image source pinterest
This is not a political post. You’ll notice it is also not tagged under ‘dream guys’. Let’s begin…
Does your ex have anything in common with Donald? It’s a good question. With all the media attention being heaped on Donald, we can’t help but analyze his personality (disorder). Maybe he’s just self centered…who knows for sure. Whatever way you want to look at it, he has several of the signs of a narcissistic personality disorder therefore, he makes a great comparison to what many women claim: Their ex is a narcissist. Let’s take a look at some examples. I’m going to ask you questions and you can answer yes or no…
1. Does your ex talk out of both sides of his mouth?
He tells you one thing and turns around and tells the children or whomever (fill in the blank here) a completely different story.
2. Does your ex love to tell stories but the stories are always about him?
They don’t like to hear anyone else’s stories. They even get envious if someone else is getting the spotlight.
3. Does your ex make grandiose claims, that upon fact checking, have no basis?
This is referred to as ‘magical thinking’ where the narc takes a story or some history and embellishes it to the point of falsification. The aim is to aggrandize the story and put him in a positive light. Trump’s University helped so many gain an education—truth is, his university scheme took money from innocent people without providing a legitimate service.
4. Does he say he is going to do something but rarely (if ever) follows through?
Promises, promises. Narcs are famous for making promises to get something in return. In Donald’s case he will promise the moon for your vote and we know how that turns out. It’s still in the sky…
5. Does he talk down to you because naturally, he’s smarter than you?
His ideas, quotes and sayings are going to go down in history and by the way? Everyone else is ‘stupid’ except he loves uneducated people.
6. Does he blame you for the divorce everything?
Narcissists are not capable of apologizing for anything. Donald has not apologized for anything.They will find any excuse to blame someone else for whatever has gone wrong.
7. Is he more concerned about his reputation than his own children?
Above all else, his reputation will come first before the needs of his children. If someone in his family were to jeopardize his reputation, there would be a price to pay.
8. Does he view his children as not only a reflection of himself but an extension as well?
It’s interesting to me how Donald has used his family members to further his campaign. I don’t believe there has been a President who has done this to his level. Some people say this is an example of what a great father he is. I say, it is textbook Narcissism. Every child must have a use to him, otherwise he will easily discard them.
9. Does he feel the need to control the outcome of everything?
Narcissists take ‘control freak’ to a whole new level. This is one area where Donald surprises me. He strays from the text book here in that, he has no control over the votes. I guess the attention is worth the risk.
10. Do you have to resort to a ‘narc decoder’ to understand the meaning behind his words?
When he says ‘I can’t talk to you anymore’ what he really means is ‘you’re not listening to my lies anymore so I’m done with you’. Else, when he says ‘You’ve changed.’ what he really means is ‘I’m frustrated with you because I can’t manipulate you anymore.’ His jokes are often scathing sarcasm.
11. Last, does he want to build a wall? That wall is likely between you and your children or you and your family…or any variation thereof.
If you answered yes to 2 of these then you’ve been Trumped.
If you answered yest to 3-5 of these questions you’ve been Trumpetized.
If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions you’ve been Trumplighted.
So, what are you going to do about it? First, you’re going to stop being too nice then you’re going to set strong boundaries (not the same as a wall), and you’re going to use these tips for dealing with a narcissist.
Mostly, you have to build your self confidence because without that, you will fall prey repeatedly to the Donald effect.
I was going to add more of his actual quotes but decided against it. I don’t need to print his ugly words to prove a point. If you would like to review some of his infamous quotes, read the Marie Claire article Donald Trump: The Man Behind The Mouth
Have you ever been Trupetized or Trumplighted by your ex (or anyone else)?
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leadership
August 29, 2016 at 10:09 pmOh you are so right about that. Narcicist are people with a grandious sense of self importance, shows arrogant behaviors. And Donald is definitely one of them. Great Read!
Marie kléber
August 24, 2016 at 5:40 amWell done on this post Lisa!
