I guess I’ll start at the beginning to blast off my new site and blog. As you would have read in my bio, I made the most difficult decision of my life in 2005. I made a decision to end my marriage. It was not a decision I took lightly but when I made it nothing could change it back, that’s how sure I was about it. Since then I have become stronger, wiser, more tolerant, less judgmental of others, happier, and more fulfilled. Although I have gone through the stumbling blocks, including anguish, tears, anger and fear I have made it to the other side. The point is it is not easy to accomplish freedom, but is worth every tear.
I was inspired to write The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide to Leaving a Marriage partially as a form of therapy, because writing is a terrific release. But mainly, I was horrified by some of the situations I faced, alone. Having no one to turn to for advice legal, or otherwise I was frustrated at the lack of support out there. Sure I found resourceful books on divorce but they were all very doctorish, pschyo-speak, rather than friendly and realistic. With that said I hope to fill a gap with my book in giving advice because I’ve been there myself not because I am a psychiatrist and assume to know what’s best for you and your children. Only you know what’s best for your family- not me and not a doctor.
You know in this day and age, the general attitude in society is still viewing the woman as the victim? If you think about any movies, chick flick or otherwise, on the subject of divorce you will notice that all of the strong female leads have been cheated on. For example, “Must Love Dogs”, “First Wives Club”, “Waiting to Exhale”, “Stepmom”, “Something to Talk About”, “Living Out Loud” and I could go on and on. If you could indulge me in my humor, I guess Julia had it right in “The Runaway Bride”. It was over before it began.
Seriously though, this take on marital break down annoyed me more than anything else because it perpetuates this notion that divorce only happens once something happens to you. Once you are cheated on, then hey it’s okay to leave. Well, starting here let’s give ourselves more credit! Leaving your marriage could be for various reasons all very personal and not related at all to infidelity. Starting today, give yourself permission to think about leaving if you haven’t already. Do not justify to yourself why you should stay…but ponder the reasons for the unrest in your heart. Remember you are not a victim, waiting for something devastating to happen before taking action.
Be strong readers and remember, this is not a dress rehearsal! “We only get one shot at life, let’s take it while we’re still not afraid” as Rod Stewart reminds us. In the meantime, come along with me for a provocative ride as we tackle divorce topics from coping with ex-rage, co-parenting or legal and budgeting tips.
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March 27, 2012 at 10:43 amThank you so much for sharing your amazing knowledge with all of us. I’m waiting for some updates.
Cinda
November 19, 2011 at 12:31 pmWhat would we do without the support and help of others? How cool is it that you’ve turned what looks to me like a really negative experience into something positive – helping others in this lousy process.
There is nothing worse when going through a divorce and not having the insight of someone who’s been there before, because everything is so complicated.
I know, because I am in the middle of it right now and am slipping down the slope at breakneck speed. Every decision is agonizing and confusing – one mistake can be costly not only financially, but emotionally. I am worried about my kids and need all the help I can get.
Your book looks like a great read and I can’t wait to start it. Although I have a long road ahead of me, I am more hopeful than ever.
Thank you!!
admin
November 19, 2011 at 1:02 pmThank you Cinda! Yes, it’s been a challenging road, for sure. My heart goes out to you and I hope my book helps you out! In the book I have listed at the end of each chapter, further reading and resources on the related subjects. Don’t hesitate to contact me anytime. I know firsthand the heartbreaking concern we have over our children during divorce. Keep on doing your best and making the most of your time with them. No person or thing can replace a Mother’s love!
Your friend
November 18, 2011 at 1:16 ama BIG CONGRATULATIONS for getting your site up and going…It looks great and I love the book cover..
You are an inspiration
admin
November 19, 2011 at 10:03 amThank you so much for your encouragement my Friend.
Sue
November 18, 2011 at 1:14 amI’m sure you will help lots of women think about how short life is and how there is more to a marriage than material things. The women I know would much rather receive a simple Valentine card from their husband than a new necklace or earrings!
admin
November 19, 2011 at 10:02 amThanks Sue. You are absolutely right!
Lily
November 18, 2011 at 1:10 amI like your attitude! Too many of my friends are in bad marriages and I’m going to send them to your site. I think it might help them to read some of your stuff. Life is short, we have to make the best of it.
Lil
Randy Wells
November 14, 2011 at 2:50 pmGood job Thomson! I’m proud of you. Most people are afraid of their own shadow when it comes to challenging the status quo. Sucks to be them!