Dear Escapees, please give my guest blogger a warm welcome…Vishnu has been through a difficult divorce and writes about his experiences in such a way that no one would give up hope in finding love again and happiness in general. I’m delighted to introduce to you, Vishnu of Vishnu’s Virtues…
The Upside of Divorce: 50 Ways Life is Sweeter After One-by Vishnu
“Marriage is like the larvae state to true happiness.” Louis CK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhn0pgbfzf4
I talk a lot about the heartbreak and hardships that divorce brings into our lives, but could it be that there just might be an upside to divorce?
An upside to divorce? Really? Who would ever say there’s a positive side to divorce?
Well, every divorced person whom you could ever possibly talk to!
That’s why the Louis C.K piece above is such a crack-up. Yes, in fact, there are some positive things to life after divorce. I want to thank the reader who sent this to me and invite you to consider some of the upsides of life’s downside.
Take the following 50 ways with a tinge of humor – some of these may be true for you and some may just make you laugh.
[ctt title=”50 Ways Life is Sweeter After Divorce” tweet=”50 Ways Life is Better After Divorce @lisalisathom http://ctt.ec/5ekA2+” coverup=”5ekA2″]
- You can live through anything – once you survive divorce, you’ll be ready for triple bypass surgery or being sent off into battlefields in the Middle East.
- You get to watch what you want on television every single day. You can watch three shows at once and flip through the channels endlessly.
- You don’t have to ask permission to do anything.
- You take your next trip by simply booking your ticket – no discussions needed.
- You’ll start getting healthier and taking better care of yourself. When married, your personal care and looks don’t matter so much. When you’re single again, you start to care about your physical appearance.
- You can eat want you want – there’s no one to count calories for you or remind you of what the doctor said.
- You’ll have peace of mind.
- You’ll experience joy over simple daily pleasures.
- You’ll experience happiness for all the positive things in your life.
- The kids, if you have them, and as Louis CK points out in the video, stay with you only half the time. You become a better parent because you have to be a great parent only half the time!
- You become friends with your ex and actually start liking each other.
- No one is around to criticize you, make fun of you or tell you how inadequate you are.
- All the money you earn is your own.
- You can live in a smaller house and keep it clean!
- You can practice minimalism and live a simpler life. Less stuff, less clothes, less clutter!
- There’s no one holding you back from following your dreams.
- You can decorate the house as you’d like.
- You can decorate the room as you’d like.
- There’s no waiting for the bathroom!
- You don’t have to put up with your ex’s bad habits.
- You don’t have to repeatedly remind someone else to do something – unless you have kids, of course!
- You don’t have to spend time with your ex’s family; hey, this might actually start looking pretty good to you if you’re married today!
- No more mothers-in-law!
- You can start over and you have a second shot to create the kind of life you want.
- You can go back to school if you feel like it or start an entirely new career.
- You can dress as you’d like – you don’t have to listen to anyone else’s input on the clothes you wear.
- There’s no need to pick up shoes and clothes lying all over your room and house.
- There’s no one turning your house into a mess and no need to spend all day cleaning it up.
- You can be friends and hang out with the people you enjoy spending time with.
- You can buy as many shoes as you’d like. Buy as many jackets as you’d like. As many purses as you’d like…
- No one’s rushing you when you go shopping (except the kids, of course…).
- Cooking for one is much easier than cooking for two – take-out anybody?
- Instead of having your ex fix things around the house, you can hire a professional who does the job correctly and for surprisingly less than you expected.
- You won’t spend time figuring out how to change your ex!
- You’ll have freedom.
- You’ll have Independence.
- You can have late nights out on weekdays. Happy hours – every day!
- You have fewer obligations to attend boring family events you had no interest in going to anyway.
- Insight and reflections are opportunities for self-improvement – no one would have taught you more about yourself than your ex.
- You experience the excitement of dating and meeting new people. You have the added benefit of knowing who is good for you and who you should stay away from.
- If your divorce is done, you’re done with divorce lawyers and divorce court. Hallelujah!
- No more couples counseling – which only made you more agitated after the session than you were before it.
- Not speaking to your ex again is a gift that keeps on giving.