I read the questions with great interest and I can say that my ex and Donald have the same genes!
Good for me I left him and I don’t let him mess up with me (or my kid). It took me time to find this balance.
Thinking of all Americans trapped in this crazy situation…
xoxo
lisa
August 24, 2016 at 1:52 pmHaha—-:P At the risk of offending Trumpsters, he was just too perfect an example to pass up.Good for you, Marie. So glad you’ve found that balance. It definitely takes time.
Kerri
August 19, 2016 at 4:34 pmUnfortunately the USA’s current president is also a narcissist. His victory speech contained something on the lines of the oceans rise will slow and the planet will heal because he was elected amongst many other claims he has made. Let’s be careful of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Hillary Clinton seems to be quite a narcissist also. They just promise all the goodies and say things like they will make all women have equal paying jobs. Really?
I see zero difference. At least with Donald Trump it’s obvious. I know this is not a political blog that’s not my point of bringing them up its just that a narcissist doesn’t neccessarily have to act like Donald Trump. There are very good fakers too so don’t be fooled. (And btw, Obama and hillarys “wall” is between blacks and whites, women and men, rich and poor. They love the walls!) conquer and divide! Thats my ex’s goal too so it’s so obvious!
lisa
August 20, 2016 at 10:08 amHi Kerri, I don’t want to get into politics but if President Obama is a narcissist then he’s low on the scale. He has empathy. That’s something you don’t usually see in a narcissist. Trump is much higher up on the scale, say an 8 or 9/10. Just my observation. I’m not a doctor though so not for me to determine 😉 I think there have been many past Presidents who were also Narcissistic. Thanks for sharing here, Kerri!
Kerri
August 22, 2016 at 5:46 pmHe “seems” to have empathy in my opinion. My ex spouts off on Facebook like father of the year! And people buy it. It’s just lies and people believe it because he puts on the good face and they don’t really know him. Anyone who knows him (we grew up in the same town so a lot of people see the true ex that I know also) realize what a facade the whole thing is. Unfortunately I see a lot of the same traits in our president and lying to your family or friends for personal gain bugs me and is absolutely narcissistic! And he does that to the country. I’m not a doctor either lol, I get what your saying. It just drives me crazy when someone can just lie straight up with the main goal being to divide people and I think Obama does that to the country. Is he in Louisana right now? People need help. No. In his defense I agree that a lot of our presidents were probably narcissist. It kinda comes with the job. But people believe what “sounds” good when in reality it will hurt people more to buy into.
There’s my little rant lol!
Michelle
August 12, 2016 at 6:29 amTHIS is perfection!
lisa
August 13, 2016 at 9:43 am😛 Right?
Vishnu
August 11, 2016 at 11:14 pmhahahha completely funny. totally brilliant.
i think the deeper question i have is why are we gravitating towards this man/woman in our lives? even when we know all these things about him, what’s it in us that’s drawn to that? What are the issues within us that makes a character like this so attractive.
Or does the superficiality of the charm and bravado hide all these things you bring out Lisa?
lisa
August 13, 2016 at 9:51 amThanks, Vishnu 🙂 I think we gravitate toward these types when we haven’t had the experience to understand the consequences. Once we learn, we spot the red flags and are not fooled. Think of Trump when he was the star of his reality show…he was magnetic in how decisive he was. He was in his element, ‘mentoring’ entrepreneurs and I think that showed him at his best (even at that he could be a heartless a**). My point is, people are drawn to his power but it won’t take long for that attraction to wear off and see what’s behind the business mask. Yes, the charm if it is turned to you, can certainly hide some of these dark qualities.
Cori Ramos
August 9, 2016 at 1:52 pmHi Lisa,
First, I have to say I love the pic! Now that I read this, my ex does have some of Trump’s characteristics – thank goodness he’s an ex! 🙂
As soon as I read #6 I was like bam – there it is. 🙂
Great post Lisa! Have a great rest of the week!
