A must read. Too Much and Never Enough by Mary L. Trump paints a nuanced picture of a DYSFUNCTIONAL family and the consequences of raising a son who answers to no one and gets everything he wants.

“The World’s Most Dangerous Man” as the author coins him, is now the POTUS without a conscience. Donald Trump, second son of Fred Trump Sr., has risen in the political ranks with a seemingly empty soul. He’s demolished businesses and people along the way. Mary, also a psychologist, sheds light on how he came to be and what it cost her and her father.

Mental Health Analysis

Mary J. Trump lays out the beginnings of Donald’s life story as a witness within the family unit. Her analysis of her uncle is enlightening and her explanation of how he came to be makes for riveting reading.

“The atmosphere of division my grandfather created within the Trump family is the water that Donald has always swum, and division continues to benefit him at the expense of everybody else.”

Also, the author makes no bones about her uncle’s possible mental disorders:

“The fact is Donald’s pathologies are so complex and his behaviors so often inexplicable that coming up with an accurate and comprehensive diagnosis would require a full battery of tests that he’ll never sit for…Donald has been institutionalized for most of his adult life, so there is no way to know how he would thrive, or even survive, on his own in the real world.” p. 13

A Tale of Two Brothers

As I finished the book, I pondered that it could just as well have been titled A Tale of Two Brothers. The dichotomy between Mary’s father (Fred Jr.) and Donald, is apparent from the beginning. Mary explains that in effect, her grandparents had two separate families because of the large age gap between the first three children and then the last two (Donald and Robert). This may seem inconsequential, but because of their mother’s chronic illnesses after the birth of her last child, Donald and Robert did not get the required attention from their mother. This caused a deep wound that would come to dictate much of their personalities as adults. Mary’s theory is rooted in her PhD in psychology.

Most important is the leader of the family’s influence on the children. Fred Senior was a strict father who showed disdain for apologies, play, and joy—the very things that come natural to children.

Fred Junior, the eldest son, was slated to take over Fred Sr.’s empire. A story as old as time. This garnered a great deal of attention and expectation thrust upon Fred junior by his father. Not all attention is good attention though.

What Fred Sr. did not bank on is the fact that his eldest son was not a ‘killer’. Fred worked reluctantly at Trump Management for approximately five years as a young man. He spent that time on construction sites, as well as collecting rents from the Trump Village apartment tenants. He often looked for creative ways to solve problems on the Trump buildings. This is not what his father wanted however. He wanted to save money not spend it to fix his buildings nor to make his tenants more comfortable. It’s quite obvious that Fred Jr was a fun loving, compassionate, intelligent and caring individual. These are not qualities his father recognized as valuable to his business.

When Fred Jr. left his father’s company to pursue his career as a pilot, the rift between father and son deepened. What was worse, is that Fred Jr. truly wanted his father’s approval but it would never come. In fact, Fred Sr. viewed his son’s ambitions as disloyal and unforgiveable.

Fred Jr.’s eventual return to the family business due to pressure from both Donald (who had been made ‘President’ in his absence) and his father, was the beginning of the end. His health suffered as he was constantly under criticism from his father while he watched his youngest brother take over the business without any experience or skills.

When POTUS is your uncle

Mary explains that after Donald became POTUS, seeing his face, hearing his name, seeing his tweets and news in general opened wounds of her past:

“…seeing Donald’s face or hearing my own name, both of which happened dozens of times a day–took me back to the time when my father had withered and died beneath the cruelty and contempt of my grandfather.”  P 15

Family Scapegoats

The demise and the death of Fred Trump Jr. at age 42 can be attributed to the family dynamics. Fred and later his two children were and would continue to be the scapegoats of the Trump family. For example, Fred Sr. cut Mary and her brother Fritz out of his will with the exception of their inheritance of 15% in Midland Associates (Mary’s late father’s trust fund). Still, Mary and her brother would have to fight for that.

The Trump siblings seemed to think it quite rude and insulting that their long-dead sibling’s two children should ask for anything at all, even if it was legally theirs.

Meanwhile Donald would thrive as the Golden Child long past his father’s death. The remaining siblings go along with the monster they call their younger brother because they have learned it’s easier to do so. While they also have too much to lose to go against him.

Donald as President of Anything is Dangerous

But author Mary J Trump reveals the exact numbers regarding the family debt that Donald built up in the early 70’s when he was appointed President of the Trump Organization. Donald used his father’s company as a bank account. He could take as much money as he wanted without accounting for it. At the same time, his real estate business plans were failing one after the other. Americans should be interested in these facts for they represent the risks their president will take regardless of the cost; destruction without remorse.

The fact is, Fred Trump Sr. treated Donald differently than all of his other children. He made use of him to promote the Trump brand with his killer instinct (or I call it ‘lack of empathy’). Well, I think we all know the consequences of that. Today there are multiple lawsuits against Donald, including fraud.

Too Much and Never Enough is a must read book for not only those who are curious about Donald Trump’s family life but for those people who have also suffered in dysfunctional families of origin. The long-term effects of dividing siblings, choosing a golden child, and withholding love and acceptance, are at the forefront of this book. The result is the creation of ‘the world’s most dangerous man’ and the fallout he perpetuates.