If Jane Austen blogged
I’ve missed you, dear Escapees! So, you may have noticed I’ve been gone for a month. At least, I hope you have 🙂 and you know what? I’ve been doing relaxing stuff; eating juicy peaches, smelling the roses, walking on the beach, seeing my kids, loving summer like it’s my last one. But now it’s time to get back to routine. Do you feel it, too? The fresh, cooler air blowing in, the golden hue to the early morning sunlight? It’s all telling me it’s time to go back….maybe not back to school but back to work and all that entails—writing and blogging!
Oh, and I have an important question for you.
I ran into someone today who asked me about my blog. When I told him what it was about he said “Bless you” for writing to help women getting out of unhappy marriages. He said he wanted to “beat the shit out of guys who hit their wives.” I said “I do, too” but I pointed out that the abuse often isn’t visible. It’s emotional and there are no bruises for us to see.
That’s why I love blogging and have this website because I love knowing that my words are helping someone right this minute. My words are helping someone see their life’s journey in a different light. Maybe they are inspired to make necessary changes. Imagine that…my tiny blog helping someone…So I was gaining some perspective on my little blog during break and here’s what I learned;
1. I’m more concerned about connecting with you rather than a search engine.
2. I don’t need to check my site stats everyday or at all…because I don’t care enough about those numbers
3. I miss my friends a.k.a Escapees
4. I love helping people
5. I’m keeping my site ad free for your reading pleasure but I’m not opposed to sponsored posts if I believe the information is relevant to you
6. I may feature guest posts more often in the upcoming year
7. I can live without social media but I love the connection it provides for me, my work and with my readers
8. I judge the success of my blog on the comments and discussion that follows each post (see #1 & #2)
9. Time flies, no matter how productive or lazy I am
10. R ‘n R is required to refresh and gain perspective on life, work, relationships…
Furthermore, it wasn’t easy staying away from social media for a whole month. I found myself checking in for pure pleasure and not to promote work and that was a nice change. I also had more time to do other things and one of them was writing fiction.
Oh, and…my short story collection is almost ready for professional editing. I think you will be interested in this collection for a few reasons; 1. It’s about love—losing it and finding it 2. It’s something we Escapees can relate to. Hopefully the characters will resonate and remain memorable long after you’ve finished reading their stories. So, my break from social media and blogging was both productive and relaxing. Now, I’m energized and ready to get back to blogging.
I still have an important question for you.
As I mentioned, I want to keep my site ad free. Google ads really aren’t worth their annoying presence (IMHO). They pay a pittance anyway. People often contact me for ads and requests to write posts for their products or services. I tell them I’ll only publish sponsored posts or promote products that will benefit my reader. So, you may see a few of those relevant posts peppered throughout the regular blog.
Honestly? I cherish ad free sites. They are relaxing to visit and not constantly in my face about clicking somewhere else, buying something or interfering with my site visit. We face so much noise in life, everywhere we go online or in person, that to peruse a site that isn’t chock full of ads is refreshing.
Finally, you’re probably wondering what my question is—I want you to choose your favorite subject here. You see without your help I can’t learn the most important thing about blogging—what your favorite topic is. Whichever topic gets the most votes is where I’ll keep the main focus on the blog. I want to keep you guys happy so take the POLL.
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I could sit here and tell you that I have every blog post planned for the upcoming year. That would be a lie because I don’t plan long term. I write as I go and the reason for that is I write from my heart. I can’t plan what’s going to spark two months from now. What I write depends on how I’m feeling, what’s happening in my life, the season as well as current events. Still, I want to make sure I’m focusing in the right place.
Also, I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep. That would only serve to disappoint. For example, I’ve had some professionals booked for interviews and they have disappeared on me after I told you all they would be here. For that reason, I’m careful about making announcements ahead of time about special guests.
