I originally wrote this as a guest writer. The site owner pulled it off her site when she was warned by Google that it is considered p*rn. It’s hardly p*rn. With the trailer for the film version of the 50 Shades book series released, I thought it timely to share this post with you.
50 Shades of Grey-My Boyfriend’s T-Shirt Drawer–by Lisa
When I hear someone mention the book 50 Shades of Grey, all I can picture is my boyfriend’s t-shirt drawer. Okay, there might be the odd navy or white thrown in, but seriously it’s a sea of grey. When I should be picturing hot sex, I’m picturing his t-shirts. If you don’t believe me come on over and take a look in his drawer. You will be amazed. Everyday. Grey t-shirt. Every night. Grey t-shirt. Out to dinner? Grey t-shirt…
The first time I heard of this book it made me think of an art class shading scale exercise. Tedious. For those of you who haven’t tried this exercise it is far from orgasmic. You take your pencils, make a column of 10 boxes (see you’re bored already) and start shading the boxes from lightest to darkest until your grey becomes black. I wasn’t kidding when I said tedious and you can understand why I’m perplexed by this title. It does not evoke eroticism. Was the author aware of that? Oh, it’s the name of the main character? Still, who names her male lead after the most boring (non)color on earth?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not equating sex with tedium. E.L. is the one who named her book after the shading scale.
Another problem I have with this book is it seems everyone gifted it to their mothers. Right there, it just feels wrong. Just, NO. For example, my mother and MIL are reading this series of books. Do I really want to read the same and think I wonder what MIL thought of that part? Uh, no thanks. Okay, that said could I use some erotica to spice up my sex life? Sure!
Erotic fiction can be, shall we say, stimulating and I enjoy an erotic book now and then. Anne Rice had this genre nailed down tight, long before E.L. came along. For some fantastic erotic writing read the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. It would be a nice addition to your erotica collection, promise.
Never mind the books and the film, soon we’ll be able to get the sex toys. Also, you guessed it, in shades of grey. I think I prefer pink. I suppose what we’ll need next is the 50 shades of grey ‘how to’ instructional DVD. For the love of God, don’t tip off E.L. James on this idea.
Erotica books evoke fantasy and bringing those characters to life in film surely takes something away from that. Films and movies rarely live up to the book they’re based on. On another note, what’s E.L.’s real name? It appears she’s as embarrassed as I am about the content of this ‘book’.
For all of you fans out there I apologize if I have offended you but there’s little you can do about it whilst handcuffed to your (or someone else’s) bed.
Finally, unless someone has a spare, ahem, used copy of this book I can borrow, I’ll have to resort to my boyfriend’s t-shirt drawer for my grey fix. Happy sexing to you all. Here’s hoping it’s more colorful than grey. Meanwhile, I leave you with some Shades of Sexy that are ironically in many shades of grey.
All images from sex-lust-love.tumblr don’t go there if you’re under 18 or offended by sex, mkay?
Have you read 50 Shades of Grey trilogy? Who’s your favorite erotica writer?
p.s. I will be taking a blogging break for a while to work on other unfinished projects.
Comments are closed.
Design by ThemeShift.
Ellen M. Gregg
August 25, 2014 at 5:09 amHi, Lisa! Very clever, that. I don’t suppose Ms. James was thinking fruit of that loom when she and her publisher worked out the title of the titillating trilogy. (Now you know I love alliteration.)
I’ve read the entire 50 Shades trilogy. I confess it was painful, from paragraph one, because the editing was non-existent. The story itself was actually good in the sense that it pulled you along for the ride. Shame on the publisher – who is still making untold millions – for not investing in some basic editing to clean the writing up. It frosts me quite a bit considering how little they pay their authors.
Anyway. I love the color grey on men, especially. There’s something about it that begs me to find an opportunity to run my hand over the chest and/or back of a man wearing a grey t-shirt – whether I know him or not. 😉
lisa
August 25, 2014 at 7:29 amOh, Ellen your alliteration is a riot! You make a great point about the publisher. That really they should have taken more care in ensuring it was edited properly. Do they pay their authors anything until it sells millions? Well, the publishing industry has turned upside down and in some ways it’s great becasue we’re accessing much more variety in books/authorship. It’s not so great as the author is left to market and take care of everything while the publisher profits. I guess I’ve gone off topic. Haha, you would find my guy irresistible in his multitude of grey 🙂
Harleena Singh
August 18, 2014 at 8:57 pmHi Lisa,
Hope you had a nice little break and managed to get over with your pending projects too 🙂
Just like the rest have mentioned, I don’t see this as porn at all, though the pictures can say a lot, but these again are well covered! Not read the novel mentioned, though grey was one of my Mom’s favorite color, along with white and black. I’m more of the colored kind 🙂
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
lisa
August 18, 2014 at 9:05 pmHi Harleena, yes I’ve been working on my other things and feeling productive. I’m glad you like colors instead of grey LOL. I’m sure your Mom always looked classy though. Sometimes I need bright pink or bright blue. So, very few of us have actually read these books as it turns out. I still might see the movie. TKS for stopping by!
Alison
August 18, 2014 at 5:46 amI got to chapter 5 I think, of the book, and just couldn’t read it. Not that I’m opposed to erotica, I’m just against bad writing 🙂
lisa
August 18, 2014 at 8:31 amHi Alison, it must be pretty bad to leave it at Ch. 5 🙂 Well, you gave it a try. I didn’t even try it. TKS for sharing.
