image source pinterest; photographer name I could not locate.
Forget the sins, let’s talk about the signs. Deadly ones. Meaning if two or more of these are in your relationship then stop, drop and roll it over. In other words, stop any plans for marriage, drop any ideas about long term commitment and roll him gently out the door.
So, what are the 7 deadly signs? I’ve come up with some pretty obvious and some not so obvious signs that the man you’re with may not be meant for you. If you’re divorced and hoping for a second, long term relationship then you’ll want to read on…
OR, if you’re recently engaged but feeling unsure or cold feet, then this is also a must read.
7 Deadly Signs He’s Not The One For You
1. He has a natural aversion to children– Need I explain this? I mean if he doesn’t like children what are the chances he’ll want any of his own, never mind develop affection for the children you already have. Some of these types claim they would like their own but not other people’s children…ummm, ’nuff said.
2. He suffers road rage regularly-Any guy who is always angry ‘behind the wheel’ is displaying a propensity for anger elsewhere. We all suffer road rage once in a while and I’m not saying if a guy displays this at any time—that he’s ready for the roll however, if it’s consistent and ongoing then you should be concerned.
3. He was raised by wolves-He was an orphan or had a horrible upbringing. Unfortunately, these are the ones we feel bad for and have lots of sympathy but these men come with a caveat. You can’t fix what’s broken. Many personality disorders stem from childhood trauma, so unless he has been diligent about working on issues, these may come out in the relationship in the form of narcissistic behavior or high insecurity.
4. He freaks out about his eggs. You wouldn’t think eggs, a most innocuous food, would make the list of 7 deadly signs but hear me out. If he has to have his eggs cooked perfectly and complains in restaurants about them…what else is he going to freak out about?
5. His car is precious. He complains if you shut the door ‘too hard’ or if your shoes are dirty when you get in. He spends inordinate amounts of time and money detailing and cleaning it. It’s a car. An object…
His car didn’t impress Shania and it won’t impress us either.
6. He refuses to talk about sex. If he’s not able to talk about it, how is it going to be part of your life now and in the future? It’s always better to be with a man who is willing and enjoys talking about it and isn’t self conscious about the hot topic of sex.
7. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes. Ever. If he doesn’t get your humor then, trust me it won’t be much fun going through life without a laugh. This works both ways too. If you don’t get his humor but he’s hot, it won’t be enough. A sense of humor is the top of the list for what people look for in a mate and also what long marrieds claim to be their secret.
Just to be clear, if your man has one of these signs, it probably isn’t deadly but if you’re nodding your head at almost all of them? Stop, drop and roll. While we are NOT perfect either, we should be cognizant of some deadly signs that could be portentous of a difficult or unhappy marriage.
All we really want is to find the one who is perfect for us, with all his imperfections. Are you ready to stop, drop and roll or are you on your way down the aisle?
Leave a comment, I love ’em!
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A Year to Build a Dream On | The Great Escape Divorce Support
December 27, 2016 at 2:34 pm[…] began with 7 Deadly Signs He’s Not The One For You. Well, I got right back to business didn’t I? If you are single and looking for new love […]
Jess @UsedYorkCity
January 13, 2016 at 9:08 amLove the chihuahua at the top of the post!;-) All these are super true–not laughing at my jokes would be a total deal breaker for me!
lisa
January 13, 2016 at 6:42 pmHi Jess, Isn’t he cute in an arrogant way? 😉 Being with someone who gets your jokes and you can make laugh until milk comes out their nose is awesome!
Irish Carter
January 11, 2016 at 9:13 pmHi Lisa,
Wow, my ex had 6 of 7 of these….probably 7 of 7 but I didn’t catch it. I’m so glad that part of my life is over. Life is way less stressful for me now. Great article.