That said, I haven’t given up on the idea of more guest posts so, if you have a story or experience you’d like to share that you feel make a good fit here, contact me. I would love to hear from you.
image; pinterest
Let me know in the comments if you have any other suggestions for blog topics. If you are a blogger, what do you think of advertising on your site? Do you write all of your posts ahead of time? Did you take a blog, social media or internet break this summer?
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Jane Thrive
September 4, 2015 at 10:26 amp.s. I love checking out your blog all the time–the only reason I voted for “dear reader” is because of the connection to other people–hoping we can all help and learn from each other. 🙂
Hugs!!
Jane Thrive
September 4, 2015 at 10:25 amHi Lisa,
So glad to see you’re back! 🙂 And so wonderful to hear you were able to spend time with your family and work on your writing. I have to get back to my fiction writing too, it’s there, nibbling at the back of my brain. So you’re inspiring me to get back to it!
I totally agree with you about making real connections in our digital world. I’m so glad you’re out there helping people–it’s something I hope I’m doing with my writing. My blog is therapeutic in my journey (and struggle!) towards healing from being in an abusive marriage, embracing my new life, learning new lessons, helping my kids grow. I’m so happy that I’ve met you and Liv and hopefully others who may or may not visit and not leave comments–that’s fine with me.
I do not write ahead of time…I write in the moment, but I do edit a few times before hitting the publish (although a typo might still get through, eep!). I guess my ultimate hope is like yours–to connect with other people, near or far, who may be going through similar struggles, to tell them, you are not alone, to hear and share in their stories. <3
Hugs!! Happy September!
lisa
September 4, 2015 at 4:13 pmThank you Jane. I always love to hear your point of view here! missed you this past month. It’s absolutely fabulous to meet all these divorced women who share their stories in a blog. Yours is always very inspiring and yes your blog is helping many women, I’ve no doubt. I do tons of editing and sometimes, the simplest post takes the longest, not sure why that happens. Inevitably there is always a typo that I miss. Hugs back to you, Jane and thanks for voting!
Stella chiu
September 4, 2015 at 7:15 amHi, lisa
Welcome back! What a vacation can do to a person – more inspiration. The benefit is for the readers.
You are right the emotion abuse is worse than the physical one.
SM is very addictive. Really need will power to stay away from.But I always appreciate to have the SM so that we can connect and share.
Have a nice weekend!
– Stella
lisa
September 4, 2015 at 10:06 amHi Stella, thank you for the welcome back and yes, it was a nice break. I’m excited to be back, though and connecting with everyone. I’ve drafted up several posts…some interesting ideas percolating 🙂
I know, I set my phone timer for 20 mins. while on facebook. Once it buzzes I know my time is up.
marie
September 3, 2015 at 12:53 amLisa, how nice to read you again. I am glad to see you enjoyed the break. It does feel good to disconnect a bit. And your projects are taking form, which is so good news. Can’t wait to read your short stories.
Love is all there is and all that matters so the subject is talking to me as you can imagine!!
It’s been a while since I checked my stats. Stats don’t matter much really.
What I missed the most during vacation is the relationship I have with my favorite bloggers, my special readers, like you. When people say this isn’t real life, I don’t get it. You are real. I am real. Why this relationship we have is not considered as real? I missed the exchange, the sharing, the caring.
But now you are back and full of ideas. Let’s go for it. Let’s inspire each other!
Much love from Paris Lisa.
lisa
September 3, 2015 at 9:31 amHi Marie, totally REAL friend, you are. Absolutely. These connections are really special and it’s been rewarding to meet people like you via blogging. “Let’s go for it. Let’s inspire each other!”—thank you for that Marie!
Balroop Singh
September 2, 2015 at 7:03 pmHi Lisa,
I am so happy to see you back…hope you had a wonderful time.
I am sorry for being so late here as I have been trying to cope with with several things since last week.
