
ShootingStarsMag
May 23, 2017 at 6:12 pmI’m not married and I think I have too big a fear to get a tattoo, but yeah, I would never get a significant other’s name or anything like that. I like people that get something to represent children though!
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:13 amMe, too! Not a fan of the needle. My kids both have several and I’m in awe of their courage and pain tolerance. I walked in a tattoo salon with them recently, and just the smell kind of made me queasy.
Akaleistar
May 23, 2017 at 4:04 pmI’ve thought about getting a tattoo, but I’m not sure there’s a design I want to have on my skin for the rest of my life…
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:11 amThat’s exactly how I feel. I’m getting closer to making a decision but if I get one it will be very small.
Chrys Fey
May 23, 2017 at 2:12 pmI am inked, but I would never get a tattoo for a marriage or a divorce. For my children, yes. For a loved one who has passed on, yes.
I LOVE the idea of a Divorce Shower! I think it would be much more than a bridal shower. 😉
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:11 amHi Chrys, Interesting…wise, I think. Would you tattoo your child’s birth date? Yes, a divorce shower is just the thing for a divorcee! Fun!
Kim
May 23, 2017 at 12:33 pmI am one of the few tattoo free friends in my circle. And not by choice. I have always wanted one and still do. But now being on blood thinners have kind of held me back for now. I do have one in mind to honor my dad who passed in 2012. And when David and I were dating, way back in highschool, he asked me if I would ever put his name on my body. I said no, but you know, honestly, now I think I would. For me, not for him. He has been such a rock in my life that I know even if God forbid we were to get divorced, I would never not love the man. I don’t think I would get one to celebrate a divorce though. I don’t think anyways LOL
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:09 amHi Kim, wow this is beautiful; “He has been such a rock in my life that I know even if God forbid we were to get divorced, I would never not love the man.” So, no regrets. As for the blood thinners, I’m not 100% sure, but I think the tattoo salons won’t tattoo if you’re on those. Hopefully in the near future. The one for your Dad sounds like a lovely tribute.
Bren Pace
May 23, 2017 at 10:08 amHey Lisa!
When I got married, in 2004, I got an anklet tattoo with his name in it. 2 weeks ago when I decided that yes, I want to divorce this man, I went and got the tattoo covered. In one of my FB divorce groups, some of the women were talking about this same thing. I say, Go For It! It may not feel like a celebration at this time, but it is because better things are coming.
Great post, gf!
lisa
May 24, 2017 at 11:07 amHi Bren, I imagine that felt liberating to have that covered over. You’ve made a big decision in deciding to divorce but I’m sure based on the details, you will be soooo much happier in the long run. I’m here as the rest of the group here if you need any moral support and if you have any questions. Thanks for sharing!