One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season.  Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit. 

With Christmas around the corner we’re starting to make lists of who’s naughty and who’s nice.  It got me to thinking about some of the depressing gifts I received from well meaning friends and family following my divorce.  One that stands out is the

The days are getting shorter, the nights colder.  Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits. 

photo credit someecards.com

People will ask you the weirdest, nosiest most obnoxious questions when you tell them your marriage is over.  As a woman who made the decision to end my marriage, the reaction of bewilderment by some people was beyond frustrating.  Here are the top dumbest divorce questions I got asked;

There is always so much negative coverage, comments, judgments and professional nay-saying about divorce.  But what about the positive side of divorce or as I like to call it; the flip side of divorce. There are surprising benefits for both you, and the kids.

Rarely do we stop and examine what can go right during or after divorce. So instead of focusing on the difficulties, expense and strife of divorce, let’s take a few moments to examine the good, the pluses and the long term positive effects of divorce i.e., the BENEFITS.

I saw on Pinterest recently a quote that spoke right to me; “The problem with real life is there is no soundtrack playing in the background”  With the gamut of emotions during a divorce;  sadness, loneliness, anger, happiness, confusion, and everything in between, what better way to deal with it then some music therapy?

During the initial stages of separation and divorce, we find that we have lost our normal.  This is unsettling for us humans since we thrive on routine.  Our simple routine of daily tasks and some of our traditions are thrown out.  It’s called change or transition and it’s not an easy part of the process.  How can

Demi Moore in The Scarlett Letter

I’ve never felt so ostracized as I did post divorce.  I was the woman wearing the Scarlett Letter, it seemed.  It turns out you don’t need to be an adulterer to be shunned, especially if you are the one to end the marriage.

Can you return without the social stigma?  Is it true you can never go back?  Can you walk the same streets and feel like the same person?

If you have relocated after a difficult divorce, you may return one day and ask yourself these very questions.  I pondered these questions upon my return to a city my children still call home.

Abuse during divorce is more common than we realize.  When we take the step to end our marriage, we extricate ourselves from the marital turmoil only to find ourselves the target of even more abusive behaviors.  The ex can become aggressive, verbally abusive, threatening, and sometimes paranoid.  The truth is the bigger their ego, the more intensely they react to the end of the marriage or relationship. 

The overwhelming issues surrounding your divorce include financial worries and a decrease in disposable income.  Suddenly one, or the same income is supporting two households.  Perhaps your support is inconsistent and often late.  The goal here is to get your budget closer to a ‘balance’.  You don’t have to be a financial wizard to take control.