image source from unsplash by Didier Weemaels

Ideally, we would hire the best lawyer in town to handle our divorce proceedings. That’s not reality, however. The fact of the matter is very few of us can afford a top lawyer, and even many more can barely afford a bottom of the heap lawyer (not that we would recognize that until we’re half way through).

The sad truth about our divorce law is, it isn’t keeping up with the digital age and does nothing to rectify an economic divide when it comes to legal services.

“I have been a divorce lawyer for 20 years and the last time Canada’s Divorce Act was changed was in 1986, pre-dating the internet. In other words, Family Law in Canada operates as if the internet didn’t happen.”-Andrew Feldstein

That may be slowly changing though I’ll expand on that in a moment.

The question becomes should we spend our children’s education fund or our very last penny in our savings account on a lawyer? What choice do we have and how can we mitigate our financial losses during divorce.

Announcement

My new book available now: A Divorce Companion. This is the perfect accompaniment to my original book, The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage which covers all your needs if you’re an economically dependent spouse initiating a divorce.

A Divorce Companion is complementary in that it tackles many topics in even greater detail. It is the result of five years of

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

Feeling pissed about Cupid this year?  It’s difficult after separation to feel inspired about a day dedicated to love when you feel your heart is broken.  But in order to mend your heart, you have to start loving yourself.

After being away from the blog for three weeks, I thought a catch up over coffee would be in order.

Grab your favorite mug. Mine’s full of Kona coffee (lies). I don’t actually care for Kona coffee…

So, back to reality here. We had a wonderful trip to Hawaii which I’m going to share some photos with you. Unfortunately, we came back to some serious winter weather. I feel like I’m back on the Prairies! I was away for over two weeks and missed you all dearly. I know, you didn’t miss me because it’s the law of vacations. When you’re away, time slows down and while you’re home, time is the same and thus passes quickly. You didn’t have time to miss me…

A dreamy image by artist Kathe Soave

At 4 am we pretty much think of everything and anything. What’s right with the world and what’s wrong. What we love and what we hate. Good and bad.  A time where dreams and reality sometimes collide.

That’s what life is, a collision. Shifting time passages, repetition, dreams and reality mixed in a blender of life.

Go see La La Land. It will put an exclamation point on it.

My Own Personal La La Land

Oh, and it really is 4 am as I write this.

I awoke from a dream. I was washing a dirty pan and although it was coming out clean, I kept scrubbing. Then I fell asleep on the couch (not my couch), in front of the television in a room with a large glass door (not my television or room) that appeared to be open and the gauzy curtain lifted with the in coming breeze.

Well, as promised, I have finished reading and I’m ready to share with you my review of Dr. John T. Chirban’s Collateral Damage; Guiding and Protecting You Child Through the Minefield of Divorce. (And I thought the title of my book was long).  I was given two advance copies for an honest review and giveaway here at the blog. The book is slated for publication this month. That means, the books I have for the giveaway are pre-published editions and as such have no page numbers and the Foreward is not included. 

Last year I rounded up a ‘look back’ at The Great Escape blog. It was interesting to see a year in the life of this little blog, so I’m doing the same here with a slight twist. We’ll end on my (and your) hopes for 2017. My theme for the year is building a dream…a year to build a dream on…because why not?

10 Tips to improve your Christmas post divorce, is something I think will help anyone coping with co-parenting issues over the holidays. One of the most difficult times of the year for divorced and broken families is undoubtedly the Christmas Season.  Especially the first couple of years when it is a time for re-building and transitioning the new family unit.  What makes this even harder is having  to let go of old traditions.  Also, Christmas memories from before the divorce are still raw.  Due to these changes in family dynamics, the holidays become a challenge and a tug of war between households.  Neither Mom nor Dad want to be alone during this time and the children inevitably get caught in the middle.

image source; unsplash

Insomnia is a common problem during divorce. Any time of stress actually, can cause a bad case of insomnia. There’s nothing worse than losing sleep, especially when it’s over things we can’t control. In hopes to alleviate the problem for anyone experiencing insomnia now, I’ve put together five quick tips to help plus a bonus tip. Some are tried and true (no caffeine in the evening) and some are my own remedies (keeping a notebook on my nightstand).

image source; collider film review. Will Ferrel in Everything Must Go

Letting go of our stuff is one of the steps to moving forward but how and when can we do this? That’s the tricky part and there isn’t one perfect answer. Each of us hold different attachments to our things, stuff. We all have various degrees of emotional attachment.  At the outset of divorce we can be a little too hasty in discarding our old life. Until some time passes, we don’t know what these items will mean to us. What memory will they evoke or what part of ourselves will they represent. if any? If you’re not sure right now, then keep them and let some time pass before revisiting their worth.