As I was watching television the other night, a commercial for the old ‘Golden Arches’ (McDonalds) came on. “Join us for Family Night every Wednesday night between 4-7pm!” And in case you were wondering, this post is not sponsored.

The ad showed happy children and parents, happy employees, and all to the background music of Laverne Baker Tweedle Dee possibly one of the happiest songs ever recorded. Well, have a look for yourself:

Are you like me and have a hard time asking for help? You don’t want to burden your friends so you tell them you’re okay when you’re actually falling down a hole so deep you fear bumping into Alice?

I can’t think of a more appropriate time than during separation and divorce that we require help from family and friends. All at once we’re single parenting, dealing with lawyers, moving, starting a new career or educational program. Yet we try to manage it alone. We think if we can’t manage it all alone, we must be weak. There must be something wrong with us if we need help.

There isn’t a whole lot of information out there regarding special needs spouses, and/or disabled spouses. That said I was able to come up with six important things to know if you’re divorcing or are a special needs spouse.

Note that there is much more information on having special needs children of the marriage, which could and may be dealt with in a whole different (future) post.

I want to focus here what you can expect during divorce if special needs are a part of your situation. Obviously, disabilities refer to any sort being physical or cognitive or degenerative.

“Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?”

The words to that old Elvis song always tug at my heartstrings. I picture my grandmother mending socks, humming along to this song playing on her kitchen radio. She became a widow quite young. She wasn’t even 60 yet. She lived alone until the day she died (excluding her final years in a care home).

One of the hardest adjustments during divorce, is finding yourself alone. Alone. Just that simple word conjures up all kinds of not so nice feelings. When you’re alone, is it because no one wants you?

image source Unsplash by Christopher Harris

I’m  re-posting an updated, yet classic from the archives.

One of the biggest changes during divorce is losing the marital home, which I have written about before here.

It’s a loss that isn’t easy to swallow for many couples who have taken pride in their home. Dare I say, they’ve considered their home something of a status symbol or a page out of a decorating magazine? That will all change. You’ll see though, that what really matters isn’t the shell of a home but who and what is inside it.

image source; dreamstime

At the risk of sounding smug, I’d like to warn  of these common divorce mistakes (a few that I’ve made myself). These are only a sampling of many mistakes we make but I’ve narrowed it down to the top five. So, this is a quick and dirty list of what not to do during your divorce.

A list of ten things seems to be a nice way to reflect on complex issues. You can check out my previous post listing 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Divorce. Although today’s list is similar, I wanted to emphasize some new points.

It’s like my older self is telling my younger (about to get divorced) self, what to expect.

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

It’s no secret that the initial stages of divorce prove to be the most dangerous time in a woman’s life. Yet, we tend to remain positively naive. That makes sense of course, because we’re going through so much for the first time and we are unaware of the hidden or subtle vulnerabilities.

image source; unsplash.com by Josh Applegate

Religion is a powerful force that aims to project a system of beliefs, to instill faith and community. Often, in any religion you will find traditions and events to mark a ‘coming of age’ or a celebration of accomplishment in that faith. Similarly, wedding ceremonies are conducted in our faith of choice and become one of those celebrations.

image source rodeo.net

Are you inked?  If not, are you thinking about getting a tattoo?  Are these thoughts connected to an event in your life such as divorce, marriage, death, love?

It’s human nature to want to mark an event with a celebration or a ceremony and sometimes with INK.