- No more disagreements about politics, religion, social issues or world issues.
- No oneis holding you back or keeping you away from the life you desire.
- Your kis grow up in happy households without bitter fights between you and your ex.
- No moe fighting, screaming or emotional breakdowns because of your ex.
- You n longer have to spend hours talking to your friends about all the problems in your marriage.
- You don’t have to be someone else – you can fully embrace who you are and show up in the world as your authentic self.
- After divorce, you’ll practice more humility, compassion and kindness to others who have gone through serious life shake-ups or divorces themselves. Nothing makes you more empathetic and compassionate than surviving a divorce.
If you’re still married and want to remain so, make it work! Do the work.
If you’re running out of options and divorce seems inevitable, know that it’s not the end of the world.
There are a few silver linings and many benefits of life after divorce
Vishnu writes a popular self-help and divorce blog at
www.vishnusvirtues.com. He has been writing since college where his famous, family newsletter column has turned into a blog. He shares his 4 year journey of divorce along with his spiritual, emotional and personal insights. He writes about overcoming divorce and specifically, how to overcome the shame and stigma of divorce in the Indian community. His “eat, pray, love” journey (again, post divorce) has taken him to Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Burma and India. In his spare time Vishnu reads, writes, meditates and spends times at the beaches in sunny Southern California.
Cannon Law
January 22, 2019 at 3:31 amNow I know from my own experience that this list is absolutely true!
phoenix men
May 22, 2018 at 11:23 pmGreat Blog and Really Helpful. When it’s over When you split up, you may find it very hard to let go of your ex-partner. This often happens when one partner is keener to end a relationship than the other. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important.
lisa
May 23, 2018 at 3:38 pmThanks, Phoenix men. Good tip about letting go. It takes time though for sure. Thanks for stopping by.
sherill
February 4, 2016 at 11:34 pmhi, great points here, it put a smile on my face because they seem to be all positive in a way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Great read!
lisa
February 5, 2016 at 2:10 pmHi Sherill, excellent. I’m so glad this made you smile. We have Vishnu to thank. 😉
Liv
January 24, 2016 at 5:04 pmAdmittedly the only negative I’ve found in my divorce is because of the kids I’m still “attached”. The rest – all positive. Great post”
lisa
January 26, 2016 at 2:08 pmHi Liv, that’s great and having that contact through the kids takes patience. Sigh. Glad to hear your experience has been mostly positve!
Mansi Padhya
January 20, 2016 at 10:22 pmHi Lisa,
Thanks for sharing these ways to be sweeter after divorce. And i appearance to your blog. It’s really helpful ways to give people hope, inspiration and a laugh after the divorce. This will make them feel better.
Thank you. Have a great day.. 🙂
lisa
January 21, 2016 at 10:15 pmThanks, Mansi. So glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Jess @UsedYorkCity
January 19, 2016 at 6:30 amThese are great! Haha loved the “no need to pick up shoes and clothes all over the house”…the struggle is real!!!
lisa
January 19, 2016 at 1:27 pmHi Jess, isn’t it though? We know just how messy we are when we live alone—LOL. No one to blame.
Vishnu
January 20, 2016 at 9:07 pmThanks Lisa – glad you enjoyed them 🙂 very real!!
Jodi
January 19, 2016 at 5:04 amVishnu and Lisa. These are hysterical. Humor is so healing!
Love,
Jodi
lisa
January 19, 2016 at 1:27 pmHi Jodi, absolutely true that humor heals! Nice to see you 🙂
Vishnu
January 20, 2016 at 10:53 pmThanks Jodi!
Marie
January 18, 2016 at 6:39 amSee the positive always. I agree with most of the points on Vishnu’s list. After divorce, you fell free again. And a new life can start. It’s tough at the beginning and then you realized you took the best decision of your life!
Thanks both for this amazing post.
Vishnu
January 18, 2016 at 10:32 pmYOu pretty much sumed it up Marie. Thanks for your comment – glad it resonated.
lisa
January 19, 2016 at 1:28 pmHi Marie, exactly true that the beginning is a huge adjustment and not easy. But seeing the bright side always helps get through the tough times. Thanks for stopping over!
