image source Mobile9 on Pinterest

I haven’t actually written about the end of my divorce. I’ve written about the beginning and the middle in my book and here, on the blog. But I think the story of the end of a divorce can be just as interesting as the story of how it all began.

The end, for me was kind of surreal. The official process began before the fire and concluded three months later.  I tend to mark things that happened that year as before and after the fire. And yes, I refer to the end of my divorce as a process in and of itself because as much as we wish it would end already, the end has a beginning and a middle, too. Another thing about endings? They can be false.

Wow, you guys it’s almost the end of November! WTF and where does the time even go? Life is like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button…Anyway just some random thoughts. I realize that for my American Escapees it is was a big week for y’all. Giving thanks and eating good food,

Back in 2012 I wrote about the challenges of rebooting your career after staying home to raise children or as a SAHM (Stay at home mom). If you haven’t already read What The F Am I Gonna Do Now? please review it as I share important tips about spousal/alimony support that I’m not covering in this post.

During divorce our career or lack thereof, is obviously a top concern. Your ex, his lawyer and most anyone will be asking the inevitable question; “When are you going to get a job?” I know. Rude, right? I thought so, too. What was I supposed to do run out and get a job at McD’s? My ex probably would have enjoyed that however, before going out and grabbing the

“Courage is found in unlikely places.”-J.R.R Tolkien

Two things you’ll need to make any major change in your life are a shot of courage and a slice of bravery. Actually, before you even begin to make the changes you’ll need to identify and admit to the necessity of that change. That’s where we especially need a shot of courage and that’s only the beginning. The rest is getting from here to where we want to be.

I mentioned a few weeks ago, it’s my Divorce-ary coming up. It will be 10 years since my initial separation.

” 20 10 years. Where’d they go? 20  10 years. I don’t know. I sit and wonder sometimes, where they’ve gone…” -Bob Segar

Our divorce proceedings dragged on from 2005-2012. Yup, 2012 was the final signing off on an agreement. Ultimately that agreement says everybody’s happy now walk away…

It’s hard being a divorcee. We’re a ONE in a world of twos. It’s downright lonely. Eventually, we want to get our toes in the water and begin dating again. We go onto dating sites with hopes of love. It’s only natural. Next thing you know, we’re in a relationship again. It’s wonderful. It’s exciting and we feel like a teenager again. We’re getting a second chance!

How many of you are best friends or let me re-word that; how many of you are simply friends with your ex? I know it’s quite a concept—yet, I believe many strive for that.  If we can rise above co-parenting conflict and the division of assets there might be a chance. However, from what I’ve seen it’s about a 20% chance of retaining or working toward friendship post

image source pinterest

We think it’s the right dress for us. We loved that color at the time…but now looking back at an old photo we wonder “What was I thinking?”

Huge shoulder pads, ‘pleather’ pants, floral material at the bottom of our bell bottom jeans.  Pea green skirts and dresses to match our appliances.  Stirrup pants with white boots? Onesies—oh they’re back, baby but you won’t catch me in one.  How about the Grunge era? Did you have a man to match your baggy plaid shirt, Doc Martins and greasy hair?  Kurt Cobain was kind of hot.

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Fall is in the air. I can almost smell the new, freshly sharpened pencils and blank notebooks.  You know the ones with the line on the left margin? I can feel the brand new text books with stubborn spines holding promise of a new world of words and facts.  Even if we’re not returning to school something in our soul tells us so.  The falling leaves, the sound of school bells and new shoes all say “hey, what are you going to learn?”

Are you going back to school to try something new or are you going to simply turn over a new leaf?

An interesting topic I tackled over at DivorcedMoms today…  Should or did you go back to your Maiden name after divorce?  First, what’s in a name?  This was famously answered by Shakespeare’s Juliet…”A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  I beg to differ, Juliet.  We might be the very same person inside but changing our name can change our whole perception.  Why else do actors and musicians take on a ‘stage name’?  To empower themselves…