Blog breaks are also a good time to reflect and all your lessons are well taken…they bring out your benevolent and carefree nature despite everything. Guest posts definitely bring variety and I am happy to know that you are going to welcome guests. I wish I could write something related to your niche!
I agree with you, ad free blogs really look Great but some advts, which don’t interfere with the content could be considered as they help in the maintenance of the blog. Though very popular blogs have advts all over the place but they look very bad!
Congratulations for completing your stories. I look forward to reading them! My best wishes for a quick launch. Last but not the least, I missed you, really.
lisa
September 3, 2015 at 9:29 amHi Balroop, nice to see your face and hear your voice here as you always contribute a thoughtful perspective. I hope all is okay and that you’re able to resolve the things going on in your life!
Ads are okay if they’re done well, I agree. It does cost money and mostly time to upkeep and write a blog, for sure. One of the worst sites I’ve been on is Oprah’s believe it or not. The one woman who really should have an ad free site (isn’t she a billionaire?). Anyway, it’s a personal choice.
Thanks for the kudos on my short story collection and yes, I have to keep the momentum going and get it off to the editor! I’m excited to get some beta readers going on it too.
Vishnu
September 2, 2015 at 5:14 pmhi Lisa – glad I made it over to your blog, thanks to Balroop’s blog. Not sure what took me so long, considering we write on similar topics. Love this list and almost all resonate with me, esp 1,2,4 and 10. #7 i’m not so sure about – I have a love/hate relationship with social media:) I know it’s effective but it’s so time consuming! Glad to be here.
lisa
September 3, 2015 at 9:25 amHi Vishnu and welcome to my little blog. Thanks for stopping by. I also have a love/hate thing going with social media. I just ranted on G+ about certain people who inundate my mail box with every single thought/post—-why? I don’t usually share my complaints but I couldn’t resist LOL.
Brenda Lee
September 2, 2015 at 3:51 pmYeah! You’re back! I’m glad to see you did some soul searching over your break, my friend. That man that you spoke with seems like a true gentleman. What you do here is very special. I’m not an “escapee” but I love reading your posts and finding the inspiration in them. Keep up the good work, girly. Oh btw, thanks for the “ad” talk. Heading over to remove my Adsense. 🙂
lisa
September 3, 2015 at 9:23 amHey Brenda, thank you for the positive feedback. It’s always greatly appreciated! You’re removing your ad sense? They probably weren’t generating what you expected—at least that’s what I’ve heard from other bloggers plus my own experience with it…I’ll be seeing you over at My Girly Parts!
Brenda Lee
September 3, 2015 at 9:29 amActually, it was generating some but I was more interested in your comment about ads being annoying. In 3 days, I made like $7. Not sure if I’ll keep it gone or not. I really didn’t like seeing the ads myself. 🙂
Adrienne
September 2, 2015 at 11:55 amBravo to you Lisa for taking an entire month off. I honestly wish I could do that and maybe someday I will. I actually love being alone which a lot of people don’t know that about me so just enjoying my own company, getting some things done I want to, maybe visiting friends I haven’t seen or going someplace I’ve wanted to go. That would be great and I probably could do all of that within a month’s time.
I love the list of things you learned while taking a break and all I can say is that you know what’s the most important to you personally. I believe that everything will fall into place because of that myself.
As far as the topics, I am game on whatever you care to write honestly. As you know I’ve been divorced for over 25 years now and haven’t been in a relationship in over 10. All by choice of course but once again I just like being alone. Of course I have my family and friends too so they are always there when I need them.
Welcome back, have a great rest of your week and will be eager to see what you’ll be sharing next with us.
~Adrienne
lisa
September 3, 2015 at 9:21 amHi Adrienne, thank you for the warm welcome back! I believe enjoying your own company is one of the secrets to ongoing happiness 🙂 Thanks for the vote of confidence on topics, too. have a great weekend!
