can cost you…money, assets and even the kids. I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’. This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality. It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave. They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.
photo source; children-and-dvorce.net
One of the most destructive patterns of behavior in a divorce is Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS as it is known in certain circles. I hadn’t heard of the term when I separated from my husband but if only I had, I would have seen the red flags flying above my head. While knowledge is power, I was naive. Even if you are not experiencing PAS, it’s important to understand what it is and at least recognize the signs.
image source; Dreamstime
From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:
When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood. We want to do what’s best for our babies. Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us. If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years. The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce. We stay at home moms are
Book Review…i and the Great Divide by Fiona McGlynn
New author Fiona McGlynn has created, with illustrator Robin Urquhart a book that explains divorce for children. i And the Great Divide is a simple and visually appealing book designed to help the younger child understand divorce in their family. The most important message in the book? It’s not your fault…ever. Mom and Dad still love you.
“Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.” -Sigmund Freud
Henri Matisse
Whoever said dreams are meaningless was wrong. Do you suffer from nocturnal meanderings that disturb your sleep? Our subconscious thoughts get mixed up with our events of the day to culminate in some pretty strange dreams. During divorce, our daytime events are often full of stress and conflict. What we would like to forget at the end of the day can come back to haunt us in our
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there! Special wishes to the single moms doing it all alone. Single moms are some of the strongest and most determined women in the world.
How do you define motherhood? I remember when I was young and expecting my first child, I was so excited. The anticipation of caring for a tiny human was almost overwhelming.
The bewildering changes in my body as the pregnancy progressed were nothing compared to the changes to come. But ignorance is bliss. I was sure if I had enough hooded towels for baby, everything would be fine. As my baby grew inside me week by week, I was filled with questions. Who would he or she look like? (Knowing the gender prior to birth was rare in the ‘olden days’) Would they be perfect in every way? What would they become? Sometimes I doubted my ability to be a mother.
My favorite picture of my kids
Starting with the blue stick through to sticky glue, sticky fingers and sticky situations; motherhood has it all. When we decide to have babies we think of it as a destination, a place we’ve come to or a decision we’ve made. But motherhood defined, is a JOURNEY. A beginning, middle and an end that hopefully never comes until it’s our turn to leave this world.
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