Cori
lisa
August 9, 2016 at 5:09 pmHi Cori, yes that pic I found on Pinterest and when I went back to find out who created it, I couldn’t find it anywhere. #6—classic sign. Have a great week!
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
August 8, 2016 at 8:01 pmDefinitely time to run far, far away from any man in a relationship who has Trump’s qualities!
lisa
August 9, 2016 at 5:05 pmHaha—exactly, Marcia! <3
Charlotte Klein
August 5, 2016 at 12:32 pmIt’s scary and sad but absolutely–I definitely dated men like that in my past. Thank god they are in my past. I can’t take listening to this man for five minutes, what the hell was I ever thinking?! My ex used to make every conversation about him, and then money, and then about him again. What a turnoff.
Thanks for sharing 🙂 Always love the unique spin/perspective you put on things!
lisa
August 6, 2016 at 9:48 amWell, they can be very charming and fun…but that changes. That is a turnoff for sure. Glad you ditched that guy!
Jane Thrive
August 1, 2016 at 12:05 pmOh, spot on, Lisa! Especially the blaming me for everything, along with the children being an extension of himself…as well as clinging to his reputation. It’s all about the face saving. Grrrr.
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you! I’m back to the blogosphere now that we’re home from our vacay. 🙂 Missed you while I was away!
lisa
August 6, 2016 at 9:46 amWe hit all the points here 🙂 Sounds like your ex could run for president? Grrr is right. Nice to have you back. Missed you, too!
Eli@CoachDaddy
July 31, 2016 at 7:03 pmThe tough part is, Lisa, that narcs often have incredible camo. Before you see it, it’s often too late.
lisa
August 1, 2016 at 6:32 amYes, that’s it Eli—camo. Good point!
Tamara
July 31, 2016 at 7:07 amI’m certain I have at least one ex like this, but probably not as bad! Luckily..
lisa
July 31, 2016 at 4:38 pmThat’s good, Tamara…you don’t need an ex like Donald—LOL
Harleena Singh
July 31, 2016 at 7:04 amHi Lisa,
Good to be back over to your blog after a while – was off on a blogging break 🙂
Loved this one and the way it brought a smile to all our faces. We don’t know Donald as such, but yes, we do read about what’s going on around! Thankfully, never had a person to compare!!
Thanks for sharing, enjoy your weekend 🙂
lisa
July 31, 2016 at 4:38 pmHi Harleena, nice to see you! Glad this made you smile. It was supposed to be ‘funny’ 😛
Liv
July 30, 2016 at 5:19 pmYou’ve described him exactly. Which is why the whole Trump thing scares the ever living crap out of me.
lisa
July 30, 2016 at 6:19 pmAnyone with personal experience with this kind of personality see him for what he truly is. There’s always the laughs, the charm, the infamous quotes but what’s underneath?
Lynn
July 29, 2016 at 8:12 pmI do record everything!!!! But it doesn’t seem to matter to the OCL! I’ve submitted lots of transcripts and 2 videos !! my ex being violent and aggressive !!! I don’t know what to do!!!! I’m scared! I’m REALLY scared!!!
lisa
July 30, 2016 at 8:15 amLynn, Continue maintaining your records or occurrences for your own purposes. Based on what you’ve said, it’s established that the OCL does not want nor consider your evidence relevant. That’s unfortunate. So, you need to take a different approach. Focus on your children. Show them love, kindness not anger and fear. If you haven’t already, invest in a good lawyer (one who understands PAS), and a good psychologist.