Claire
September 1, 2015 at 11:33 pmWell done you for staying away from social media for a whole month – I’m not sure I could manage a day! I think it’s a great thing to take a break every once in a while, to step back and see your blog/social media community from a slight distance rather than being in the middle of it all the time. I know I think up new and better topics and ideas in those times than when I feel I’m on the hamster wheel. That said, welcome back! Looking forward to reading more…
lisa
September 2, 2015 at 10:21 amHi Claire, yes, it was refreshing and as you say it can feel a bit like a hamster wheel 🙂 I did love the break and tried to turn off my writing/thinking for my blog so I could set my brain on fiction mode for the whole time. I wasn’t able to for the whole time but still, a great break.
Tamara
September 1, 2015 at 7:38 pmGlad to see you back. You were missed.
I try to keep my site ad free but I do have a BlogHer setup which I do like because my cousin is an editor there and they’ve done a lot for me and whatnot. That said, it doesn’t really garner any income!
I’ve learned a lot over summer. I’ve learned that expecting 100 comments per post is not realistic anymore, and to not seek it. I, too, have learned that I’m not opposed to sponsored posts if they’re relevant. In fact, they give me a thrill. They’re sort of my forte!
But I have to do just as many organic ones too. That’s my rule.
lisa
September 2, 2015 at 10:18 amHi Tamara, thank you for your welcome back 🙂 You do a great job of incorporating sponsored posts by adding stories and your photos. Even a cleaning product can be interesting the way you do it! 😉 Good for you. I see right now you have a new post up on back to school with Osh Kosh B’Gosh. I’m going to read it not because I have little kids going back to school but because I know you’ll have some cute pics of your kids in my favorite coveralls. I used to dress my kids in those classic b’gosh overalls 🙂 p.s. this is not a sponsored comment. Ha!
sherill
September 1, 2015 at 7:27 pmHi, i do have some needed break once in a while too, and it helped me a lot. I love reading your blogs so keep doing a great job, it is very informative and helps a lot of housewives out there. Thanks a lot for sharing. Great Read!
lisa
September 2, 2015 at 10:14 amHi Sharill, thank you for stopping by and I’m happy my blog helps you out!
Liv
September 1, 2015 at 5:14 pmIve seen you out and about – but I missed your writing. Glad you had a break. And glad you’re back. I’m all for more inspiration. Bring it on!
lisa
September 2, 2015 at 10:13 amHi Liv, thank you and yes, I agree on the inspiration topic 🙂 That’s my favorite one. Thanks for stopping over.
Jeri
September 1, 2015 at 1:20 pmI go back and forth on how much promo to do for the ol’ blog and the time suck of social media that goes along with it. As for a guest post, hit me down the road. I’d love to contribute some sort of divorce story.
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:56 pmHi Jeri, Ya, the promo is rather time consuming although fun. It can get in the way of our other goals. Your blog is so very educational. You’re providing a real valuable blog for us writers of all levels and types. Yes, I will ask you about a story in time. It might be a little raw for you right now?
My Inner Chick
September 1, 2015 at 12:50 pmI’ve missed you like a REAL friend!! LOLlll..
Seroiusly.
Love this: 1. I’m more concerned about connecting with you rather than a search engine.
It says MUCH about you, sweets.
PS. I’ve NEVER checked my stats. Can you believe it? I don’t want to know.
xxxxxx kISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:55 pmHey Kim, I missed you like a real friend, too! Hey, we ARE real friends. It would be so great to meet in person at a blog conference…hmmm we need to think on that. No stats for you either? I’m not a weirdo then. I thought everyone would tell me I’m crazy…well, I’m still a little crazy xoxox
Charlotte
September 1, 2015 at 10:55 amI’ve really missed you and it’s great to see you pop up in my feeder today 🙂 That said, I understand how essential it is to hit the reset button every now and then and stay present in life as it’s happening.
