I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

source; Pinterest

One of the most startling changes during my divorce, was my perception of myself. That sounds strange but when I was married I was a good girl.  I was a good wife.  I understood my role and made the best of my marital life.  I played by the rules.  I fulfilled expectations as a soccer mom, school volunteer and as a friend and business wife.  I wouldn’t call myself a trophy wife as that would suggest I spent many hours primping and looking

From the archives, one of my favorites;

I can’t think of a better way to spend a rainy day then to pen a love letter.  During divorce we stop believing in love, so bring back that feeling by writing a love letter to anyone of your choice, maybe someone you’ve always admired from afar.  Some say a love letter to yourself

“Just get up, put your lipstick on and get out there.”  This was the advice given to a friend of mine by her grandmother when she was going through her divorce.

source; Pinterest

So many pretty colors to choose from…

Grandma gave this advice for different situations, not just during divorce.  She gave herself this advice when her husband passed away.  The devastating loss had her feeling hopeless until she told herself  “Get off your ass, and put your lipstick on…” In other words,  get up and ‘Just Do It’.  Did Nike steal this grandmother’s mantra (minus the lipstick)?  It seems Liz Taylor would agree.  The drink is optional, of course…

I was perusing a few antique stores the other day in Gastown, a funky neighborhood in my hometown of Vancouver.  I always find it interesting that in every store there is inevitably a box full of old, black and white family photos.  Who are these people?  Well, they could be anyone.  They could be my own relatives and I wouldn’t even know it! These snaps made me think about how all of our family photos are similar.    These old photos each tell their own story but collectively they reflect a certain time, with certain attitudes and mores.

The wedding photos in particular, made me smile to myself.  Must

photo by Mary Schonnen

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’..”  That old Gershwin jazz tune always plays through my mind in June.  Summer is upon us and we’ve waited patiently for it to come! We even travel great distances at great expense during the winter months to get a taste of this season in some other exotic locale.  But now we have it, right outside our own

Oh, to have a good friend! One who doesn’t let you down, who believes in you…those are the gems…and you’ll need them during a divorce!

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”
― William Shakespeare

Today’s quote of the week couldn’t be more relevant than during divorce or any other life crisis…

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

Surround yourself with supportive people who make you smile and send love your way.  Leave alone the ones who fill you with self doubt.  To reiterate this quote…

source; strawberrieHeart

There is no more stressful time than during a divorce, except for death.  Think about that for a minute.  Divorce is a grieving process of sorts.

If you are going through it right now, chances are you’ve let your self care routine slide.  There are other more important things to worry about than my hair…you hear yourself say…the children come first, you say…and they do however, if you keep putting yourself last you won’t get through this journey intact.