In honor of my 50th birthday…gulp…I’m sharing my humble list of 50 things I’ve learned in 50 years. Some things are funny. Some are things you’ll say “She’s just figured that out now?” Yes, I’m still figuring things out…so please have a read and a laugh. I have a special request for you though, before you make too much fun of me, share at least one thing you’ve learned in the comments 🙂
50 Things I’ve Learned…in no particular order;
1. Turning 50 is strange because I still feel 25
2. You won’t please everyone, so please yourself
3. Granny panties are underrated
4. You cannot cook brown and white rice together. Ever. Here’s why:
How can you screw up making Basmati rice? Start with 1/2 cup white rice (that’s all that’s left in the bag) add 1/2 cup of brown to make it healthy. WRONG. Brown takes 20 mins longer to cook than white. No problem, pour out the brown into a separate pot. Kay, pick out the brown grains from the white grains (couldn’t get them all). No problem. No one will notice. Place tight fitting lid on when the boiling begins. Can’t find the lid to the pot. Have looked in every friggin’ cabinet, even the dishwasher and washing machine. No problem. Put a pan over the pot…? Didn’t work. Ordering take out later. I shouldn’t cook. THE END.
5. Be careful at MARTINI parties, if you have too many you’ll tell someone off, fall on the floor and then get carried home by your friends
6. On the subject of booze; if you lick your wine glass (at the rim only, not the whole glass, silly) before sipping you won’t leave a lipstick mark
7. On the subject of lipstick “Liz Taylor had it right…”[ctt title=”Pour yourself a drink. Put on some lipstick and pull yourself together!” tweet=”Pour yourself a drink. Put on some lipstick and pull yourself together-Liz Taylor @lisalisathom” coverup=”g3QDN”].”
image source; Pinterest
[ctt title=”Divorce is a process not an event. lisalisathom” tweet=”Divorce is a process, not an event ” coverup=”bhfa2″]
9. People are more important than ‘things’ (although cashmere, diamonds and silk are lovely)
10. Avoid commenting on a person’s body parts; i.e. refrain from asking “did you get a boob job?” (someone asked me that not long ago)
11. During Battle, know when to throw in the towel but don’t give up too soon
12. Some people you will never please. No. Matter. What.
13. Sometimes it’s okay to drink the whole bottle of wine
14. Love trumps all
15. Laundry doesn’t have to be complicated-put it all in the dryer, (note to self) stop obsessing over perfectly wrinkle free shirts and jeans that won’t fade
16. A little dust is a sign of a happy home
17. A nod and a smile is sometimes the right answer
18. Your kids need a hug more than a lecture
19. True friends are the wine of life
20. Jelly fish friends, the type that sting, are better left behind
21. It isn’t easy being right
22. Don’t attempt a self bikini wax
23. Everyone has their own truth, even about the same event
24. Single moms and dads are some of the best parents out there
“[ctt title=”When everything seems wrong it’s time for a nap” tweet=”When everything seems wrong, it’s time for a nap @lisalisathom” coverup=”QkLgr”]
26. Wearing a bra that fits is like getting a boob job, but don’t ask…
27. There’s nothing wrong with peanut butter sandwiches for dinner on occasion
28. If you’re having a bath with your lover make sure a candle doesn’t fall in the water, you’ll be cleaning wax off your tub for weeks
29. GRATITUDE really works
[ctt title=”Being scared is often the beginning of something great” tweet=”Being scared is often the beginning of something great @lisalisathom” coverup=”uzbI4″]
31. Promises made with the best intentions are often broken
32. The only PROMISES I make are to myself and I sometimes break those
33. A road trip with a girlfriend is good for the soul
Judy and I just arrived at Cedra Wooley for an unforgettable girls night
34. If you lick a frozen fire hydrant your tongue will stick, no matter what your brother says
35. I’m WORTHY and so are you
36. Everyone is facing something tough, especially after 50 years on the planet
37. Pay attention to ‘signs’ because if you ignore them they get bigger and more disturbing
38. If someone tells you at your wedding that your groom looked bored during the first dance, you still have time to annul the nuptials
“[ctt title=”Always trust your gut instincts your intuition your heart-they’re rarely wrong” tweet=”Always trust your gut instincts, your intuition, your heart–they’re rarely wrong @lisalisathom” coverup=”vc8Cr”].
