One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season.  Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit. 

My daughter enjoying the ocean view

I just finished my morning coffee on the beach with the eagles, the loons and the less majestic sea gulls.  The cooler night air has brought with it a hint of fog on the water.  The first sign of the fall season.  It’s been a wonderful two weeks with my kids but now we have to say good bye, something I hate. 

There is always so much negative coverage, comments, judgments and professional nay-saying about divorce.  But what about the positive side of divorce or as I like to call it; the flip side of divorce. There are surprising benefits for both you, and the kids.

Rarely do we stop and examine what can go right during or after divorce. So instead of focusing on the difficulties, expense and strife of divorce, let’s take a few moments to examine the good, the pluses and the long term positive effects of divorce i.e., the BENEFITS.

During the initial stages of separation and divorce, we find that we have lost our normal.  This is unsettling for us humans since we thrive on routine.  Our simple routine of daily tasks and some of our traditions are thrown out.  It’s called change or transition and it’s not an easy part of the process.  How can

Demi Moore in The Scarlett Letter

I’ve never felt so ostracized as I did post divorce.  I was the woman wearing the Scarlett Letter, it seemed.  It turns out you don’t need to be an adulterer to be shunned, especially if you are the one to end the marriage.

Can you return without the social stigma?  Is it true you can never go back?  Can you walk the same streets and feel like the same person?

If you have relocated after a difficult divorce, you may return one day and ask yourself these very questions.  I pondered these questions upon my return to a city my children still call home.

We’ve grown up only to learn Cinderella’s carriage was a pumpkin to begin with.  Our foot never fit the glass slipper.  Sleeping Beauty ate a bad apple and maybe we took a bite from the same one.  We’re not in Kansas anymore!  Learning the fairy tale doesn’t always have that happy ending is a hard lesson, even for cynics.

What is divorce Month?   It’s a well known fact that more separations and divorces happen in January.  Even more break ups in less serious relationships happen this month, why?  January is the most dreary month of the year including the weather, the lack of daylight, the Christmas bills, and the lingering disappointments of the recent Christmas season.