An interesting topic I tackled over at DivorcedMoms today…  Should or did you go back to your Maiden name after divorce?  First, what’s in a name?  This was famously answered by Shakespeare’s Juliet…”A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  I beg to differ, Juliet.  We might be the very same person inside but changing our name can change our whole perception.  Why else do actors and musicians take on a ‘stage name’?  To empower themselves…

image ‘lonely rain’ by crazy beautiful

If you’ve ever wondered whether you should end an abusive relationship, this is a must read!

Updated: October 2, 2023

Today is my first guest post here at The Great Escape…and I’m delighted to introduce to you all one inspirational young lady.   She’s beautiful, sassy, rescues dogs, teaches elementary school and she’s someone you’d want for a best friend.  Marianne Jordan is also the founder of My Own Diva (this company is no longer in business but Marianne’s story remains a must read) and well…she kicks ass.   She’s a Southern Belle from Columbus, Georgia and her story will inspire you…

Undoubtedly, one of the biggest challenges during divorce and in the initial stages of separation, is parenting. Parenting is a labour of love even in intact homes.  However, add divorce and it is  riddled with guilt, logistical obstacles, loneliness and tug of war.  If you’re experiencing any of this know you’re not alone.

image source lawboutique.ca

I can’t overstate the importance of updating your will during divorce.  Since divorce can take years to process, your life feels like it’s in a constant state of transition. Untying knots requires tying up loose ends.  One of those is your will.  You certainly don’t want your STBX acting as your

It’s supposed to heal but a moment in time can break you.  It’s the one thing we can’t buy.  There is no price on it because it’s invaluable. Yet we squander it away as if we have forever.  We remember the moments but not necessarily whole days.  Let’s talk about the illusive structure of our lives:  Time…

Tick. … Tock.   It’s ticking away while we’re ‘busy making other plans’ (John Lennon).

image source; Pinterest

An ideal divorce-is there such a thing?  Or is it as likely as riding a unicorn off into the sunset.  I would hazard a guess that it’s about as likely as ‘happily ever after’.  Not impossible, but not guaranteed.  First, what is an ideal divorce?

image credit-Amazon

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown is definitely an antidote to therapy.  In therapy we look inside to see where we went wrong…but in the book, Brene reminds us to look outside ourselves and see the big picture.  It’s comforting when you’re going through difficult life changes, to know that it’s better to look at the big picture than focusing on your flaws.

Being too nice during your divorce

can cost you…money, assets and even the kids.  I’ve heard many stories of regret and loss due to taking the ‘high road’ and being ‘nice’.  This is especially true for us women as we are raised to be caring and nurturing. It’s part of our feminine quality.  It’s double true for women who make the decision to leave.  They, more than anyone are troubled with guilt which leads to being too nice and trying to keep everyone happy.

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

image source; Dreamstime

From the archives, a common dilemma divorcing women face:

When we find out we’re expecting we are overwhelmed and delighted by the prospect of entering a new phase in our life; motherhood.  We want to do what’s best for our babies.  Thus begins the long path of putting our children’s needs before our own.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is a bad thing however as we learn years later, the decision we thought was the best at one point ends up hurting us.  If you are like me and stayed home to raise your children you have given up the prospects of furthering your career during all of those years.  The rewards and benefits of staying home are invaluable to our children but there is a price to pay in the event of divorce.  We stay at home moms are