In honor of my 50th birthday…gulp…I’m sharing my humble list of 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years.  Some things are funny.  Some are things you’ll say “She’s just figured that out now?”  Yes, I’m still figuring things out…so please have a read and a laugh.  I have a special request for you though, before you make too much fun of me, share at least one thing you’ve learned in the comments 🙂

10 Red flags that indicate your new man is a SHARK and NOT a fish.

Divorced women become unwitting prey for sharks skimming along just below the surface. They’re under the radar with their fin and teeth well hidden.  They’re floating in bars, restaurants, social media and dating sites.

I’m working on a series of videos with ‘bite sized’ tips.  All of the videos will cover topics related to divorce.  I wanted to share one of them here because  it’s a very important topic.  Telling your kids…making that dreaded announcement.  You can guess that we’re not going to say “Honey, your Dad and I have decided to concsiously uncouple.”  No.  Not happening.

image source; impawards.com

Last year I wrote about Alicia Florrick of The Good Wife.  I took a look at her character and how she sacrifices for a cheating husband.  She’s a great character study in discussing marriage, divorce, sacrifice and loyalty (heavy stuff).  If you missed it you can read it here.  So, after watching last week’s episode with a killer twist, I was moved to write once again, about Alicia Florrick and why we don’t want to be her.

From the archives…Feeling pissed about Cupid this year?  It’s difficult after separation to feel inspired about a day dedicated to love when you feel your heart is broken.  But in order to mend your heart, you have to start loving yourself.

In our marriages we often put ourselves last.  We even learn to stop loving ourselves.  How do we undo this?  We begin by treating ourselves right.  Turn Valentine’s Day into I HEART

image; pinterest

AS each  new day unfolds, so does your story.  Will you tell yours?  How will you tell it?  Will it be a comedic play, a romantic novel, a love song, a dramatic film or serious documentary.  Maybe  how isn’t as important as the simple fact

Speaking of perfection…do you fear your Christmas won’t be up to snuff?  Your gifts will be all ‘wrong’, your meal burnt?  Well, join the club.

Even though I’m almost finished my shopping, I still wonder if I bought enough and if everyone will be satisfied.  Has my love been adequately expressed through carefully wrapped gifts?  Nevertheless I’ve given much thought to who’s been naughty and who’s been nice!

  “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss,   and have found their way out of the depths.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

LOSS-we all experience it, especially during divorce.  The fact is we lose stuff everyday; a thought, our keys, our phone, a memory, our coins, a contest, a challenge, a call and the biggest one of all—TIME.

In tackling this subject I really wanted to express the idea that loss is something we all deal with whether they’re losses that leave a crevice in our hearts or small ones, that niggle on the left side of our brain.

Loss is just an unfortunate part of life…

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

Book Review…i and the Great Divide by Fiona McGlynn

New author Fiona McGlynn has created, with illustrator Robin Urquhart a book that explains divorce for children.  i And the Great Divide is a simple and visually appealing book designed to help the younger child understand divorce in their family.  The most important message in the book? It’s not your fault…ever.  Mom and Dad still love you.