40. I am the fragrant breeze of a summer’s night that turns the pages of his dreams…I know this because he told me in a poem.
41. “WAITING is the mystical space between the dreaming and its coming true”-I read that somewhere.
42. When you feel like you’re losing your mind, you’re probably finding it.
43. We all have BEAUTY
44. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”-Maya Angelou was right
45. Sometimes a line in a movie resonates and you hear it in your mind at random moments—here’s mine
[jwplayer mediaid=”6224″]
Her marriage was over …
“[ctt title=”Don’t spend time with people who don’t VALUE you” tweet=”Don’t spend time with people who don’t VALUE you @lisalisathom” coverup=”6zanb”]
47. Don’t take an online IQ test after drinking wine
48. Don’t give anyone a back stage pass to your life
49. Lawyers don’t have all the answers, sometimes you have to BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE
50. Be the HEROINE of your own life
51. Self acceptance is a process of accepting the good, the bad and the ugly
So, tell me dear readers what have you learned? Tell me as many as you like!
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Sherill
October 10, 2014 at 12:59 amYour post really made my day. It made me laugh and it made me smile. Knowing that what we go through whether good or bad is just how life goes and what matters is how we react to it and how we adapt is what makes us who we are. Having a support group whether family or friends is always a good thing to have.
lisa
October 10, 2014 at 9:12 amThank you, Sherill! Great reminder, you’ve shared. Our reaction is more important than the action 🙂
Mike
October 7, 2014 at 5:07 pm#2, #4 (again), #10 – I learned this from a girlfriend 14 years ago. She called them “new shoes”. I’ve got a couple dozen of my friends (both male and female) who now use that term for implants , #12, #14, #17, #19, #26 – wait, what? I can’t ask? But…because…you know…boobs, #27 – with mayonnaise, #31 & #32 are so spot on, #43, #44 (you know me and movie trivia), #47 – I just DID this!…with beer, #51 – you knocked that one of out of the park and for me has gone right in line with self-awareness. I got an email off to you on your special day yet I wanted to come back and read and comment to this. A very Happy Birthday to you again and honest, HONEST…I thought you were in your 30’s. xo’s your friend, Mike
lisa
October 7, 2014 at 5:17 pmAw, Mike it’s so great to see you here again. You made me read my numbers again and LOL. You’ve made some of these even better. New shoes, huh? Too funny. Thanks again, for your Birthday email you sent! So kind of you to think of me and to think of me as 30ish….HA, love it! Thanks for stopping over and commenting. I’ve missed you.
Stephanie Faris
October 7, 2014 at 6:41 amI love these. Especially the one about the rice. I’m a horrible cook!!! I definitely don’t feel my age. I guess it’s just a number…it’s depressing to think how quickly time passes, though.
lisa
October 7, 2014 at 9:17 amHi Stephanie, yes the rice incident was a great excuse to order in the next time, lol. It’s just a number for sure and I guess we’re lucky to get another birthday…thanks for stopping over and leaving a comment!
Harleena Singh
October 5, 2014 at 9:17 amHi Lisa,
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday (if I am late of course!) 🙂
I had a good laugh reading through some of the 50 things you shared…amazing indeed.
Thanks for sharing, and hope you have many more glorious years. BTW – You don’t look that old at all – young at heart always, isn’t it? 🙂
lisa
October 5, 2014 at 9:24 amThanks, Harleena! Yes ‘young at heart’ is the only way to be. Glad you enjoyed reading my humble lessons 🙂
Joy Christi
October 4, 2014 at 3:17 pmThis is awesome! I did not know that about the wine glass, but then again I never wear lipstick anymore. And usually drink wine out of a coffee mug.
