From the archives, how to cheer up the darker days…

The days are getting shorter, the nights colder.  Although we can’t bring back the light of the summer and we can’t stop the rain from falling on our heads, there are always the simple, small ways to lift our spirits.  If you are mid-divorce especially, the darkness out your window only adds to your dark mood.

I’ve been known to say “It’s the moments that count.”  I said it in my book, chapter 1 to be precise.  Just as in a marriage, it is true during the divorce process as well.  We tend to put a great deal of emphasis on the big moments of life like weddings, divorce, giving birth, a long awaited promotion, or finally taking that exotic vacation.  All of these big moments are exciting and they give us things to strive for and look forward to however, they are few and far between in life.  If we’re only getting excited about these things then what are we doing in the in-between times?

image; Jan’spageofawesomeness tumblr

Autumn always signals personal reassessment for me.  Whether it be in my home, my closets, my work and creativity, or even relationships.  It must be that old, back to school feeling.  Remember when you would get taken out by your mother for back to school shoes? It was so special and exciting you might even get a new dress or jacket out of the deal. 

image source Artandseek.net

This post has been updated on October 7, 2020.

Sometimes we just need to curl up on the couch with a cup of tea or glass bottle of wine and watch a good movie.  Even better if we can relate to the main character’s situation, dilemma or pain.  It’s time for our Divorce movie count down…

LISA’S DIVORCE MOVIE Countdown…

12. Blue Valentine

Ryan Gosling & Michelle Williams-this film is phenomenal and it’s not higher on my list because it is just so damn hard to watch. Their love story is told in flashbacks while we watch these two fall out of love and end in divorce.  Blue Valentine gets top marks for its darkness but don’t watch this if you’re already suffering from depression…seriously…heed my warning

“Just get up, put your lipstick on and get out there.”  This was the advice given to a friend of mine by her grandmother when she was going through her divorce.

source; Pinterest

So many pretty colors to choose from…

Grandma gave this advice for different situations, not just during divorce.  She gave herself this advice when her husband passed away.  The devastating loss had her feeling hopeless until she told herself  “Get off your ass, and put your lipstick on…” In other words,  get up and ‘Just Do It’.  Did Nike steal this grandmother’s mantra (minus the lipstick)?  It seems Liz Taylor would agree.  The drink is optional, of course…

source; Pinterest

Doin’ the Divorce Happy Dance?  Well, that’s what women are doing according to the study from the Kingston University in London.  Whereas men although slightly happier at their divorce conclusion, are not as significantly as the women.  It turns out men are a little less excited and happy about this whole divorce ‘thing’.

What impressed me in the study is it shows that despite the decrease in income levels and the stress involved in divorce, women reported to be happier then when they were married.  This

I was perusing a few antique stores the other day in Gastown, a funky neighborhood in my hometown of Vancouver.  I always find it interesting that in every store there is inevitably a box full of old, black and white family photos.  Who are these people?  Well, they could be anyone.  They could be my own relatives and I wouldn’t even know it! These snaps made me think about how all of our family photos are similar.    These old photos each tell their own story but collectively they reflect a certain time, with certain attitudes and mores.

The wedding photos in particular, made me smile to myself.  Must

photo by Mary Schonnen

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…your daddy’s rich and your mamma’s good lookin’..”  That old Gershwin jazz tune always plays through my mind in June.  Summer is upon us and we’ve waited patiently for it to come! We even travel great distances at great expense during the winter months to get a taste of this season in some other exotic locale.  But now we have it, right outside our own

Oh, to have a good friend! One who doesn’t let you down, who believes in you…those are the gems…and you’ll need them during a divorce!

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”
― William Shakespeare

Here is a quote from a writer who lived on the outside of the social scene.  An eccentric who’s writings were not respected while alive but has influenced contemporary writers of this and the last century.  Who said this…

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

I guess another way of saying this is “hindsight is 20/20” or “if only I had known___”.  The point is sometimes we don’t know WHY things happen but in time the answers are revealed to us.  In the meantime…since we have no choice but to live forwards might as well take a leap….

source; Pinterest

your thoughts?

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