image source jwa.org
Well, that was easy. Kody and Meri pressed the easy button and voila, they’re divorced. I guess when you have four wives divorcing one isn’t a big loss. In the case of TLC’s Sister Wives, there is no loss at all for Kody. He and Meri will remain “close”. She’s still a Sister Wife, just not legally married to Kody after 25 years of putting up with his other 15 children, and multiple wives.
Before I get too judgmental, there was plenty I saw on the finale regarding their divorce that I really quite liked. The Sister Wives are all generous, good hearted women. Kody himself is very charming. So, that said there’s much to like about these people even if we don’t grasp their plural lifestyle.
Still, I want to take a more critical look at Kody and Meri’s divorce.
The love and affection is clearly still alive and well between the two. Meri insists she was simply going through the motions as a legal requirement to allow Kody to marry Robyn. If that is true then why all the tears? I felt the pain watching her sign the papers. Is Meri selfless or naive? I couldn’t decide. I believe it takes a certain kind of love to make a sacrifice like she did and how it effects her future is yet to be seen.
What was wrong with the divorce, plural style and what was right with it?
First, what was terribly wrong was there was no arrangement for future division of assets should Kody die before Meri. Since she is no longer his legal wife is he actually bound to provide support to her and her daughter and is she entitled to any of the family assets? Or as a spiritual wife has she lost her control of family assets?
Spousal support was only mentioned as a joke, right before signing the divorce decree. Kody responded by putting his arm around her and saying “We’ll discuss that in private.” with a smile and a laugh (something Kody is really good at).
image source; brokegifs.tumblr
It left me wondering if Meri has screwed herself by being too kind. Has Kody pulled one on her or is she in full control of her financial situation. Maybe she was the one supporting Kody, who knows for sure.
I’ve sensed in many of the interviews with them all on the couch, that the wives compete for affection and intimacy. They are hungry and Kody can’t possibly fulfill each one’s desires. He thinks he can but it’s not likely.
However, what I liked about this divorce was the simplicity of it. The mutual agreement seemed to cast a friendly light on an ugly word. The fact that they will remain a couple though, goes against all that we know divorce to be and certainly contributes to it being a more friendly affair.
It’s perplexing though. Kody waxed on about the word divorce and the government role in the process and the ugliness of the word itself and all it represents. Interesting, for a man who has 4 wives he’ll likely become well acquainted with the word. He should at least realize that he is more likely to experience divorce not once but twice based on the statistics and his number of wives. “It’s only a spiritual divorce.” he explained to the camera. Really?
When one of the wives seeks fulfillment outside the marriage, they can tell Kody “It was only a spiritual affair.”
Well, Kody you should pay more attention to your wife’s body language—she was crying her eyes out. Clearly, this was not just a spiritual divorce. This was real and she was already mourning the end of your marriage.
I hope Meri has her suitcase packed and a one way ticket to paradise. She needs to be with someone who appreciates her, loves her and cherishes her and won’t let her sign that document. Kody’s not your man, Meri. Oh, ya that’s because he’s Robyn’s ( and Janelle’s and Christine’s).
What do you think? Is Sister Wives sharing a fake or unrealistic idea of divorce and marriage? Will Kody take yet, another new wife in the future?
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Jane H.
March 10, 2015 at 1:01 pmYeah, you’re onto something, Lisa. Like the truth of Meri’s reaction.
Another thought: If he really believes that all this is just spiritual, why not not marry any of them? Don’t have any legal wives! Then they’ll all be totally equal.
Something tells me he wouldn’t do that.
Meri was his first wife, they say back before his multiple “wives” days. He and the child’s mother can give their kids any last names he and she want.
And he can keep writing his will over and over and over and over and over again!
lisa
March 10, 2015 at 1:22 pmGood point, Jane. Why not keep all of them ‘spiritual’? You’re right that Meri was the first and only legal wife of Kody’s. The lawyers will make some money on his will changes LOL.
Charlotte
March 10, 2015 at 6:51 amIt’s so hard for me not to judge this lifestyle, and I hate to say that because I really like to think of myself as a pretty liberal, open-minded person. That said, I can’t imagine feeling fulfilled when the man I’m married to is sharing the bed (and that emotional connection) with several other women. And I understand that they just view marriage differently, I just hope that these women are satisfied with what they have and that (as you said) they aren’t constantly competing with the other girls. Can you imagine how exhausting that must be?
So does this mean this woman is now free to marry someone else if they’ve divorced spiritually?
lisa
March 10, 2015 at 8:54 amYou ask a good question,Charlotte. Is she free to marry someone else if they’ve divorced spiritually? He said it was only a spiritual divorce yet, they went to the lawyer’s and signed divorce decree. It is more than spiritual but I doubt Kody would ‘allow’ her to marry someone else unless she left the family altogether. It’s kind of crazy!
Corina Ramos
March 8, 2015 at 8:25 pmHi Lisa,
I have never watched the show but I have heard of it and read about them in US Weekly…I know cheesy but that’s my escape :).
It sounds like it was a simple divorce but I think Meri got the short end of the stick. And it sounds like she still loves him but just couldn’t share him.
I hope she finds someone who will want only her for a wife…and it sounds like Kody will take another wife. I might have to tune in and find out.
If only all divorces were that easy.
It was great to connect with you too. I really like your blog….we should have connected a long time ago!
lisa
March 8, 2015 at 10:33 pmNo, that’s not cheesy, Corina. WE have to catch up on the ‘stuff’ of hollywood somehow! It will be interesting to see what next season brings for the show. I don’t watch it loyally but I am morbidly curious about the lifestyle. Thanks for stopping over!