Lynn
July 29, 2016 at 5:01 pmLisa my ex is KEEPING and BRAINWASHING the kids via PAS (parental alienation syndrome) and when I mentioned both his narcissistic ways/habits and his PAS via me? The Ontario Children’s Lawyer didn’t “buy it”. I’m from Canada and it seems that because OCL are representing the children who are being brainwashed that they “have to ” do what the kids want not what is best for them. In front of a judge Ill look like the agressor (there’s more to the story but I’ll tell you another time)!! Because he’s 2 faced and he’s brainwashing the kids, I’m scared out of my mind on losing the children. They’re 14 and 12. The 14 year old stopped talking to me 7 months ago yesterday and the 12 year old hung up on me 3 times already (father telling him to)!!! HELP!!!
lisa
July 29, 2016 at 6:07 pmHi Lynn, have you been documenting the occurrences? Dates, times, places, things your ex is saying to the children as well as what the children are saying. Write it all down. You’ll need evidence to back up your claim of PAS. It’s not an easy thing to prove and the remedy is usually an order for the children to have less contact with the alienating parent. You can read Richard Warshak’s Divorce Poison plus, I also tackle the subject in my book. Start communicating with your children. Give them the facts. Separate facts from emotion. I hope this bit of advice helps. You (and the children) should get into a counsellor/psychologist who specializes in PAS.
Chrys Fey
July 29, 2016 at 12:39 pmNo ex like this. I couldn’t even see myself even dating someone like this to begin with. I’m a good judge of character, as in within minutes, to how a person truly is like, even if they’re putting on a front.
Trumped.
Trumpetized.
Trumplighted.
Haha! That is creative!
There are so many people like this that it’s scary.
lisa
July 29, 2016 at 6:13 pmExcellent, Chrys. I’ve learned to improve my judgment skills LOL. I am very open and see the best in everyone but that isn’t always the way to go through life. Glad you got a laugh here 🙂
kimbacaffeinate
July 29, 2016 at 11:57 amNo ex, but I have sadly known folks like this.
lisa
July 29, 2016 at 6:12 pmIt can be quite disturbing. I think the older (or should I say more mature?) we get the more our intuition senses these types.
Balroop Singh
July 29, 2016 at 11:53 amHa ha ha ha ….I wish I could go on writing ha ha so that you can actually hear my voice!!
Superby creative Lisa, I enjoyed reading it and is one of your best posts. How lightly and subtly have you passed on a very serious message! Brilliant!
I never had an ex but I have heard a lot about such men who want to appear powerful and can go to any extent to demonstrate their know-all tendency. May God bless them!!
lisa
July 29, 2016 at 6:11 pmSo glad you got a chuckle out of this one, Balroop! 🙂 I started out with humor in mind but then it all seemed so realistic that I wasn’t sure… “May God bless them”—indeed!!
Mabel Kwong
July 29, 2016 at 2:59 amThis is such a creative post, Lisa. Very well done linking it to current affairs around us. Of the guys who have come my way and we’ve went out, some of them fit quite a few of the points you’ve described. Number 9, the one about control, resonates with me quite a bit. In order for a relationship to work, it is a two way street and each party has to be prepared to compromise on occasions. One time, one person I fancied wanted to do everything his way, from eating to hanging out everything he wanted the final say. I suppose we will see if this will work out well for Trump. Stranger things have happened 🙂
lisa
July 29, 2016 at 6:09 pmThank you, Mabel! You’re right. It definitely is a two way street. If a guy only wants to do his things, I think it’s a bad sign and not to mention selfish. Yes, who knows what will happen in the election…hard to picture him as a president. Thanks for sharing, Mabel.
Bren Pace
July 28, 2016 at 11:07 amOh no! Why you busting on my Man?
lisa
July 28, 2016 at 12:31 pmSorry, Bren. He has a very loyal following too.
Bren Pace
July 28, 2016 at 1:59 pmI had to laugh. I actually did date a VERY EGO-head in my late teens. If you think Donald is bad, try x 2! He was awful! It didn’t take me long to figure out he was all about HIM and not me. What a nasty break up. He didn’t have the balls to face me though. 🙂
Great post!
lisa
July 28, 2016 at 2:17 pmWow, he didn’t even face the break up? These days, people break up over texts. I can’t imagine! You were smart to see the signs. Some of the most powerful and successful men have the large ego, and some NPD signs. Thanks Bren. 🙂