Jagbir Sandhu
August 12, 2014 at 10:51 amI am very happy that I found this during my search for something concerning this. I have read your article completely and i have gained a lot from it. I m a new reader and happy to have found you. I look forward to reading more posts in the future. I’m impressed by your blogging.
Excellent blog, Thanks so much for sharing.
lisa
August 12, 2014 at 1:06 pmThank you, Jagbir and welcome. :0
Liv
August 8, 2014 at 12:26 pmSkipped the books after I found out my MOM was reading them. I just don’t want to know.
lisa
August 8, 2014 at 4:23 pmThat’s exactly what happened to me. Thanks for stopping by, Liv!
Chrys Fey
August 5, 2014 at 10:06 amI did read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy because I was curious and my sister lent me the books. I had them for months before I decided to rip off the Band-aid. I personally didn’t think they were as erotic as they were made out to be. Some parts just made me cringe, and not in a good way. I also didn’t think the writing was as bad as many say, but that’s my personal opinion. I did enjoy them, but not as much as everyone else I know. Now the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice is true erotic! Wowza! LOL
lisa
August 5, 2014 at 5:19 pmHi Chrys, so you read them all. A friend of mine said the same thing about ‘cringing’ in parts 😉 thanks for sharing your thoughts here!
My Inner Chick
August 4, 2014 at 9:24 pmP*RN?
Why?
Anyhow, I’ve read the first 2 books because everybody at
work was– The reason it is called GREY is because it’s Dull-Dull-Dull.
EL hit the right content at the right time; that ‘s all I can say.
Lucky B*tch!
Xxx
lisa
August 4, 2014 at 11:03 pmI know, right? Weird. It’s dull? I’m not surprised but most people said it was so great…Lucky B*tch indeed. She sure reaped the rewards! Thanks Kim xo
Maxwell Ivey
August 3, 2014 at 6:10 pmHi lisa; I imagine you won’t get this for a while, but after reading your comment on my guest post; I thought I should stop by. I hadn’t even thought about grey as a color and how it has nothing to do with erotica and is a very poor title choice. someone loaned me the audio version, and i quit about half way through. after reading and loving a n roquear, aka ann rice’s, sleeping beauty novels 50 shades didn’t do anything for me. and if it is all about fantasy then they won’t be producing any toys in grey. I can’t see color at all, and even I wouldn’t want my woman’s lingerie to be grey. and i certainly can’t picture anyone wanting their toys in grey. maybe they are right that hot sex starts in the mind. 😉 thanks for the post and i don’t know why they said it was pornographic. take care, Max
lisa
August 3, 2014 at 6:13 pmHi Maxwell, thank you for stopping over here! It’s always great to get a man’s perspective on these topics 🙂 “Sex starts in the mind” I think that’s very true.
Balroop Singh
August 1, 2014 at 5:17 pmHi Lisa,
I don’t think this post can be called p*rn! I have NEVER liked grey though life is full of this color, many times we come across those grey areas we wish we could erase out of our lives and we do succeed, to some extent by giving a big snub to it.
I haven’t read the trilogy, nor do I have any desire to! But there is no doubt that what sells these days is either something sensational or macabre! Good literary stuff is quite rare.
Thanks for a nice change lisa, I really liked it.
lisa
August 1, 2014 at 6:35 pmHi Balroop, yes, those ‘grey areas’ of life always get us. ‘What sells is sensational or macabre’–great observation!
Brenda Lee
August 1, 2014 at 8:13 amWait, what was considered p*rn? I don’t get it? I haven’t read the books although as juicy as I heard they were, I’ve also heard how poorly written they were by my author friends. Just goes to prove, sex sells, grammar doesn’t. 😉 I have no intentions reading the book or seeing the movie. Too much hype. I’ll create my own sex story with my hubs shades of grey tshirts. 🙂
Great post Lisa!
lisa
August 1, 2014 at 8:51 amMy actual post, the one you just read, she told me google asked her to remove it. We’ll see if that happens here…it seems pretty lame. Make your own sex story…love it :0 ‘Sex sells and grammar doesn’t’ #Truth. That would make a great tweet.
Tamara
July 31, 2014 at 6:13 pmThis one has been off my radar for awhile. I haven’t even watched the trailer that EVERYONE is talking about! (just not me)
And I get you about the shades of grey in my husband’s closet. I don’t like a single shade of grey myself.
lisa
July 31, 2014 at 8:04 pmI haven’t even read the book(s), Tamara and i’m pretty certain I’ll skip the movie 🙂 Your hubby’s favorite color is also Grey?
Mike
July 31, 2014 at 3:17 pmWowee, this was both steamy and awesome on your part, Lisa! Never saw that coming! LOL…re: your boyfriends grey t-shirts. Sounds like me and my baseball cap that I always wear! I feel “naked” without it on. I agree with you that I would not want to be comparing notes with a mother or MIL. I love Anne Rice but have not read The Sleeping Beauty trilogy. I do love erotica though! Do guys actually admit that LOL? Well, now that you’ve gotten me all hot and bothered I’m on my way soon out to Outback Steakhouse for dinner with friends. If I flirt with a cute waitress and get in trouble with her I’m blaming you! 🙂 And sending her to your post. Here is a link below that a gal put on my Facebook page yesterday ironically! Have a great weekend our wonderful friend! 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=golden+50+shades+of+grey
lisa
July 31, 2014 at 3:24 pmHehe, so glad you enjoyed this one, Mike. It’s kind of cheeky, in more ways than one. Definitely you should do a little flirting, LOL. Thanks for sharing the link! Have fun tonight.
lisa
July 31, 2014 at 3:30 pmOh, that is hilarious!! Love the clip 🙂