The right bra is EVERYTHING!
One thing I’ve learned:
“Don’t skimp on your bed and your shoes. If you’re not in one, you’re in the other.” We all need good support!
Happy 50th!
lisa
October 4, 2014 at 3:25 pmHi Joy, oh that’s a great point about the bed and the shoes. There’s nothing better than climbing into a well ‘made’ bed with lovely sheets and duvet. Shoes? Ah, I need to go shopping 🙂 Thanks for sharing here!
Jodi Aman
October 3, 2014 at 6:05 pmEveryone has their own truth, even about the same event
Too true. I love so many but this jumped off the page.
lisa
October 4, 2014 at 11:29 amRight? That’s what makes things so hard sometimes…sigh. Thanks, Jodi!
My Inner Chick
October 2, 2014 at 6:15 pmF*cking Brilliant.
I love love love all of these words of wisdom, Lisa.
I am posting Elizabeth Taylor’s quote on my facebook!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You look MAAAARVELOUUUUS! The world is so much sweeter because you are here.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lisa
October 2, 2014 at 6:17 pmAw, Kim thank you! What a nice thing to say. You made my day 🙂 <3 xo
lynne
October 2, 2014 at 4:05 pmHi, loved your post. I’ll be turning 50 in a couple of months from now, and Life has taught me so many things. The quote that says ” when everything seems wrong, it’s time for a nap”, I really love to do that (lol). Thanks for sharing a very refreshing post.
lisa
October 2, 2014 at 6:18 pmThanks, Lynne! Naps are good for the soul and improving our outlook at life (at least that what I tell myself). Almost welcome to the ‘club’!
Jane Thrive
October 2, 2014 at 1:08 pmLearning to love and forgive yourself is a constant journey–but one that will help you heal.
Happy Birthday, Lisa! 🙂
p.s. re: the brown/white rice–you can cook them together, it just sounds like you may need to invest in a small rice cooker. rice cookers are way better (and easier and stress-free!) than the pot-on-the-stove method. 🙂
lisa
October 2, 2014 at 3:04 pmThanks, Jane! Great idea on the rice cooker. I think I had one many years ago, should have taken it when I got divorced 🙂
jane thrive
October 2, 2014 at 4:38 pmp.p.s. I love all the things you listed–laughed a lot and also feel like I’m learning so many new things in my firm “middle” age. 🙂 Thanks for your great post!
lisa
October 2, 2014 at 6:19 pmIf I made you laugh, Jane then I’m delighted. Some of the shit I’ve learned has made me laugh, even when other people might not think it’s funny.
tracie @ beets+birch
October 2, 2014 at 10:03 amhappy birthday! can i just say i love this post! LOVE! so many good things!
excited to read more of your work!
i had someone ask if i had a boob job just as she was getting a hand full to check! oh hell drunk random chick. no. not even my close friends rock up on my boobie-liciousness!
btw i didn’t really get boobs until i got a good bra.. so i hear ya… good bras=good boobs.
thank you so much for stopping by my little space and for following along!
x+o
lisa
October 2, 2014 at 11:56 amThanks, Tracie! So glad you stopped by and thanks for your comment 🙂 OMG, a handful, too? People sure have some balls. She must have been experiencing boob envy! 😛
Charlotte
October 1, 2014 at 1:00 pmWHO IN THE HELL ASKED IF YOU GOT A BOOB JOB?! No stinking way. *facepalm
Love this: A little dust is a sign of a happy home. In that case, my home is PROZAC NATION.
“If you’re having a bath with your lover make sure a candle doesn’t fall in the water, you’ll be cleaning wax off your tub for weeks” good to know. ☺
Love this list. So very much. Many many life lessons were learned in your YOUNG 50 years, my sweet.