Tamara
March 6, 2015 at 10:47 amI’ve never seen this show or heard of it, but I do appreciate your analysis! Maybe it reminds me of Gwyneth Paltrow and her “conscious uncoupling.” Just so hard to really know what’s going on there, and when they’re in the public eye.. and apparently with FOUR wives.
Sheesh.
lisa
March 6, 2015 at 3:50 pmHah, conscious uncoupling right! Yes, i suppose the show is edited to perfection. Who knows the truth behind this divorce?
Gina Stoneheart
March 5, 2015 at 5:33 pmLisa, I’ve only seen this show maybe once or twice. This is such a hard subject matter because I don’t believe in this way of living. Call me old fashioned but I believe there is a counterpart for each and every single one of us.. not multiple ones. Maybe in different chapters of our lives but definitely not when bound by something as sacred as marriage.
It sounds like Meri was pretty emotionally attached to him. And doesn’t it show his true colors after the divorce? I think he will jump on the opportunity to add another woman to his bed. This man may be charming but I think he wants all the different cake flavors in his cupboard. He simply can’t be satisfied by one flavor for the rest of his life.
lisa
March 6, 2015 at 3:49 pmI agree, Gina! As I’ve said I can’t imagine one man is enough for 4 women. We can be high maintenance sometimes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ads another ‘spiritual’ wife eventually. I find it bizarre, too.
Mike
March 4, 2015 at 11:20 amHi Lisa, I’ve never seen nor heard of the show. So, I can’t fairly comment to this episode or aftermath of it. I have watched reality shows over the years of different entertainment genres and I do know that sooooo much is edited for what the producers want to be portrayed in the final cut. There are often (but not always) multiple takes even in “live” interviews. Yet, I continue to watch the shows I like for escape. I do see that there is frequently a lack of “real life” in many of the shows. Seems like a contradiction, huh? That said, for Kody to marry four women is going to come at high cost on many levels to him should any/all of them not work out. And for the women too. It sounds like is what started to unravel here. Have a great day, my friend! 🙂
lisa
March 4, 2015 at 5:08 pmI don’t watch the show regularly. Although, I’ve tuned in enough to recognize the wives and some of the events. I guess it’s their religion that encourages multiple wives but seriously, how many women can one man handle? Right? 🙂
Chrys Fey
March 4, 2015 at 7:42 amI’ve never watched this show. Maybe their divorce is all for show. Maybe they’ll still be together and not married.
lisa
March 4, 2015 at 5:06 pmMaybe that’s all it is. Although, Meri’s tears were very real. Ha, no one watches the show but me… thanks for stopping over, Chrys!
tracie @ beets+birch
March 3, 2015 at 9:54 pmi don’t know this show. it probably sounds like i live under a rock but i don’t watch any ‘reality’ shows. i knew someone associated with a popular one… they are anything but real so i’m off all of them.
i did love the hbo series ‘big love’ i get the fascination of trying to understand the how and why of plural marriage.
i assume this is a tv spin on that.
dude seriously looks like a creeper!!! bwhahahaha
lisa
March 3, 2015 at 10:17 pmReality show are ridiculous for the most part. That doesn’t stop me from watching some of them LOL. I guess we like to have a peek at other people’s lives. I didn’t watch Big Love but I remember it and it looked interesting. Ha. Kody looks kind of creepy in the GIF and as I wrote this piece I realized, I don’t like him much.
Balroop Singh
March 3, 2015 at 7:11 pmThis can never be applied to real life, it is easier to make a show regarding such fake relationships but life is much more than what is depicted in such shows. I have never seen or even heard of the show but had I , I would have never seen such heartlessness and artificiality.
lisa
March 3, 2015 at 10:15 pmYou make a great point, Balroop in that the show only depicts superficial aspects of their lifestyle. OR what they want the viewers to see. But I think the most candid part of the show is the interviews at the end when they’re on ‘the couch’ b/c that’s when we see the true personalities come out.
My Inner Chick
March 3, 2015 at 3:15 pm**Is Sister Wives sharing a fake or unrealistic idea of divorce and marriage?**
In theory, I can see why women would want other women to help clean and cook and take care of kids. O’ and also for girlfriends!
Not the sex part!!!
I’ve watched the show and like Cody. I didn’t want to, but I did.
I mean, there is a reason he has 4 / 5 wives!!!
PS. but it all seems like a fairytale. xxx
lisa
March 3, 2015 at 10:13 pmHey Kim, ha! That’s true about sister wives being there to do the laundry and child care, cooking etc. 😛 but I guess there are arguments about that after a while, too. I honestly don’t believe any of his wives are intimately content. No way. Women need lots of attention and one man for 4? Nu uh. He is charming though, I agree with you there, Kim. xoxo
Jane Thrive
March 3, 2015 at 10:28 amthis is perplexing to me! i don’t watch this show and i could never be in a plural relationship, it’s not my style. however, if I was going to judge on your gif alone, that picture gives me the creeps. the narcissistic creeps. *shudder*
lisa
March 3, 2015 at 7:10 pmHaha. The GIF is really creepy. I wrote this as a stream of thoughts and was surprised to fine deep down, I don’t really care for Kody. He is handsome and charming but my inner voice came out in this piece. Apparently I have some animosity toward him. LOL. Thanks for stopping over, Jane!
Jodi
March 3, 2015 at 10:07 amI have never heard of the show. But it sounds so complicated. Then you have to wonder how much is done for TV. What’s real and what isn’t.
lisa
March 3, 2015 at 7:09 pmGood point Jodi, how much is for the camera? Although they seem pretty genuine even more so than most reality shows. Nice to see you Jodi!