I know what you mean re: sponsored posts and paid ads. I try only to deliver content that’s relevant to my audience but every now and then, I recognize that I need to pay some billz too and there is something that might seem somewhat out of left field. You do what is right for you in your space 🙂 You provide a wonderful service for so many struggling–keep up the great work, Lisa 🙂 XOXO
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:52 pmThank you Charlotte! I needed to take a break from the whole thing. It just felt like the right thing to do. I enjoyed August immensely. Although I tinkered around with my site, it felt good to disappear off social media for a few weeks.
I totally understand the need for ads and sponsored posts. Yours are always interesting and relevant to your audience (I feel). Clothing and jewelry are always fun to read about. I used to have google ads on here but they were just kind of annoying and ugly haha and certainly not worth what they would bring in dollars.
In fact I will have my first sponsored post coming on Friday. I’m not opposed to it altogether but it has to make sense. Thanks for stopping over, I hope you cast your vote 😉
Shali
September 1, 2015 at 10:16 amMissed you too Lisa. Great blog. You are so real and so honest. You leave your reader with a sense of encouragement knowing that you are just like us. There is no silver bullet, you just write from your heart. Can’t wait to read your short stories.i know they will be great. I also know how difficult it would be to respond to all your replies, but know how much I enjoy reading your blog. S.
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:45 pmThank you, Shali. I’m glad you enjoy the posts and feel the honesty in my writing…sometimes too honest 😉 Answering the comments is really fun. The only time it’s hard is when the topic is difficult. Sometimes i have to let those comments sit for a few days before I can give a thoughtful reply.
I’ve missed you too and look forward to getting together soon.
Chrys Fey
September 1, 2015 at 8:56 amI voted! 😀
And I’m happy to see your break is over. I truly enjoy reading your blog posts.
I haven’t looked at my blog’s stats since the first year I started it when I was obsessed with checking it every day…and seeing nothing. Haha! I also rate my blog’s success by the number of comments. Not by the views or how many people have joined it, but by the interaction I get. That is what’s most important.
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:44 pmThank you, Chrys! Your success is fantastic based on your interaction and comments. It’s so fun to visit your blog and the comments are also very entertaining and educational.I’m surprised how many bloggers are saying the same as us, Chrys. They don’t bother checking the stats 🙂
Vanessa D.
September 1, 2015 at 8:39 amPicking just one is such a hard decision! I love the reader questions, but I enjoy all of your other topics as well.
I tend to fly by the seat of my pants with my articles, often what I write about is dictated by what I’m doing in my own home. Which is why I have so much less to write about in the winter months.
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:41 pmHi Vanessa, It makes sense that you write according to what’s happening at your house and the season. Your posts are very inspiring! You’re so talented—great how to’s at Heels and a Toolbox!
Michelle
September 1, 2015 at 7:40 amWelcome baaaackkk! I’ve missed you Lisa! XO
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:39 pmAw, thank you Michelle! It’s always nice to hear your voice hear. I hope things are going well for you!
tracie @ beets+birch
September 1, 2015 at 6:43 amyeah for your summer break! sounds like a lovely way to spend august.
so many yes’s on what you learned on the break!
to be truthful if a blog has ads i’m most likely to keep rolling. hate them. hate to feel like i’m being sold to.
i rarely check my numbers and just had this discussion yesterday with another blogger (in real life) as we talked about blogging. my take on it… if there’s money to be made on blogging.. i don’t really know but i do know when a blogger is in it for the money i can feel it and it turns me off again with the being sold too. i want real connections that’s my thing.
that all being said i should write something some time! hahaha
our life has been funny this summer for a lot of different reasons. i feel things settling down and should get back at it.
lisa
September 1, 2015 at 1:38 pmHi Tracie, well I’m happy to hear I’m not the only one who has let go of checking numbers. I agree with you where ads are concerned. I think they can be done tastefully but I’ve been to so many sites where they’re so much in your face that you forgot why you visited there in the first place.
Yes, I look forward to reading your new posts! You’re always so much fun. Miss you.