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 1:06 pmHey Charlotte, it was actually my sister…I couldn’t believe it b/c I thought she, of all people would know I wouldn’t do something so stupid! Maybe she was trying to tell me I’ve put on weight? HA! Glad you enjoyed my humble list of things I’ve learned. Your house is Prozac Nation…too funny!! Thanks for stopping over and sharing 🙂
Tamara
October 1, 2014 at 8:24 amI think #42 is my favorite, and I’ve been learning that lately. Falling apart is just part of the process of putting yourself together more whole. True story.
And no asking about boob jobs..
I’m 34 and still feel 18… so it’s nice to know that doesn’t change much.
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 9:07 am#42 is a hard one but necessary for growth. People will say “she’s crazy” but that’s just because they’re uncomfortable seeing the changes in you. At least, that was my experience. You’re 18 in your heart, Tamara and that probably will never change. Thanks for stopping over :)! p.s ya, what’s with the boob job thingy? As if I would ever…ridiculous.
Michelle
October 1, 2014 at 6:22 amWhat a great list!!! And welcome to the fifties! I am quite fond of them so far…
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 7:35 amHi Michelle, great to hear that you’re liking the 50’s. It’s a club I’m proud to be a part of 🙂
Bren Lee
October 1, 2014 at 5:30 amOMG girl! You’re killing me with these! LOL
Happy Birthday beautiful one! I would have never thought you were turning 50. 25 seems like a better age! Rock it out girly!
B
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 7:34 amAw, thanks Bren! Rockin’ it out!
Michelle
October 1, 2014 at 5:13 amHoly 50 Batman! I hope I look (and sound) as awesome when it’s my turn in a few short years. You have owned every single one of those 50 years Lisa, I hope that you look back on them with great pride…strength is something nobody else can give you.
I like the losing your mind and finding it idea…I’ve been spending a WHOLE lotta time inside mine and it seems to want to swallow me up…I guess it’s happy I’m finding it. lol
Happy happiest of birthdays!
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 7:34 amThank you so much Michelle! You will certainly Rock your 50th! Yes, you’re finding your mind and it’s a process. It will get easier!
Rashmi
October 1, 2014 at 3:05 amHappy Birthday Lisa! You sure dnt look like you are 50 !!
Loved this post! definitely some great points out there to pick up!
lisa
October 1, 2014 at 7:32 amThank you, Rashmi and welcome! SO glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
Balroop Singh
September 30, 2014 at 7:47 pmHi Lisa
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can’t believe you are 50, you just look 25, so you are right in feeling so.
This is a fantastic list! Absolutely wholesome. What strikes me is that you seem to be full of life…so are no wonder feeling 25. Love that thought!
I agree with you – we all have beauty, we are worthy and yes the best one is – a little dust…..though I realised it quite late but now I know it very well.
I too have learnt lot though I am mentioning just a few:
You are your best companion, befriend yourself.
Forgive ALL! It gives you a weird peace of mind.
Relax and enjoy, life is slipping by!
Nothing is more precious than your own health.
Some friends are like old wine, totally dependable.
New friends can be SO loving as you!
Wishing you a day full of love and fun and celebrations! Stay Blessed!
lisa
September 30, 2014 at 8:15 pmAw, thank you Balroop! Your comment is so heartfelt and I love your list of things you’ve learned! Thanks for sharing here 🙂
Liv
September 30, 2014 at 5:10 pmGreat list Lisa!! Happy Birthday!
lisa
September 30, 2014 at 5:45 pmThanks, Liv!
Naked Girl in a Dress
September 30, 2014 at 12:41 pmI wrote a 40-things posts several years ago. 40 things you should have and 40 things you should know by 40. I loved creating it! Here are a few:
~Buy the fabulous, impractical shoe on sale; it will haunt you otherwise.
~Love is not enough for a successful relationship.
~People won’t change no matter how hard you try to make them.
~Embrace your past; it shaped who you are.
~Life isn’t a dress rehearsal.
lisa
September 30, 2014 at 1:44 pmThose are great, Kelly! Thanks for sharing here. I especially love the last 2. #1 is so true as well. 🙂