Well, as promised, I have finished reading and I’m ready to share with you my review of Dr. John T. Chirban’s Collateral Damage; Guiding and Protecting You Child Through the Minefield of Divorce. (And I thought the title of my book was long).  I was given two advance copies for an honest review and giveaway here at the blog. The book is slated for publication this month. That means, the books I have for the giveaway are pre-published editions and as such have no page numbers and the Foreward is not included. 

10 Tips to improve your Christmas post divorce, is something I think will help anyone coping with co-parenting issues over the holidays. One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season.  Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit.  What makes this even harder is having  to let go of old traditions.  Also, Christmas memories from before the divorce are still raw.  Due to these changes in family dynamics, the holidays become a challenge and a tug of war between households.  Neither Mom nor Dad want to be alone during this time and the children inevitably get caught in the middle.

image source; collider film review. Will Ferrel in Everything Must Go

Letting go of our stuff is one of the steps to moving forward but how and when can we do this? That’s the tricky part and there isn’t one perfect answer. Each of us hold different attachments to our things, stuff. We all have various degrees of emotional attachment.  At the outset of divorce we can be a little too hasty in discarding our old life. Until some time passes, we don’t know what these items will mean to us. What memory will they evoke or what part of ourselves will they represent. if any? If you’re not sure right now, then keep them and let some time pass before revisiting their worth.

image source HBO

HBO’s Divorce, the new show starring Sarah Jessica Parker, is both raw and funny.  I read a few reviews that weren’t favorable so my expectations weren’t exactly high. I’m happy to report though, that this show based solely on the Premier episode, has a

image source creative commons

Who’s that girl? They whisper as you walk away. “I used to know her when…” Reluctant to look you in the eye, they’ll watch you walk away. Their eyes burn your back. Talking to one another in hushed tones, they lean together conspiratorially. You would smile and say hello if only they would acknowledge you. Even so, you walk away with your head held high.

image source creative commons

Maybe while we were married we could afford to let a little money ‘go missing’ or be ‘stolen’ from our wallet but things change when we get divorced. If you’re a single parent, you’re likely on a budget or at the very least cognizant of where your pennies are going. Maybe you just want to tighten up your

Memory sketch of the back view of our old home

On facebook the other day, a divorced father and friend of mine (from one of the first divorce support groups I belonged to) posted an interesting set of photos. The status update read “went to see the old house today with the kids. We peeked inside the windows and went in the backyard. I planted that tree and look how big it is now.” He had some of his old photos mixed in with photos he took of the kids beside the tree today. I thought it was really great how he had images of 10 years ago and today, how the kids and trees had grown. Bitter-sweet, I think.

It got me thinking about my recent view of my old marital home, where my babies were born. I didn’t get to walk around and peek in windows. My view was a virtual one. I couldn’t see the back of the house but this sketch is from memory. It’s obvious I’m not an architect 😉 I must practice my sketching skills but I digress.

It’s time again for “Dear Lisa, Reader Question…” I received a good one a few months ago and have been meaning to share it with you. Why? Because the question represents a common problem: A new boyfriend (or girlfriend).  Although their intentions are often good, getting involved in the divorce rarely ‘helps’ the situation.

I have a treat for you today, Escapees. Grab a coffee and get to know Tara Eisenhard, author of a touching book about divorce from a rare point of view.  The D-Word; Divorce Through A Child’s Eyes is a must read for parents and teens alike.

image source; love.designx.com

What’s love got to do with it? Everything. Without it, a marriage will wilt like a plant without water. Unfortunately, people think of extreme reasons for divorce like abuse, cheating or stealing. They forget to look at the obvious. It always comes down to love or the absence of it.

LOVE. It’s a simple four letter word but it’s often misunderstood.

What is love to you and what is it to your spouse?

That answer is often different and that’s why it isn’t always enough to say, I must be in love OR you must love me because _______ (fill in the blank).