Irish
lisa
January 13, 2016 at 6:41 pmHey Irish, so, your ex was a perfect example…we don’t see the flaws though or we might make excuses. That’s human nature. Glad to hear you’re happy now and not under that stress! Thanks for stopping over 🙂
Adrienne
January 11, 2016 at 2:38 pmHey Lisa,
I’ve struck out on every relationship that I’ve ever had. Guess what!
They didn’t have any of the issues you have on this list or even a longer one. Yep, I went to counseling after my divorce to see why I kept attracting the wrong guys.
She went down a very long list of some of the more obvious things to watch out for and none of them fit on that list either. She told me that it’s possible and of course in my instance it was.
I definitely will know what to look for this next time around though if I ever have one. LOL!!!
Great list Lisa and thanks for sharing this one. Have a great week.
~Adrienne
lisa
January 11, 2016 at 8:46 pmHi Adrienne, that’s interesting. So, they don’t have to have any of the warning signs and sometimes they’re just not right for you (us). Absolutely possible. Ha. You certainly will know what to look for (or what not to) going forward. Have a great week and thanks for stopping over to share your point of view!
Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
January 11, 2016 at 12:15 pmI would definitely dump a guy who fit any of these categories. The road rage shows a temper & no control over it, and an aversion to children proves that he is mostly self-centered.
lisa
January 11, 2016 at 8:44 pmHi Marcia, definitely the aversion to children is a weird one and something we need to pay attention to.
marie
January 11, 2016 at 3:33 amFabulous post Lisa! You know what? I caught myself nodding many times…
I never doubted he was not the right for me. I would definitely put a red mark on childhood trauma. With their package of suffering, we tend to think that our duty is to save them and that all the love we have will make the difference. As you say, except if the guy is willing to change, we can’t do anything for him. And most of the time, we ruin our life for somebody who us not worth it.
xoxo
lisa
January 11, 2016 at 8:43 pmHi Marie, well hell yah—we fall in love and think we CAN help or fix but it just isn’t true.
sherill
January 10, 2016 at 6:32 pmThanks for sharing these thought provoking tips . Yes, It really is something to think about if we are in a relationship or planning of getting married soon. We should be aware of these thing if we want to have a long lasting relationship. Very informative post.
lisa
January 11, 2016 at 8:42 pmThanks, Sherill. It’s so true that sometimes we have to be reminded of the signs. 🙂
My Inner Chick
January 10, 2016 at 3:46 pmLisa,
These are brilliant.
And I’d add, if he doesn’t like children, he probably doesn’t like animals.
That’s a real CREEP & a BIG red flag.
xxxxx kissssssssss from MN.
lisa
January 10, 2016 at 6:49 pmHey Kim, aw, thank you! Yes, you’re right about the children and animals. Big red flag, indeed. Thanks for stopping over! xoxoxox
Stella Chiu
January 10, 2016 at 1:15 pmHi, Lisa
Happy New year to you!
I am passing my list to my daughters. What a useful list to check,
If there are no common points, how we can share our life. I don’t mind people point out the mistakes to me, but complain about little physical things such as the way the eggs were cooked. The line need to be drew.
I also love Liv’s suggestion: if the dog does not like him. he can’t stay.
Great list
– Stella Chiu
lisa
January 10, 2016 at 6:48 pmHi Stella, Happy New Year to you, too! That’s a wonderful idea to share this with your daughters. It makes me happy that this will resonate or remind young women of the important red flags…Yes, Liv makes an important point. If the dog don’t like then we shouldn’t either. 🙂
Brenda P
January 8, 2016 at 5:04 pmHey Lisa,
I love your tips! I could remember one guy from my past one just about every point. Sometimes love is so blinding that we don’t even realize the bad. Sad, right?
Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year my friend!
B
lisa
January 10, 2016 at 11:36 amHi Bren, thank you! That’s exactly right. We are blind when we’re falling for someone and deliberately ignore some of these signs. Happy new Year!
