source; Pinterest
Doin’ the Divorce Happy Dance? Well, that’s what women are doing according to the study from the Kingston University in London. Whereas men although slightly happier at their divorce conclusion, are not as significantly as the women. It turns out men are a little less excited and happy about this whole divorce ‘thing’.
What impressed me in the study is it shows that despite the decrease in income levels and the stress involved in divorce, women reported to be happier then when they were married. This is an encouraging tidbit of information and one that we as divorced women or women thinking about divorce, should treasure. A tidbit of information we should tuck up our sleeve to pull out randomly as a reminder that it’s okay to be happy during divorce. A positive tidbit to store mentally and have at the ready for those people who want to question our choices.
Sometimes it’s the ‘unhappily marrieds’ who are judging us but secretly wishing they had the guts to make the choice or take the action we’ve taken. Any peep from them and we recite the facts…something like this over coffee…
source; dreamstime
Judgey friend: “Gee, are you sure you made the right decision?”
You: “Did you know that according to the Kingston University study that women are reported to be happier after divorce?”
Judgey friend: ” Oh… ” bewildered.
You: “I know right?” big, huge grin.
Judgey friend: “I just thought it was such a terrible choice for the kids…and the cost involved…”
You: “Are you sure you’re making the right choice staying married?”
Oh, no! You didn’t just say that out loud did you?! That’s really how rude it is to question someone’s decision to end a marriage. It’s about as nosy and rude as questioning a friend’s choice to stay married. Neither one of those questions are anyone’s business but our own. But I digress…
People compare divorce to death. I have even done this myself because on the one hand, it is a major loss. When we marry we don’t believe that it will ever end. We have hopes and dreams of the happy family…true love…forever. Divorce proves to us that our dreams don’t always come true and that things don’t always go as planned. In spite of that though, somehow us women are pulling through with a smile on our face. Keywords that come to my mind when I think of newly separated women (and some men, of course)…
STARTING over, the NEXT CHAPTER, RENEWAL, transition, CHANGE, setting NEW DREAMS
re-DISCOVERY, SOUL searching, SELF LOVE, new GOALS, NEW people, places and things
source; pinterest
ME time,re-CONNECTING,opportunity, chance for LOVE
With all of these positive reminders…keep your chin up and keep going…it only gets better from here!
Did you do or are you doing the Divorce Happy Dance?
Leave a comment, I LOVE ’em!
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Anna Grace
October 24, 2013 at 6:31 pmI am devouring these posts one by one, heh heh. Thanks for the inspiring words … renewal, transition are my favorites.
lisa
October 24, 2013 at 8:42 pmThank you Anna. I’m delighted you are finding some inspiration here! Those are some of my favorite words too 🙂
Paul
September 4, 2013 at 10:58 pmThis is very inspirational.
We fear the changes that divorce entails, without thinking of the benefits: freedom, independence, self-discovery, and personal growth.
I couldn’t be happier since leaving my nine-year marriage, three years ago!
My only advice is to leave at the first sign of trouble. Time lost never comes back. Why not get a head start on the difficult but rewarding process of remaking your life?
lisa
September 11, 2013 at 4:52 pmThat’s great Paul. You bring up an important point, not to wait too long because time we can never take back! Leave at the first sign of trouble-yes!
My Inner Chick
July 21, 2013 at 7:59 am–I have heard that divorce is like a death. One goes thru the same mourning steps, but sometimes this is the only way to move forward w/ your life.
Much harder leaving than staying…This must be the reason so many women stay.
This is the reason Kay stayed…and when she decided to leave … it was too late.
Xx Have a nice Sunday.
lisa
July 21, 2013 at 9:29 amYes, it’s definitely hard to leave. It’s interesting that more women are happier after divorce. I’m so sorry Kay didn’t get a chance to experience this. S.O.B!
Hugs for you
Beverly Diehl
July 18, 2013 at 7:17 amDivorce – or a breakup from a long-time partner, if marriage was not involved – IS the death of a dream.
Or is it? Maybe it is ACKNOWLEDGING that the dream has died.
Juana la Loca of Castile did not want to let go of her dead husband. She dragged his casket around with her and would pen it to press kisses upon Philip’s decaying lips, hence the nickname “the Mad.”
You can’t move on and be happy when you are tied to a dead thing. Only when you acknowledge the death, grieve, and let go. I have been sad, sometimes, since I left my ex, but more often, I have been happy, even exhilarated by the freedom and glorious life I have without him. Even though yep, I do have financial challenges, I would not go back at gunpoint.
lisa
July 18, 2013 at 7:49 amI think it’s both! A death but also a new beginning. That’s funny if disturbing, about Juana la Loca. I’ll have to read more on that. You’re right Beverly, you have to go through a grieving process. What I find encouraging about the study is that in spite of all of the difficulties women are still happier post divorce. I’m happy for you that you’ve found your peace and happiness! Thx for sharing your thoughts 🙂