Speaking of perfection…do you fear your Christmas won’t be up to snuff?  Your gifts will be all ‘wrong’, your meal burnt?  Well, join the club.

Even though I’m almost finished my shopping, I still wonder if I bought enough and if everyone will be satisfied.  Has my love been adequately expressed through carefully wrapped gifts?  Nevertheless I’ve given much thought to who’s been naughty and who’s been nice!

  “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss,   and have found their way out of the depths.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

LOSS-we all experience it, especially during divorce.  The fact is we lose stuff everyday; a thought, our keys, our phone, a memory, our coins, a contest, a challenge, a call and the biggest one of all—TIME.

In tackling this subject I really wanted to express the idea that loss is something we all deal with whether they’re losses that leave a crevice in our hearts or small ones, that niggle on the left side of our brain.

Loss is just an unfortunate part of life…

From the archives, how to cheer up the darker days…

The days are getting shorter, the nights colder.  Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits.  If you are mid-divorce especially, the darkness out your window only adds to your dark mood.

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

source; Pinterest

One of the most startling changes during my divorce, was my perception of myself. That sounds strange but when I was married I was a good girl.  I was a good wife.  I understood my role and made the best of my marital life.  I played by the rules.  I fulfilled expectations as a soccer mom, school volunteer and as a friend and business wife.  I wouldn’t call myself a trophy wife as that would suggest I spent many hours primping and looking

From the archives, one of my favorites;

I can’t think of a better way to spend a rainy day then to pen a love letter.  During divorce we stop believing in love, so bring back that feeling by writing a love letter to anyone of your choice, maybe someone you’ve always admired from afar.  Some say a love letter to yourself

“Just get up, put your lipstick on and get out there.”  This was the advice given to a friend of mine by her grandmother when she was going through her divorce.

source; Pinterest

So many pretty colors to choose from…

Grandma gave this advice for different situations, not just during divorce.  She gave herself this advice when her husband passed away.  The devastating loss had her feeling hopeless until she told herself  “Get off your ass, and put your lipstick on…” In other words,  get up and ‘Just Do It’.  Did Nike steal this grandmother’s mantra (minus the lipstick)?  It seems Liz Taylor would agree.  The drink is optional, of course…

source; Pinterest

Doin’ the Divorce Happy Dance?  Well, that’s what women are doing according to the study from the Kingston University in London.  Whereas men although slightly happier at their divorce conclusion, are not as significantly as the women.  It turns out men are a little less excited and happy about this whole divorce ‘thing’.

What impressed me in the study is it shows that despite the decrease in income levels and the stress involved in divorce, women reported to be happier then when they were married.  This

Well, I scrolled through all kinds of inspirational quotes today and couldn’t seem to find one that spoke to us.  Then I saw this bird cage with a quote that seemed appropriate.  It’s all about freedom…believing in you…dreaming big dreams…knowing today isn’t the end of your story, only the beginning…