Charlotte
January 8, 2016 at 8:15 amThis is amazing and a must-read. Sharing now! Thank god Bryan is a vegan 🙂 HA! Though I also agree with what Tamara said above–how someone treats the waitstaff is so incredibly important. And yes–children is something that cannot be overlooked if a woman (or man!) is hoping to have kids one day. I did that for entirely too long in my previous relationship–my ex was painfully awkward around kids. XOXO and hope you have a great weekend, my love!
lisa
January 8, 2016 at 9:33 amHi Charlotte, that works out well that you’re both vegan 🙂 Aw, that’s too bad about your ex. I think we accept these things with the thought they’ll get better or that they aren’t important. Accept, some things really are bad signs or red flags. If dogs and young children are drawn to him, that’s a definite GOOD sign. Thanks for sharing this! Have a great weekend, too!
Balroop Singh
January 7, 2016 at 10:00 pmHi Lisa
Wow! What an interesting and witty account of a partner who is not right! I love that picture of the BOSS! When you look at him carefully, he has all those traits of arrogance and self- righteousness. It is so apt for this post!! The yellow tie of Mr. perfectionist is awesome!
Your observations are wonderfully correct. The best one of the car, reminds me of a character in one of the movies, picked up from our life…each time his material possessions were not appreciated or cared for, he would shout out the price of that article to remind how valuable it was!
Thank you for a lovely post. You have a knack of putting across serious topics in a light-hearted manner. Stay blessed.
lisa
January 8, 2016 at 9:26 amThank you Balroop! 🙂 Isn’t that pic adorably funny? He is looking down his nose at us. That’s funny about the man yelling out the price of his possessions. Not a good quality in a man LOL. Thanks for stopping over. xo
Harleena Singh
January 7, 2016 at 8:15 pmHi Lisa,
Wishing you a very Happy New Year 🙂
Coming to the post, such apt pointers to keep away from such a person! If you don’t gel and have things in common, nothing is going to work. Yes, if such a person is a finicky kinds, he will crib not only about eggs, but have issues about everything for sure.
Thanks for sharing it with us, and I’d be sharing it further for sure. Have a nice weekend, and a productive year ahead as well 🙂
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 8:46 pmHi Harleena, I know it. Eggs are the hardest things to screw up (cooking) but if your man complains about that then likely he’ll be complaining about everything…thanks for sharing! Happy New Year, Harleena!
Tamara
January 7, 2016 at 5:59 pmNot only about the eggs, but how he treats the wait staff in general is key! I can’t imagine someone with an aversion to children, or animals!
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 8:45 pmSo true, Tamara. If they’re uppity and rude to the wait staff? Look out!! I don’t know how anyone could not love either children or animals. The pure souls in our world.
Liv
January 7, 2016 at 5:55 pmOne more. Dogs don’t like him. Huge.
Great list Lisa!
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 8:42 pmOh, yes that’s a good one, Liv. Thanks for sharing! Animals always sense good or bad in people.
Vanessa D.
January 7, 2016 at 4:45 pmI strongly agree with you that if he’s broke – you can’t fix him. People have to want to be better badly enough to fix themselves, otherwise you’re just draining your own emotional reserves for nothing.
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 6:10 pmExactly true, Vanessa. I guess it’s our nurturing and sympathetic instincts that cause us to think we can fix or help the broken. We need to save our reserves for better returns!
Jane thrive
January 7, 2016 at 4:07 pmHappy new year. Lisa!!
And…omg, my ex had #s 2-6, for real!! 😢😮 ugh!!!
Thanks for your insightful post!!!
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 6:09 pmSo that’s 5/7…yup. Ya know, we tend to downplay and accept some quirky signs but it’s important not to take them lightly. Happy New Year to you, Jane!!
Chrys Fey
January 7, 2016 at 3:51 pmI’m putting myself back into the dating scene after many years, so this is timely. I have these 7 deadly signs imprinted in my mind so I can do a checklist. 😉
lisa
January 7, 2016 at 6:08 pmThat’s so great Chrys! It will be fun and eventful I’m sure. Yes, keep this in your back pocket, LOL.