Stella Chiu
January 15, 2016 at 7:24 pmHi,Vishnu/Lisa.
I love the humor in this post. I laughed as I read along.
Divorce is never easy for anyone. The bad experience in the process of divorce provides most valuable experience for each of us. After a period of grief, it is time to pick yourself up by locking at the bright side of divorce.
I believe your post will give comfort and hope for many newly divorce persons. It sure is a good thing.
Will share!
-Stella Chiu
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:55 pmHi Stella, yes I think Vishnu’s list will really cheer up some divorced folks and that’s such a positive! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Vishnu
January 17, 2016 at 9:53 pmThanks for your comment, Stella. I hope others find comfort and a little humor in one of the most stressful experiences any of us can ever experience. Appreciate Lisa featuring my post on her blog.
Jane thrive
January 14, 2016 at 5:22 pmHilarious!! And true in many ways!!!
Vishnu
January 15, 2016 at 9:42 amThank you for reading…glad you enjoyed it!
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:29 amRight? 😛
Chrys Fey
January 14, 2016 at 2:04 pmNice points. Many of them made me laugh. I’ll have to pass this off to the two ladies I know going through a divorce right now. This will make them feel better.
Vishnu
January 14, 2016 at 4:22 pmthanks Chrys – I hope it gives them a good laugh. and a dose of hope too 🙂 there are some upsides to divorce we all eventually realize.
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:30 amHi Chrys, so glad this will cheer up some of your friends going through it right now!
Adrienne
January 14, 2016 at 9:11 amHey Lisa, nice to see a guest over here and I really enjoyed this post.
That was really funny Vishnu and I can definitely relate because I’ve been divorced for 25 years now. I have to agree with Louis, marriage isn’t for everyone and I learned quickly that it’s definitely not for me. I’m SO spoiled having been alone all these years that I think I would make a horrible partner now.
Luckily though I don’t have children so I don’t have to see my ex again and that’s a very good thing. It ended badly for a reason but I never really even think about it anymore, haven’t for years.
Thanks for the chuckle, that made my day and loved the video clip.
Hope you two enjoy your day and what’s left of this week.
~Adrienne
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:29 amI’m SO happy for you Adrienne, that you’re in a great place and loving your independence! Thanks for commenting 🙂
Vishnu
January 18, 2016 at 10:03 pmGlad you enjoyed it Adrienne and sounds like you enjoyed divorce so much, you went the single life! 🙂 Thank you for your comment and for sharing your own story.
Charlotte
January 14, 2016 at 8:25 amHello Vishnu–lovely to see you at Lisa’s place today. Welcome! It was lovely to read your words, but I think what struck me the most is your beautiful positivity. And you’re absolutely right–there are things in life we simply have little to no control over, but how we RESPOND to it all makes all the difference.
Love that you are now fully embracing who you are AND eager about the next exciting chapter in your life.
Loved the video, too. Thanks for sharing your words here!
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:27 amThanks. Charlotte for leaving a comment. Our reaction can make or break our situation, for sure. I love Vishnu’s positive outlook and his website and blog really reflect that.
Vishnu
January 18, 2016 at 10:37 pmHI Charlotte – thanks for the kind comments and glad you were able to see the positivity behind the words – a much different place today than when I went through my divorce. I didn’t always see things this way and Louis Ck definitely helped change my perspective too 🙂
Harleena Singh
January 14, 2016 at 12:17 amHi Vishnu, and good to see you at Lisa’s place today 🙂
Divorce is never easy for anyone, and one can make out the pain through the humor in the post as well – no don’t worry, it won’t encourage the married lots to go for divorce!
Time is a healer and we overcome the pain. You are right, instead of staying in a relationship that isn’t working (after you tried your best), it’s best to move out than to go through the daily struggle. Much happier this way for sure, and I am glad you found your life’s purpose and a new direction also this way.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead, both of you 🙂
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:25 amThank you, Harleena!”It’s best to move out than to go through the daily struggle.” —You hit it right on 🙂
Vishnu
January 18, 2016 at 10:57 pmThanks Harleena for your visit and comment too. Yes, it is a much happier way and lots of good things can come out of the worst times in our life. HOpe you have a good week too and thank you again for your kind words.
