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An ideal divorce-is there such a thing?  Or is it as likely as riding a unicorn off into the sunset.  I would hazard a guess that it’s about as likely as ‘happily ever after’.  Not impossible, but not guaranteed.  First, what is an ideal divorce?

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One of the inevitable side effects of divorce is the ensuing gossip.  Yes, little old you become fodder and material for idle gossip.  Whether they’re neighbors, teachers, friends, acquaintances or sports parents your name seems to be on the tip of their tongue.

Being too nice during your divorce

can cost you…money, assets and even the kids.  I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’.  This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality.  It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave.  They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.

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One of the most destructive patterns of behavior in a divorce is Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS as it is known in certain circles.  I hadn’t heard of the term when I separated from my husband but if only I had, I would have seen the red flags flying above my head.  While knowledge is power, I was naive. Even if you are not experiencing PAS, it’s important to understand what it is and at least recognize the signs.

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From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:

When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood.  We want to do what’s best for our babies.  Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us.  If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years.  The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce.  We stay at home moms are

Book Review…i and the Great Divide by Fiona McGlynn

New author Fiona McGlynn has created, with illustrator Robin Urquhart a book that explains divorce for children.  i And the Great Divide is a simple and visually appealing book designed to help the younger child understand divorce in their family.  The most important message in the book? It’s not your fault…ever.  Mom and Dad still love you.

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One of the most startling changes during my divorce, was my perception of myself. That sounds strange but when I was married I was a good girl.  I was a good wife.  I understood my role and made the best of my marital life.  I played by the rules.  I fulfilled expectations as a soccer mom, school volunteer and as a friend and business wife.  I wouldn’t call myself a trophy wife as that would suggest I spent many hours primping and looking

Should you buy or rent during divorce?  Ideally, we would like to keep the matrimonial home and live there with the children.  The last thing we want to do is let go of all of those memories we’ve made there.  However, the cost of the household and your ex maintaining his own house is not feasible for many divorcing couples.   The reality is most couples end up selling the matrimonial home and each downsizing to accommodate a maxed out budget.  But it’s not as bad as it sounds.  The question

“Just get up, put your lipstick on and get out there.”  This was the advice given to a friend of mine by her grandmother when she was going through her divorce.

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So many pretty colors to choose from…

Grandma gave this advice for different situations, not just during divorce.  She gave herself this advice when her husband passed away.  The devastating loss had her feeling hopeless until she told herself  “Get off your ass, and put your lipstick on…” In other words,  get up and ‘Just Do It’.  Did Nike steal this grandmother’s mantra (minus the lipstick)?  It seems Liz Taylor would agree.  The drink is optional, of course…

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Doin’ the Divorce Happy Dance?  Well, that’s what women are doing according to the study from the Kingston University in London.  Whereas men although slightly happier at their divorce conclusion, are not as significantly as the women.  It turns out men are a little less excited and happy about this whole divorce ‘thing’.

What impressed me in the study is it shows that despite the decrease in income levels and the stress involved in divorce, women reported to be happier then when they were married.  This