Balroop Singh
January 13, 2016 at 7:30 pmHi Vishnu,
Welcome to my dear friend Lisa’s island of bliss! It is such a pleasure to meet you here. Your witty style makes even the worst cynic smile. Thanks for sharing a wonderful post.
Your post reveals some of the very serious flaws that one has to live with if the spouse is not the right one. Living in the same house with a person who doesn’t care about your freedom of speech and thought, who has the guts to ridicule or comment on what you eat, who puts restrictions even on your desires!! It is better to be single than put up with all those points you have highlighted.
I wish you great success with your latest book. I am spreading the word. Thanks for offering it free.
Thank you Lisa.
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:25 amThanks, Balroop for sharing your valuable voice here!
Vishnu
January 18, 2016 at 10:29 pmBalroop, I heard about Lisa’s blog through your site and didn’t realize that we both talk about very similar issues so thank you for the connection. haha – i laughed at your line about making the worst cynic smile 🙂 victory:) yes, no spouse over a bad spouse 🙂 but a suitable and compatible spouse maybe a different story. Thanks for your comment Balroop!
Martha Bodyfelt
January 13, 2016 at 5:32 pmThanks for the post, Vishnu! I laughed with delight at so many of these because they’re SO true! Even in the roughest initial days of the separation, the sense of calm I received when my house actually stayed clean and there was no dirty underwear thrown on the couch–was something that gave me peace right away. Hopefully more people will come to understand those immediate benefits of no longer being in a healthy marriage.
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:24 amHi Martha, It’s a great list Vishnu has put together! I remember feeling that calm as well at the initial phase. There are always little positives we can find. Thanks for stopping over, Martha 🙂
Vishnu
January 17, 2016 at 9:55 pmhi Martha – I think the shock of initial divorce can be so overwhelming that we forget to appreciate what is going in our favor and what we can appreciate in the situation. Hopefully, people will remember that there are small but substantial benefits of life after divorce. Thanks for your comment.
Keith Clarke
January 13, 2016 at 3:53 pmHey Vishnu,
I love the humour in this. I can relate to many of these!
I have gone through two marriage endings. Yes, two 🙂 I feel like Edison and his, “I have not failed, I have found 10,000 ways that don’t work” 😉 And honestly, the last few years of reflection and experience have left me knowing myself much better and feeling a lot more comfortable about relationships than I ever was 🙂
It can be an extremely painful experience to go through, but then, isn’t most valuable growth?
Vishnu
January 13, 2016 at 10:47 pmmost painful, most growth, and can we say most humorous – years years down the road? Hope the post helped you realize the many many benefits of divorce. I was telling Lisa, I hope this doesn’t encourage more divorces:) Thanks for your comment Keith. NOt knowing how something works is usually a prerequisite to figuring out how something does, right 🙂 !? thanks for your visit and comment.
Keith Clarke
January 15, 2016 at 10:44 amMy pleasure, Vishnu. As always 🙂
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:32 amHi Keith, thanks for stopping over and sharing here at my little blog. Cheers!
Keith Clarke
January 15, 2016 at 10:44 amYou’re most welcome, Lisa 🙂
Mohammed Basheer
January 13, 2016 at 10:33 amThis is my first comment, first appearance to your blog, you have shared a great info what newbie like me are eagerly looking for.
Thanks.
Vishnu
January 13, 2016 at 10:44 pmThanks for your comment, Mohammed and welcome to Lisa’s blog!
lisa
January 15, 2016 at 10:32 amWelcome, Mohammed 🙂
lisa
January 13, 2016 at 10:30 amHi Vishnu, thank you so much for being my guest today! I just love your list and it will certainly inspire and give hope to many going through divorce. I look forward to reading your book as well!
Vishnu
January 13, 2016 at 10:09 pmThanks so much for the opportunity, Lisa!! I hope it does give people hope, inspiration and a laugh. I certainly did not laugh very much while going through divorce but in retrospect and with a much healthier perspective, there are a lot of good things:) I hope this doesn’t encourage people to start a divorce revolution lol thanks again for sharing my post here and the book plug:)